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I'm just so done!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by ocguy1126, May 12, 2014.

  1. ocguy1126

    Regular Member

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    Okay so I'm sorry if this is mostly just a rant but I really just need to vent my feelings right now.

    I'm a 15 year old guy that isn't out to the public, yet at least. I'm not 100% sure what I am yet but I'm probably gay since girls don't turn me on at all. I've had my girlfriends but I just see myself way more happy with a man.

    I'm a freshman in high school and for the longest time I've been trying to find other gay or bi dudes like me. It's just so hard looking for guys when you're not out to everyone...I've had a specific way of confronting guys which isn't the most successful way. I anonymously text them asking if they are, and while most of them say no, the hurtful things I get back is just terrible. I suppose doing that is better than actually confronting them and getting the "woah dude back off, i like pussy" speech. Even worse than that is the famous trolls. These guys will tell you that they are interested and as soon as you tell them who you really are you get the "I'm sorry bro but I just wanted to know who you are, I'm straight". It's the most aggravating thing in my life!

    I've been thinking of coming out, but to be honest I just couldn't live with all of the hate that I would get. Everyone seems like they are straight...my friends make fun of gays/bi's, my parents talk bad about them, but aren't necessarily against them. It's just that this world still considers being gay a failure which honestly, PISSES ME OFF.

    Here's another thing that pisses me off. Guys who act extremely gay, then when you try to hit on them threaten to beat the shit out of you because you are doing so. Then they have to insist on giving you multiple speeches about how they are in love with women and how they hookup with so many girls. Okay yes I understand they are straight and I respect that, but when you come around hugging, almost kissing, and giving suspicious looks to me, what do you expect?!?

    And finally, the "How can you be gay...just stop, you're fucked up. It's wrong." When I hear this I die 1% on the inside. Do people just think it's something that we choose? Can we just turn straight? No! Just like they cannot turn gay if they wanted to. I'm glad that the country that I live in is granting more rights and is...well at least beginning to form an acceptance toward us.

    People get mad and start arguing, "These homosexuals want everything, they want gay this and gay that, they want to be able to interact in public, and they even want to get married!" I understand that some people go too far and request that the whole world be turned into homosexual things instead of heterosexual things. Honestly though, the world needs to fucking accept that we exist and are not some inhuman beings. If you think about it, there are FEW examples on media about homosexual relationships. I said few okay? Why is it that when a man wants to kiss his boyfriend as a celebration, it is made a HUUUUGE deal? It's stupid.

    I'm tired of people not understanding us. :bang:
     
  2. Jkjkjk15

    Regular Member

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    I completely agree with you! I am also a freshmen in high school and I live in Michigan! Whenever I gain the courage to just say ok here we go and am about to come out someone says something to make me back down! I want to meet more people that are gay they live around me so I can have that support but it's hard when only a few people know I'm gay! Were in the same boat!
     
  3. ocguy1126

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    and the other thing is, even if I wanted to try dating sites, most of them require you to be 18 :frowning2: