What are your guys' go-to conversation starters? Like how would you approach someone you either don't know or don't know well? I'm just curious because there is this really cute guy in my statistics class that I'd like to talk to. I'm always at a loss of words when I see him though. He always talks to me, but I can never start up a conversation with him when I have the chance.
I do almost the same as ElliaOtaku... I go up and in a strange voice say something random like "Hello, do you like elephants?" And if they're nice and silly like me, they play along and subsequent conversation comes naturally. If not, they dismiss me as weird, and I don't want to be their friend any more
Usually I'll just introduce myself and start talking about what interests me and see what they are into.
A funny remark about something. Maybe even ask for directions although I know where I'm going. Admittedly it's a lot easier when they wear band shirts you recognise. Let them talk about themselves. Ask about their interests or opinions and they'll do almost all the talking.
To reiterate what other people have said, take an icebreakers approach. Ask him about his family, favorite cuisine, hobbies, music, etc. Maybe you guys can find some things in common and then even build more conversations from there.
Well, I was recently stalking a "crush-from-afar" of mine on Facebook, and learned that his sister is in one of my classes. "I've been tempted to abruptly approach this nearly-complete stranger and ask, "Hey, aren't you ****'s brother?", and hope something ensues. Ah, dreams of improbable action~ So yeah, my advice: Stalk people till you find out info, then manipulate said info to provoke conversation ( ^.^)
If you're in a class, say something about the class. "Wasn't this lecture fun/boring/confusing/stupid/pointless/some other adjective?"
These are all great ideas. Thanks guys! He wears a soccer team shirt to school sometimes. Maybe I'll catch him when he is wearing it and ask him about it. It sucks because we only have like 5 minutes before class starts so it's not very long for a conversation. And after, my clingy best friend doesn't give me a chance to speak to him :dry: Haha I actually considered this. He posts (rarely) on Facebook/twitter. I thought that maybe I could bring up something he posts (going to a bulls game or having to go to his sisters "boring" recital) I just didn't know if he would be turned off by this This is a great and simple approach. I'll try when we return from Spring Break. The problem is still my clingy friend who gets extremely jealous and verbally hostile when I speak to anyone else... But that's a different problem...
I don't recommend using anything you could have almost only known had you stalked him on the internet -- 'cuz then he'll know (._. ). My method is rather limited to general knowledge of non-acquaintances.
I guess "stalk" is a strong word. I'm friends with him on Facebook and we follow each other on twitter. So his posts come up on my newsfeed. We are on good terms, but haven't had a full length one on one conversation yet. It's mainly just passing remarks and small jokes.
Ask him what he does for fun or his plans for the weekend (or what he did last weekend, etc.). Basically, be interested in what he's interested in, and try to find common ground. It's best if you can share your own anecdotes/opinions about the same subject. You need to pay attention to what he says so that you can bring things up later that demonstrate you remember.
Say something related to the class like this: "I'd like to treat you like this homework assignment, slam you down on the kitchen table and do you all night." LOL JK!! I'm not the best at starting random conversations, but I usually try to make it about something you have in common. If something interesting happened during class, maybe you could say something about that.
So a friend enlightened me with the "ask a question" approach. We got a project over spring break and she suggested I ask him a question about the project to start a conversation. Do any of you think this is a good way? Or is that trying to hard? Since I won't see him over break, I will be messaging him through Facebook.
mmmm, current events (non political) are always good like for example: "hey did you hear about soandso last week? it was all over the internet/news dude" haha or I sometimes talk about technology "what kind of case do you have?... oh nice... I have the same phone" the conversation usually carries on naturally. I'm not a sports person but you can talk about that if you want. oh the SB project falls under current events ^.^ and it's definitely not trying too hard lol... ask a genuine question and hopefully he answers with a genuine answer oh also if you don't know the person too well... don't be afraid to start with "hey I've seen you before, my name is ... (shake hands) nice to meet you " that's how it works in the business world.
Well if you say he sometimes wears a soccer short, next times he does, a simple "You play soccer?" Will probably get a conversation going
So, hijacking this thread, I think the girl I mentioned earlier, whose brother I have a crush on, might have a crush on me ( .__.); I've been becoming better acquainted with her since she has a blood connection with "that boy, tables away"... oh dramatic irony~ I hoped to pull some advice out of the air, but can find no justifiable reason to be posting such self-indulgent and irrelevant thoughts. Shameless, I am.
That's rough! I had a similar thing happen to me. I was crushing on this guy, so I became friends with a close friend of his. I asked her to help me "become better friends" with this guy (still don't know why she didn't call me out on my sexuality right then and there). Through the process, she developed a huge crush on me. And I mean huge. I'm convinced she still has a crush on me even though I came out to her. I guess my advice would be to drop the word "friend" when referring to her. Make it subtle, yet noticeable. "Hey friend, how's it going??" "What's up pal?" "Hey bud!" "Your brother is hot" always works too but... (Jk)
Taking the thread back on track... I've found that, for me, the very best way to start a conversation is to compliment the other person about some aspect of him or herself... a pendant or unusual jewelry or piercing or tattoo is always good, because the person gets to tell you the story of how they got it, what it means to them, and so forth. People enjoy talking about themselves, and you get to understand a lot more about them than if you bring up the weather, sports, or some other common topic. Also, if you're incredibly shy in social situations (like I am), it's pretty safe from a vulnerability perspective. Nobody's going to rip your face off for complimenting them on something they're wearing. I've had some marvelous conversations (and nice friendships) that developed out of a simple icebreaker like the above.