Planning on doing it tomorrow night... freaking out a little.

Your case sounds just like mine.

 

Hi there, I've been in this situation before, and I know it's difficult. but I do agree when everyone here says you can't avoid the anxiety. Having anxiety is your body's reaction to a stressful and uncomfortable situation that's trying to get you to "get it over with" or "get out of there" because you don't feel good about what you're doing or what's happening. It's unavoidable in nervewracking times like this.
I would say just try and be confident in who you are and who you want others to see you as. If you go all mousy when you try to come out to him, he may think you're not sure about yourself or you're ashamed of yourself - and neither are okay. You should make sure you're confident and sure of yourself first, then try to portray that message to others. Who you tell others you think of yourself is who they will treat you as.

Most of all - good luck, and sleep well tonight and eat healthy tomorrow! You'll feel better.. All the luck in the world

 

Finally, a coming out story that we can all smile about. It seems as though it is only the negative ones that we hear about in this section of the forum.

Congratulations and I wish you the best with your family. The important thing is that you will have people around you who truly love and support you. Hopefully, your family will be within that group, but if they aren't in the end it will be their loss. (*hug*)

 

Congratulations! I too have found friends to be very accepting, but I always thought they would be. That doesn't lessen the nerves, though...

mln123, what an interesting story! You both came out at the same time to each other! It's like a fairytale. Any more details to share? Did you suspect that he was gay too? And I loved the cool, fun way your friend eased your coming out.

 

I don't know if it's normal, but I have felt that way too before coming out because there's always that small voice doubting the reaction. Plus, you two have known each other for so long. I think though, that if he's okay with gay people then he'd be okay with you. I can't say for sure but what's the difference?

I agree with what winterswimmer said, it's best to come out before drinking because the reaction could be a little mixed up.

Well, good luck!! I hope things go over really well

 

Congrats on coming out. So happy for you that it went so well and now you have another support as you decide if/when to come out to more people!

 

Good story, I found it interesting! Congrats on the bravery! And I'm so glad he is accepting!

 

WOW! I'm so happy for you, stillhidden! Sounds like a great friend you have there! This post really gives me hope that maybe one day, I may "come out" if I ultimately determine that I'm gay. Your post on my thread has also really helped me.

I want to backtrack a little though. How did you ultimately admit to yourself that you were gay? I feel now more than ever that I'm in denial, that I'm lying to myself. Take a look at these two threads of mine if you have time. These instances have really made me reflect upon my sexuality, and they may very well be obvious signs, but I'm still wondering if it could be something else. Thread 1 (the "trigger" situation for me which led me to eventually start posting on EC) http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexua...e-im-turned-still-need-help-soo-confused.html

Thread 2 (these occurrences have taken place since posting on EC some 5 days ago): http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexua...-sleep-related-sexual-cravings-sign-help.html

Again, congratulations! (*hug*)

 

My mom has never asked me personally, but she's asked my sisters what they think about my sexuality, and if I ever came out to them (I found this out because my sisters told me). Even last Christmas break, when we were on vacation, there were some gay people at a restaurant, flirting with a server (who was also gay). My mom was like "I don't think they chose to be that way, right? Why would they choose that. I think they're born gay". The way she said it sounded like that was directed at me, but I may have just been reading that wrong. I think my sisters sometimes think I may be gay (they definitely have suspicions, but they say that I don't seem to gay now - I guess that's because I try to act as straight as possible).

A couple of friends in high school definitely had suspicions about me. One of them was even like "it's okay if you're gay. You'll be my gay friend. I love gay guys" on the bus ride home from school one day. I was homophobic back then, so I flat out denied that I was gay, and expressed a disgust for homosexuality. A gay guy in my program in college right now (it's a small program) thinks I'm gay as well, and has even said that to other people behind my back.

Finally, my uncle even said to my mom once that he thinks I'm gay, since I've never been with a woman now that I'm 20. My sexuality was a topic for the family at a small gathering for a few minutes apparently. My sister texted me when they were talking about it.

All this being said, it makes me feel like maybe I'm obviously gay to others, but I DON'T see myself that way. I honestly don't. I don't feel like I act gay. I don't think that I sound gay. But if so many people have their suspicions about me, maybe I'm just denying it all...

 

I don't know if my sisters would want me to be gay though. They openly admit that they find gays kind of weird. One of my sisters even laughs at the more effeminate ones who talk with higher pitches and tones. They aren't homophobic, but like most people, they find gays weird.

When I say that I don't think that I act gay, I mean that there are certain mannerisms that gays have (not all, but most). I feel like I don't have them, but when I reflect upon what others have said to me and have criticized me for in the past, I MUST have some gay-like mannerisms (see my other thread here for a more detailed discussion on the "gay mannerisms: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/sexua...34793-analyzing-my-childhood-gay-actions.html)

And talking about girlfriends, I've NEVER had one, EVER, and I'm 20 years old... I think most of my family (including extended family members) find that as a red alert.

I just remembered a comment I got from one of my younger cousins a few months ago. She said something like "we always knew that you were different since you were growing up". I can't remember why she said that, but I think she was teasing me for something that I may have said.

All of these shots at me where people think I'm gay. All these comments. I would always brush them off. I would be angry that people would think this about me, but I never sat down and thought "maybe I am gay"... until now. I know guys always get teased about doing something "gay" by other guys, but I've gotten this from friends and family alike.

 

This sounds pretty familiar to me. As in, I almost never a had date with girls, never found any of them "hot", never felt comfortable on the dates I did have, etc etc. But I would have felt very weird thinking about "dating" another guy. But I never thought, specifically that I was, God forbid, a "queer". That's what we would have been back then, not gay, queer.

It's really up to you to decide what you are, not anybody else. It sounds to me like you may be gay, or some other intermediate shade of not quite straight. I understand how difficult it can be to come out and say it to yourself, but when you know for sure, and if you are gay, you will. Then at some point it will dawn on you, if you are, that when people talk about gays negatively, or say "faggot", or say that something is "so gay", or that gays shouldn't be allowed to marry, they are talking about YOU. It feels different then, so be ready for it. Welcome to the club, if you decide that you are.