Do you believe to long distance relationships?

Both people have to be willing to put in a lot of time and effort in order to make something like that work. There also has to be a very high level of trust in the relationship so that people don't go crazy. I have been in some over the summer months, and it can be very hard at times, especially with different time zones. Have to know how to defuse conflicts pretty well because they seem to come up a lot more in long distance.

 

That's pretty rude to say. There's a difference between saying that you think long distance relationships are idealization and actually telling someone personally that their relationship is just idealization. Who are you to say that their feelings, mindsets, and dedication to one and other aren't legitimate? Who are you to insult someone else's relationship? :eusa_naug

 

"It depends."

It really hinges on the specific people, and the circumstances.

One issue is just that sometimes it may be the only viable option. I knew of a woman who was married in a long term relationship. Both she and her husband were professors, with relatively unique academic focus. It would be hard to find a situation where both could live in a given location, and for both of them to be able to find someplace to teach within any sort of reasonable driving distance. So they had limited options: live in different places during the school year, one could teach outside the academic focus, or one could find some other line of work. They opted for the first option: one taught here in WA, the other in some other state. They apparently spent vacations together, and, I think, one weekend a month. Not ideal, but it was what worked for their situation.

 

No, I really don't think a long distance relationship can work. I mean, how can you ever get to really know somebody without ever getting to meet them in person? Online dating gets knocked at a lot on this site, but typically online dating sites lead to actual in-person dates to get to know each other for real. All the normally silly criticisms of online dating, e.g. you're only getting to know someone through a picture and a blurb and digital messaging, are valid when it comes to long-distance, digital-only relationships.

Plus human beings do crave physical human contact. Not just sex (though that is one thing many people crave), but just being with someone in person, maybe holding their hands, giving them a hug, just being around them.

Not even Skype or Facetime can take the place of being around someone and feeling all warm and fuzzy inside from just being around that person.

I think if you're in a long-distance relationship, there's a much higher chance that your 'partner' is seeking out physical relationships on the side that you'll never know about. Because human beings, again, mostly do crave physical human contact. How often are you and your long-distance partner going to actually be getting together for real if you live on different continents?

If I were in a long-distance relationship with a guy, I frankly wouldn't be surprised or outraged to know that he is actually going on hookups with guys near him on the side, I would find it understandable, because there is something missing in our relationship, so I don't think it would be an ideal situation.

But if people are able to make long-distance relationships work, more power to them. For me personally it probably wouldn't work, and I think there is generally a higher rate of failure among long-distance relationships compared to genuine in-person relationships.

 

I can understand how you may see it as one, especially if you have never been in a long distance relationship before. I believe that she is the person I'm meant to be with even if she lives so far away. Everything happens for a reason and I believe that we have been able to stay connected all these years so we could finally be together. I know we feel the exact sa e way about each other and when we are able to be together physically it will be worth all the time we had to wait. To be honest I never thought that long distance relationships could work, but I was willing to try it since I didn't want to wonder what if for the rest of my life. So far so good.

 

It worked for my cousin. He dated her for two... no, a little over one year, and then for the next four years he saw her maybe two times total. Now they're married.

 

No, not for me at least.

I've never understood how people get attached to someone they've never met in person before. Not that I see anything wrong with it, it just wouldn't work for me.

 

I've done long distance before, it was about 5 hours to drive. We were on separate ends of the province, so I'm not exactly sure if this is what you're referring to. It was difficult, we only saw each other once a month - if that. Skype was my best friend at that point, haha.

But I absolutely believe that long distance relationships can work. It just needs a lot of care and a lot of communication. I've seen long distance work in situations where each partner was in a different city, state/province, and country. It depends on the people in the relationship. There has to be a great deal of communication and an understanding of what each person's expectations and desires are within the relationship.

It can be really hard, but I absolutely believe they can work.

 

it's not easy, but yes. I met and married my partner over the net and long distance

 

Nope. I detach emotionally when I don't see a person for a long time. Idk why, it just kinda happens.

 

I have a friend (who I had a crush on at one point but that's another story) and he is in a long-distance relationship. They tend to visit each other once a month, I think. They definitely keep in contact. I think it helps that he loves New York so visiting his girlfriend isn't as much of a trial since he can visit the city he loves.

It's kind of weird because they started out as long-distance. Personally, I would prefer to start out knowing them in person and then doing long-distance if our lives changed.

---------- Post added 29th Apr 2014 at 01:35 PM ----------

Also, I'm gray asexual/demi so for me once I have made that connection emotionally I would be able to handle it, as long as we kept in contact and skyped at least once a week or something. I'm not a huge physical contact person, though if we NEVER saw each other I'd not be happy with that situation. Sex isn't a big part of relationships for me, though I also haven't been in an actual dating situation yet, so this is all conjecture.

 

For me, a long distance relationship would basically just be a pretty poor simulation of a real one; I don't think it would ever work and I don't plan on having one.

The best things about relationships with people, romantic or not, cannot happen over a skype chat. At least not for me.

 

My uncle said he drove ~450 miles (over 6 hours) every weekend to see my aunt. I was tempted to ask if it was worth it (which he would have found funny), but my aunt was around lol.

So I am going to say it depends on the person. I personally wouldn't really want to deal with that.

 

For me I believe in finding true love regardless of distance or gender. So if a person were to find someone that lived in the same area as them than I say good on them while as if that same person were to find someone who lives in a different state or farther away like say a different country but these two people felt a connection and really loved each other then I could say this is great for them more power to them. I don't mind it myself personally but I am happy in love with my boyfriend and I couldn't ask for anyone better in my life

 

It works for some people, but for me... Not really. I don't want to feel like I'm talking to a computer all the time. I want to comfort and/be comforted properly. I want to see them smile, hear them laugh with no occasional static, I just want to be near them.

 

oh yes they can, of course I have never been in one, I sometimes wish tho it beats being unloved, jk.

but as long as the attraction and affection are there, it can be enough, and then u can always use Skype. so yeah it can work, but you gotta work at it just like any relationship.

 

My ex girlfriend and I were long distance There are some benefits of long distance for example you know how much someone loves you and is serious about you if they're doing everything in their power to make plans to come visit you and take action on it. Also the greatest thing is that you get to know someone on a more personal/emotional level rather than physical and I've heard from other LDR couples that when they do see each other finally the physical intimacy is amazing. I knew a couple, the guy living in New Jersey and the girl in England who were together for a year until finally meeting and they posted a video of them meeting for the first time and it was the most romantic thing ever her friend recorded the video she was so happy she yelped his name and jumped into his arms and they made out. Cliche but adorable.

Anyway though long distance is pretty difficult. My girlfriend broke up with me because she didn't have time for a long distance relationship with her work and school. The thing about long distance is because you have to have time to talk to the other person, my girlfriend and I tried to talk at least once every day. But it really sucked I mean we had plans to meet and go to college together and I daydreamed about it all the time and when she broke up with me it just felt horrible to know all my fantasies were wasted, also I had to re-make all my college plans.

 

Depends on the dedication of the couple.