Are Gay Guys Non-Existent

You're out to your sister. If she's the only person you know, I'm pretty sure that your dating opportunities won't be that great.

Dating isn't like selecting your favourite option from a buffet, you actually have to engage with others and be open about your intentions. You can't get a boyfriend while in the closet.

 

well gay people are maybe 5% of the population, so 1/2 of that (gender) would be 2.5% of all people would be gay men. on top of that maybe 25% of them are in your age range. on top of that people find around 13% of people around their age attractive. and then there's the whole "get along" thing, as well as other complications (city size; and the fact you obviously can't meet every gay person in the city). so yes, the chances of finding someone are very low for gay people. sorry to say it

 

If you want to date, then everyone. Otherwise I'd put the idea out of your mind. Focus on coming out first, then move onto dating. That's a little more logical; you can't date people if you, too, apparently don't exist.

 

Because you can't date people if they don't know you're available to date? :rolle:

You don't have to come out to your boss or your colleagues, but you can't expect to properly date someone if you refuse to be out to at least your social circle and anyone you're interested in.

 

The more people you come out to = the more people who would know = more possible chances someone knows someone you might like = you may get a date with someone you might like = you might date someone you might like.

 

In the long run, it'll be better to come out, remove toxic friends, get new friends, than hiding a boyfriend from everyone and having to toss up between your boyfriend and your fake straight life.

Some people try that, but their partners get tired of it quickly and give up being the hidden, shameful part of their partner's life. It's really not worth it unless you're in danger.

 

wut. some people do date successfully in the closet, though it is certainly less likely. who knows, he might find the love of his life while still closeted -- it's happened before, it can happen again

 

Not trying to be unsupportive here, but reading thru the thread and looking at your posts you seem to want to meet someone but you don't want to do anything really different from what you are doing now, whether it be in regard to traveling (whether across the country or even across town), coming out to more people, going to gay bars, events, or organizations, or much else.

Unfortunately, this means that your current circumstances in terms of meeting other gay guys seem highly unlikely to change. Actions (or lack thereof) have consequences, and in this case that means your odds of meeting other gay guys are comparatively low.

Based on the above, it seems to me you have the following options:

A) start going out and actively seeking to be around other gay people, even if it means travel or clubs, or otherwise stepping outside your comfort zone

B) start coming out to more people. If you don't want to come out to everyone, fine. You certainly need to exercise judgement based on your circumstances. But your current blanket approach apparently isn't working for you. You might consider starting with the friend you mentioned who has become much more tolerant since someone else came out to her.

C) look forward to the fall when you are in college and can start coming out to more people. If that's when you think you will be more comfortable coming out, that's fine. But that also means you kind of have to live with the side effects of that choice in the interim. September isn't all that far away, really.

D) continue on doing what you've already done and accept that that makes it unlikely that anything is going to change.

My 2c worth,

Todd

 

I'm a guy who isn't obviously gay.. like at all. Sometimes I wish it was more obvious :/
Actually I meet more gays who aren't obvious than the stereotype ones. Maybe you need more signals than just being flamboyant

 

We are just exceptionally good hide-and-seek players! :icon_bigg

 

What do you find difficult about the idea of going to one of those gay scenes - specifically?

Todd

 

Ah yes, the majestic gay male. So very difficult to find in the wild. Ah! Yes! There's one now! Quickly, quickly, hide yourself so that you may not be spotted. They are a timid kind of creature, and so very easily frightened that they hide for hours, hoping not to be spotted. *CRACK* Oh, no! The gay male has heard us! He's run away.

This has been another episode of Man vs Gay- with Stereotypical Bear Gay.

 

I don't know anyone who is gay in real life yaaay :dry:

---------- Post added 27th May 2014 at 03:16 PM ----------

I am out to 4 of my crushes :lol: all are straight.