There's a girl who very likely is interested in me, as she frequently smiles at me in a very telling way. But I am in a committed relationship, so I don't want to give any wrong ideas. So how can I nicely react to that kind of attention? Should I just smile back kindly? Is that ok? That seems like the natural reaction, in my opinion... I just wonder if it is wrong from my part to answer the flirt (in a mild way) unless I'm actually interested...
"Should I just smile back kindly? Is that ok?" If your partner is worried about you SMILING at people, they need to take a serious look at their trust issues.
No no no!!! My partner isn't worried at all. I am worried about hurting the feelings of the person who flirts with me, by giving that person wrong ideas, and those wrong ideas possibly leading to something awkward.
OH, sorry! Well in that case, they need to learn at some stage that not everyone who smiles is interested...or everyone would always look sad
Agreed with Ellia - I hope your partner isn't THAT protective. But, a few things that I think about when responding to someone who's flirting with me (I am also in a committed relationship): • I try not to assume they're flirting for as long as possible. They could just be being friendly, or talking like they normally do. Don't make the situation (prematurely) awkward by being rude and assuming that they're flirting with you. Wait until it is CLEAR that it's going on, and then respond to it. • I try to be friendly. You don't have to be overly-friendly, but just because someone's flirting with you doesn't mean that you have to give them the cold shoulder. They probably wouldn't be flirting with you if they know you're in a relationship already. • If things get too serious, like if they ask you out, then you can kindly explain that you're already in a relationship, and if you (and at this stage, your partner too) are comfortable with it, you can go out as friends. These are just things that I try to keep in mind. You might have other things, or you might disagree. Just sharing what I know.
Thanks for answers Ellia and TJ Those are good suggestions. Yeah, I suppose smiling is good, no matter what And TJ, I really like your suggestion about going out as friends in the end. That is actually what I sometimes wish would happen with certain people. Sometimes there is a person who seems really interesting overall but there's flirt and then I just don't know what to do... So I end up distancing myself, though I'd actually like to get to know the person as friends... And as I said, my partner really is cool with it. He isn't the jealous type at all. Hmm... Next time flirt happens I'm just going to try your hints! I'm sure it will work out nicely.
Good, good. Glad he's isn't a jealous one. Those can be... exacerbating sometimes. Aye, the couple of times that I've been put in the awkward being-flirted-to-when-already-in-a-relationship situation, I've stuck to those points and things end up good. We're still good friends and keep up with each other, so I think it worked semi-well. I will say that I didn't take my own advice one time. A guy was flirting with me and I gave it plenty of time to see if he was just being friendly because I honestly didn't know if he was gay. I creeped on him a bit and saw on his Facebook that he was interested in guys and immediately told him, "Hey, I don't want this to turn into a relationship. I'm in one." :eusa_doh: I felt bad after that because he said he just wanted to be friends. I judged wayyyyy too early. Luckily he's a cool guy, so he understood. Anyway. Just an anecdote.
I kind of really dislike when people flirt with me if they are not interested. It's too easy to hurt people. If they flirt repeatedly it's better to just politely tell them you are in a relationship, unless it's an open relationship and you have already talked with whomever your romantic partner is.
Rainmustfall... I see your point. And agree with it for most part. I don't actively intiate flirt, but if someone flirts with me first I may answer it (usually in a milder way)... it is not always a situation where it would be natural or proper to walk up to them and tell them I'm in a relationship. Like this girl, we don't even talk. And I don't want to be cold and rude anyway... Sooo... I'm going to just try "be nice and normal" strategy.
If they're really do flirting and don't know you're in relationship, why not start talking about your partner? Like "Hey, my bf/gf is..." That way, you're indirectly telling them that you're with someone else.
well you could try to make friends with her and see how she acts round other people to determine whether she is flirting or not.
I've done this before. Bring it up like in regular conversation. I have my phone background as a picture of me and my S.O. so if someone is flirty I just play around with my phone and then they see the home screen and leave me alone.
