Given the nature of the discussion that might be the most hilariously inappropriate statement ever xD I don't know if its so much ballsy as it is just plain stubborn and practical. I mean I'm not about to walk into the men's wearing a skirt!
Back when I was passing a slight bit better, I got a few looks when I went into the women's bathroom lol. Then they saw the purse. Awkward times.
That's a cool idea! Anyway, I'm male and I look male and I identify fully as male and I live in Pennsylvania in the United States and you'd be surprised, the bathrooms at our shopping malls are surprisingly clean and shiny, but the public libraries and grocery stores? Absolute nightmares. It's really weird. But I guess that's kind of missing the point, I think most retail places could easily afford to have a gender neutral or 'family' bathroom, as they're sometimes called.
I use no public restroom, unless it is unisex. Last time I used the women's room, I had a full-blown panic attack, and I haven't yet gotten over my anxiety in regards to using the men's room.
Even though I am pre everything I avoid bathrooms because I feel out of place in mens and I know when I transition female bathrooms will be a problem since ( allot of ) cis women do not want us trans women/girls in there. I also dread porta potties because they sting and normally there is a line .
I myself have always felt a little uncomfortable using the men's, but here's how I look at it: The categorization of public restrooms is a little outdated and inherently awkward if you ask me. But I try to remember what they're rule actually is--it's a separation of the sexes, not of the genders. I walk into the men's only because I have a man's body parts and that is where society wants me to use those parts. Even if I feel like I am female most days, I still have this body and the rules are clear. So... don't feel like a perv for using the women's restrooms. You're only doing what society asks of you.
But come on. It's not like they're gonna do penis checks for every guy who walks in the men's room, you know? I mean, I don't know how it is where you live but maybe that's the case. Hell, it's kind of the case in a lot of places. Where you're supposed to go's based on the letter on the ID. But is it right? No. Someone should be able to use the room where they're most comfortable which is, namely, the one that matches the gender they identify with. Lauren, I can kind of relate. I don't pass well enough to simply walk into any old men's room without worrying about getting shit for it. I mean, my college has a policy that protects gender identity but some days, I'm getting she'd too damn much to think I can go in without having to explain my case. Gender neutral bathrooms are a life saver. Seriously. The only issue is that I only know of 3 and there's usually a line. I mean, is it wrong that it irritates me that much? There's male/female rooms down the hall, it's not like there's no bathrooms.
Winchester, don't bite I believe there are areas with NO unisex bathrooms at all, and I think Skyline gave an excellent idea how the trans people could feel a liiiittle bit better and work around the problem. I have never really looked up unisex bathrooms, but I know that there is none in our huge office building. And with several thousands people there, yeah I believe there are trans people there who have to deal with it. I know there are some bathrooms at McDonald's, but they are for mothers with babies and disabled. Which kind of doesn't fit either, does it?
I hate using public restrooms, I always avoid them as much as I can or use Uni-sex ones Nyu~ Most of the time I can find a Uni-sex restroom but in the few times I don't it feels really awkward to use a public restroom Nyu~
When I went to a writing conference, I had made myself so pretty, and I was really proud, but when it came to the restroom, I was terrified. I wasn't completely female in appearance, but I didn't feel safe in the men's room. When I did go in, I had to use the stall. On my way out, I felt a bit better, emotionally. But there was someone who came out of another stall, and rather than ignore me, he watched me, smiling, and I just left @@ I felt way too creeped out. Of course, on days that I go to school feminine and use the men's room, no one comments or anything. I can't say I completely identify as female those days, as far as appearance, but I've never been stared at, commented on, or harmed in any way. I would still, in the end, prefer the women's restroom or a gender neutral restroom.
This is a hot topic in Maryland right now... as a bill is due to the house for voting for transgendered rights, all opponents of the bill seem to be hung up on the bathroom part... and calling transgendered people "cross-dressers" and our "sexual deviancy"... I wish they understood how we feel using bathrooms in public...Like they think it's more emotionally scarring for cisgendered people to encounter a transgendered person in the restroom... when its actually more so for us
I am having an awful day so this is going to sound like a rant but I really think it's high time public bathrooms were re-designed both in terms of the layout and facilities in them AND the whole concept of male and female bathrooms. It has always annoyed me in the past when as a woman trying to use the public bathrooms, mothers would insist on taking their sons in with them. I have even seen teenage boys in there! While most have been harmless, there is always the one boy who tries peeking under the doors or through gaps in the doors or something yet do the mothers bother about this? Apparently not. Meanwhile, women who dress masculine and may or may not be lesbians get frowned at by other women using the bathrooms and although I don't know if any of them were actually ftm, I would imagine the same reaction. I may be wrong here but I reading up about public bathrooms online written by trans women, I understand that women also have problems with trans women using the women's public bathrooms. So women's bathrooms would therefore appear exclusively for straight cis women. I don't have any experience of using the men's bathroom because I'm not presenting as male yet and just generally avoid public bathrooms altogether. But what bothers me is the lack of cubicles or stalls as some of you guys calls them. Urinals are designed for cis men and if a bathroom has only one or two cubicles, that means queuing. I don't know about anyone else but I would want to be in and out of the bathroom as fast as possible before anyone notices I'm not a guy (well, physically). Although family rooms and disabled toilets are a 'gender neutral' alternative, I don't think that they are really the answer because sometimes disabled toilets are locked and only accessible to people who are genuinely disabled. Plus again there is queuing because there's only the one bathroom. Does anyone else think that the concept of public bathrooms needs reinventing and if so, how would you change them?
My Local hospital complex has the right idea I think... each Toilet has it's own sink, diaper changing area, etc and is it's own room. none are designated by gender, all are handicap accessible, they normally have 4 per section, and there is like 6 sections per floor, by the "cafe" there is a big area designated to these "rooms" like a mall bathroom area. Anybody can use any room, no questions asked, regardless of disability, orientation & gender identity
If it matters at all anonym, I have found that while mens toilets certainly have less cubicle, I tend not to see that many people using them...not to mention it's not like the mens public toilets are 'the place' to hang out or something, everyone just goes in, goes out and is done with it... Frankly I could probably walk in as a woman and nobody would say anything. Hell nobody said anything when I inadvertently used the womens toilets and walked out into a crowd of girls - I should not at this point I had a full beard at that time.
I've only just begun transitioning, so the idea of trying to use the men's toilet's terrifies me. Luckily I work at a hospital and there's a lot of toilets dotted about the place that are unspecified. As for elsewhere, I guess I'd have to use the women's. I definitely don't pass at the moment so there isn't much choice in the matter :/
I went to a queer youth conference back in May. Now, this was before I'd officially come out, so gendered bathrooms wouldn't have been as big as an issue in general- just a personal comfort issue as opposed to being worried about how I'd be perceived. But anyway. This conference was taking place at a high school. All the bathrooms, regardless of whatever they'd been previously, were cleared as gender neutral for the whole event. So basically, any gender could walk into any room. And it was awesome. I could've pissed at a urinal while wearing a prom dress. It wasn't some degerate sex filled bathroom either- you went in to piss and that was that. Honestly, I'd love to see if a concept like that could work on a wider scale.
I agree, it isn't right. I hope things can change someday soon, but for now I offer only how I know to deal with what it is today. That sounds totally awesome! I'd love to go to such an event myself. Or better yet, see that idea on a larger scale like you said.
