I've only really accepted that I'm gay in the last year or so (before then I just thought it was a "phase" and would pass or something). I've met a guy, we've been together for over a year, but he's now moved abroad. I don't live with my parents any more, but we're still in regular contact (I pop home most weekends to catch up with my friends back home). Because of the frequency of my contact with parents, it's quite difficult to explain why I'm going abroad to them when I work in an office job that has no need to go abroad and I only have like one holiday a year. I recently went and saw my partner last week over Easter and told them that I was in another country doing sports with my old club from uni, but I don't want to keep lying to them. I've told a few of my friends about my partner and they have all been amazingly supportive, but it's my parents I am truly terrified about telling. The reason for that is more because of my dad. Mother would likely accept me for who I am, no worries, but my dad seems pretty homophobic (to the extent that he looks disgusted when he sees anything remotely gay on TV, and even once made a comment along the lines of "I don't have a problem with people generally as long as they are straight"). What I'm wondering is has anyone here come out to their parents/homophobic friends and were they well received? How did you do it?
Sorry, I wish I could be of help, but I'm honestly am in the same shoes as you. My family (in particular my mom and dad) are both extremely religious and very homophobic. They think "the gays" are what is "wrong with this country/world" and say hateful things about us all the time. They have no idea that I am gay, and when I visit them, it's always quite painful. I would stop going, but I do love them despite all the hurt they have caused me over the years. Since you don't live with your parents, that's definitely a big plus in this situation. If you aren't dependent on them for money/housing/living, then it is just a matter of... are you prepared to not see them for a long time if they refuse to accept you? I'm pretty sure mine will not accept me, and I might lose them. That's why I still haven't told them.
Family can go to either end of the extremes. 1.) Once they see that it is family and that you're still who you were two seconds ago, and nothing has changed, they may suddenly become very accepting. 2.) They can be offended, "How dare my own son be a [homosexual slur]." But often enough you can judge how they would react by your previous experiences. If you have had a good health relationship with your parents, then 99% of the time you will have accepting parents, and the negation of course. Just think about it for a while and think of all outcomes. i.e. If mother is accepting but father isn't, father is but mother isn't, etc. etc. Coming out is also a "right time- right place" sort of thing. Either way, I wish you the best of luck and hope your parents are very accepting ^^
It's tough. I've been going through so many scenarios, and one thing all the people I have come out to so far have said is that I'm still the same person. I'd hope that my dad would take it the same way but I just don't know. I don't think they would refuse to see me (my mum wouldn't have that), but I'm worried my dad might distance himself from me. When is ever the "right time"? I've read those articles on Google and a lot of them are all cringeworthy (e.g. sitting down going through your old high school photos and remarking how good those times were).
I'd say the right time is when you're sick of hiding. When being in the closet is getting you down and making life difficult.
There is already a distance between you and your dad because you lied about your trip abroad. I think the truth could bring you closer.
He doesn't actually know I lied about this yet. I am however getting sick of lying about it. I'm debating telling just my mum to begin with and telling her that I have a partner who lives abroad and leave it at that. I've got a picture of my boyfriend and I from when I saw him last week so I could go for the old saying "a picture paints a thousand words" and let the picture tell her? What do people think?
