The LGBT group on campus is having a year-end study break thing in a couple hours. I want to go since I only have one gay friend in this city and he's moving away soon, so it'll be good to meet people. But I'm freaking out. For one, I hate going into any kind of social situation where I'm the "new guy" among a group of people where everyone knows each other already. It's about the worst situation for my social anxiety. More importantly, I worry about being an older grad student at one of these things. I'm not there looking for younger guys to hook up with, but I worry that I'll be perceived like that and be avoided. Any advice? Has anyone been to one of these and can tell me how it went?
I've never been to one, but I plan on it soon. But maybe you could bring your friend or another friend that doesn't mind going along? Having someone else that you know there with you will definitely ease the anxiety and help you to have a good time and be able to meet other people.
Unfortunately my friend doesn't go to school here, and I'm not going to drag any of my straight friends there with me.
From my experience, it's ok to be nervous and a bit fearful. But the cool thing is these groups are usually very receptive to new people, both gay and straight. Go in and be yourself. No one is forcing you to stay there either. If you think you are having a bad time, leave. You will not hurt anyone's feelings.
Ok...so I went. It was pretty awkward at first, but then in walked a guy who I'd met at an event I went to a couple weeks ago, so I said hi and reintroduced myself to him and that sort of got things rolling. There were a couple people there who were staff members and they talked to me a lot in the beginning and let me know how the center works and what kind of resources and events they have. And I met some of the other students who were there. They all knew each other pretty well...there was a lot of laughter and witty banter. Yeah it was awkward at times, but not any more awkward than if I'd been the new guy at any other group's end-of-the-year event. And, it's open in the summer so I'll definitely pop in more often, if only to go and do work or eat my lunch or whatever.
YAY!!! It's always going to be awkward in new situations (unless you're like my friend who can walk into a place and come out having made 15 new friends-still mystifies me as to how he does it), but it's good that you went!!
