I posted this in another section, but never got any replies. Seems that there are more women in this section whose stories are similar to mine. So I'll try it here. One of my biggest fears about leaving my husband is getting back into the dating scene again....something I haven't done in over 10 years now. Especially the female dating scene, which is completely new territory for me. Not that I would be in any hurry to jump right into dating after a divorce, but I know that I would eventually get there. And I don't exactly live in an area that is a mecca for young, attractive, single, successful lesbians. So how does one go about jumping back into the dating pool, into unfamiliar territory, after the end of a long relationship? I'm worried that most women will be very turned off by the fact that I was married to a man and have children.
I am in my 20's so I may have a different outlook on the matter. In my case, I don't think someone having children would be a deal breaker for me to be with them. My whole thing is there are other factors that play a apart in how I decide. One if I like the person then why would I judge them for having children? I quite like children and while the children or child would not be mine I would try my best to treat them as though they were (when it gets serious) and of course you will get different responses on this. Some people don't want children and or are selfish and feel the attention needs to always be on them, while others would like to share the work in raising the children. You will likely get a different response for many. Again, I don't believe you having children is a deal breaker. If someone judges you based solely on that rather than who you are (personality, values etc) then they are not worth your time. Best of luck!
I am just one step ahead of you SleepyT as in I am now single after many years of being married. The one thing I am not sure about is going to bars (gay or straight) in the mind of finding someone. And well the thought of it sends shivers down my spine. May need a few drinks to give me courage to go up to someone I like. And I have children too, so any women I date would have to like kids, although they won't be meeting until I truly know her and feel the kids would be ready to meet her too. I would date a women with kids for sure. :icon_bigg
I'm a gay male, but in my experience I wasn't judged by other gay men for having been married to a woman. It is understood that some of us take longer to figure ourselves out - it wasn't an issue. The person I met and have now married happened to come from a similar situation. We both had been marred - both had kids. And while that complicates our lives, it makes our situations very compatible. We both get it. We understand the commitment it takes to be a parent. So you never know - you might find someone with a similar background who also has children. I refer to it as a 'new age Brady Bunch'.
I tried online dating and was upfront about being a mother t ---------- Post added 9th Apr 2014 at 12:15 PM ---------- I tried online dating and was upfront about being a divorced mother to a small child. Plenty of women were interested. In real life, the second conversation my now girlfriend and I had about potentially dating was focused on me being a mom. She had never dated a parent before. I think it's something that needs to be discussed but my past marriage to man and my daughter have not held me back : ) Sorry I didn't know the first attempt went through!
