Alright so, I live in an area made up of towns of 300-1200 people. Everyone knows everyone kind of stuff. 30 minute drives to places considered cities, and they are even small in comparison to most. I don't get questioned by people if I'm gay or anything, I'm not the kind of person that gives off much of a vibe towards people thinking about me like that, which is nice cause in a way it makes life easier not being out, especially at work. I get not being too open about being into guys makes it all the more difficult, but it's not in the books, and not something I want to do. Just not something I'll ever be 100% open about to everyone I meet. I know there has to be more guys around like me, but how do you find them? I've looked online a bit, but still seem to come up short, usually only a handful of people in my area even listed. I'm talking setting search radius to 75km, and only bringing up 30 listings. I'm not interested in moving to a bigger city, I love the country and everything that comes with it, and really want to find someone who is the same. Is there anyone else out there in this same kind of situation? Anyone with experience in finding somebody for more than just a hookup in rural settings? I'm getting pretty tired of not having somebody in my life and getting almost desperate. Thanks for reading, and thanks in advance for any advice or comments.
I wish I had some advice. But I can say I'm in sort of the same boat. I'm not really looking for a relationship now, but I'd like to meet other LGBT people in the real world. Problem is, despite living between 2 counties with a million people, there is next to nothing for a gay male my age. Everything appears to be for lesbians, 20 year olds, or "mature" men (read: well over 50). Discouraging. But...at least you can perhaps take some comfort in that things are not necessarily automatically better in more populated areas.
Yeah, I'm in my 20's. I like fishing and camping, atv's, hunting though, and sure there's probably a few guys that like guys with those interests around, finding one that is even remotely ready to even talk to someone about it seems impossible. There's no lgbt groups around with those interests, and the ones that are it's not like you'll find someone out in them either. It's pretty nerve-wracking lol. I don't really know if it's comforting that anyone else has as much trouble anywhere at finding someone, as I hope the best for everyone, in my case though, I think I still have more of a chance staying in the kind of area I am to find what I want. Thanks for the reply
Have you looked in to taking a week out and travelling to a gay mens retreat week? Probably one happening within a flight distance away. This will probably not get you initially what you want, but it will help you network. You will become close to, say 30-50 guys over a week. Then you are planting seeds for the longer term. Someone you have made friends with will contact you after and suggest he come and visit. Or that you go and visit him. Or that you take a holiday break together.. or whatever. It is not quite what you were asking, but as you have to be inventive when living in isolated areas it may be worth a thought. The other thing, apart from dating sites, is to generally widen your social circle in your community. Join loads of activity/ interest groups. This will increase your chances of crossing paths with someone special ?
I haven't looked into anything like a retreat no. I don't really know how those work at all or to go about looking into them. I'm not really the most social person though, so I'm not sure if meeting a bunch of people face to face would be for me. I've considered the idea of looking outside of my area, since though I have a fixed job here, for the right person I would be willing to relocate, and maybe meet up a few weekends to get to know each other. I don't really know though. Don't know where to even go about that. As for getting more active in my community, I guess there's a few things I could get into, but I'm not sure if anything I've been looking into would make it easier.
Do you have an online presence? If someone was looking for somebody like you would he find you? Maybe someone moved to a city looking for love and would much prefer to be back in the country with you.
Yeah I have an online presence, so it's not like Noone could ever find me. And yea sure there could be a guy in the city looking to get back into the country. I'd be cool with it, but i haven't met any yet.
Gay 'retreats' can be quite challenging but they work wonders. They are not 'sexual' events but just introduce you to more people in the same boat. There are several in Europe and the USA. But you need to feel 'ready' for that. Keep it in mind. The other thing is you could wear a rainbow coloured strap or key fob or something that may prompt someone to strike up a conversation with you !
I don't think I'm ready to do something like a retreat. It sounds like a good idea, I'm looking for just 1 on 1 meeting with someone though. Wearing something with a rainbow on it isn't really something I'd like to do either. It's a little subtle but something everyone knows so would end up out to a lot of people I don't want to know. Thanks for the suggestions though.
