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Should people be allowed to ask if you're a virgin.

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by CharlieHK, May 3, 2014.

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  1. CharlieHK

    CharlieHK Guest

    I mean when did it become a social norm to ask a personal question like that? It seems it's socially acceptable to ask someone where they've been down there. They can ask whatever they please.
     
    #21 CharlieHK, May 3, 2014
  2. BelleFromHell

    BelleFromHell
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    Just so you all know, I wasn't trying to say that everyone has the right to know, just people who need to, like partners and doctors.
     
    #22 BelleFromHell, May 3, 2014
  3. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    It's sexist because women are affected differently. Up until modern times, it was literally NOT possible for a man to be a virgin or non-virgin. "Virgin" is a female specific term, because it literally translates into "Maiden" (You wouldn't call a man a maiden, wouldn't you?) and refered to the hymen.

    Sure it might have changed slightly and men are shamed for being virgins, but it affects women differently. Women who are raped are seen as non-virgins and shamed for it; told that something was 'robbed/stolen' from them and they can never get it back. The concept of virginity actually INCREASES the risk of suicide in rape victims.

    It's sexist toward the lesbian community as well. If a gay man has gay sex, few people (except religious nutjobs) would say he is still a virgin. If a woman has lesbian sex, everyone would say she was still a virgin.

    And it makes sense. Virginity originally had less to do with sex and everything to do with a woman being claimed as a man's property. That's why back when, "non-virgin" women were killed and sold into prostitution.

    It's not just a problem with "sex" either. Many people will say lesbians can have sex, many people will say rape is not "sex" or a "real sexual experience".

    But It's the opposite for virginity which is why it oppresses women and belittles their lives to be dependent on nothing but dick.
     
    #23 Fallingdown7, May 3, 2014
  4. Jethro702

    Jethro702
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    Eh, who knows when. I don't think it should be a social norm or acceptable to just throw this question around in a casual convo.... I don't see why people are so interested in other's sex life.
     
    #24 Jethro702, May 3, 2014
  5. Mike92

    Mike92
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    I wouldn't ask, but it's not like anyone's doing anything wrong by asking someone if they're a virgin.
     
    #25 Mike92, May 3, 2014
  6. imnotreallysure

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    It might be inappropriate, but it isn't illegal. Going up to someone and asking them if they're a virgin might be incredibly invasive, but there is nothing prohibiting them from doing so. The person being asked can walk away and ignore them. I think people are making a bigger deal out of this than is necessary.
     
    #26 imnotreallysure, May 3, 2014
    Last edited: May 3, 2014
  7. BelleFromHell

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    [​IMG]
     
    #27 BelleFromHell, May 3, 2014
  8. Pret Allez

    Pret Allez
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    I would like to say "no," because people need to stop stigmatizing those who are sexually inexperienced. Virginity is a stupid concept, and we need to come up with something better for talking about sexual experience that doesn't involve shame.
     
    #28 Pret Allez, May 3, 2014
  9. PrincessEliza

    PrincessEliza
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    I think people should be able to ask, but I also think that it makes things hella awkward. This one guy asked me if I was a virgin, then said "you have to try it before you buy it." *cringe*
     
    #29 PrincessEliza, May 3, 2014
  10. apostrophied

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    Depends on who's asking, why they're asking, and how they're asking, I guess?
     
    #30 apostrophied, May 3, 2014
  11. iamshe

    iamshe Guest

    I don't think so. Not just anyone should ask someone such a personal question. It can put one in a very uncomfortable position and that's not cool. For me it's important to have respect for others' personal boundaries, especially if you don't know them well.
     
    #31 iamshe, May 3, 2014
  12. Reptillian

    Reptillian
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    I don't care if people say it. I'd be like "It's none of your goddamn business". Same if someone asks me if I'm asexual or gay.
     
    #32 Reptillian, May 3, 2014
  13. SemiCharmedLife

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    You can ask me. It's up to me whether I give you a real answer or a snarky one.
     
    #33 SemiCharmedLife, May 3, 2014
  14. JStevens96

    JStevens96 Guest

    I agree.
     
    #34 JStevens96, May 3, 2014
  15. Best of Both

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    unless your starting a relationship with them its not any ones business if you are or aren't
     
    #35 Best of Both, May 3, 2014
  16. An Gentleman

    An Gentleman
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    I can't say I'd ask anyone if they're a virgin or not, but I hardly think it's a rude question.
    It's not like we can ban people from asking that, anyways.
    To prevent miscommunication, virginity should only refer to sexual inexperience.
     
    #36 An Gentleman, May 3, 2014
  17. Hexagon

    Hexagon
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    I find the concept of virginity invalid.
     
    #37 Hexagon, May 4, 2014
  18. Aussie792

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    I agree totally. Not only as a social concept, but even personally, I feel no different from when I was technically a virgin only yesterday.
     
    #38 Aussie792, May 4, 2014
  19. 741852963

    741852963
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    Only potential partners really have a right to know. And doctors in limited circumstances (if they need to rule out STI/STDs).

    I'm constantly on the receiving end of it by strangers and it really does make me uncomfortable as it is so personal and private. It feels like you are being stripped naked on the spot.
     
    #39 741852963, May 4, 2014
  20. thekillingmoon

    thekillingmoon
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    I would say it's none of their business, unless, of course, you want to share that information about yourself.
     
    #40 thekillingmoon, May 4, 2014
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