Need some advice - Yes it's a case of is or isn't he but I could do with some help :)

Re: Need some advice - Yes it's a case of is or isn't he but I could do with some hel

Ah, sorting out who's gay and straight in high school. It's such a pressured environment, there's usually little way to get a straight (pardon the pun) answer out of someone.

So when it comes down to it, you could look at hundreds of little "signs" that he's gay, and he could turn out straight. Or there could be hundreds of signs that he's straight (hitting on girls, etc), and yet he turns out gay. People are complicated, and their behavior is often not only not representative of who they actually are, but can often be the opposite of who they are inside. People are constantly trying to modulate themselves to what others expect of them, you often simply end up seeing what you want to.

From my experience, it's best not to speculate on a person's sexuality or feelings for you based on their outward behavior. It can very easily lead to disappointment, or missing a potential opportunity. So instead, I would just spend more time with him. Get to know him more on a friend basis. Try to spend as much time alone with him as possible, invite him over to play video games. Try light flirting if he doesn't seem uncomfortable with it (though don't assume that just because he responds, that he likes you or is even gay. A lot of straight people will unconsciously return flirtatious behavior, even with other guys, hence all of the "straight crush" threads here).

Once you're comfortable around each other, I would try broaching the subject of your sexuality. Most people do it by bringing up gay marriage, or some other element of the subject, and just segueing into saying "Yeah, I consider myself to be lesbian/gay/bisexual/pastasexual". If you come out, if he is gay, he'll likely take the opportunity to come out to you as well, though he could still be too surprised/overwhelmed to do it in that moment, so you might just get a confused/quiet response at first, but he'll probably eventually get around to telling you (probably over text later ). If he responds confidently in a warm, supportive way, but doesn't mention his sexuality, he's probably straight.

 

Re: Need some advice - Yes it's a case of is or isn't he but I could do with some hel

Yeah, just keep talking to him and become closer friends until you can tell for sure

 

Re: Need some advice - Yes it's a case of is or isn't he but I could do with some hel

(speculation based on info provided)
Well it could be that he's curious/possibly into guys, likes you but is very self-conscious of letting anyone else know he's into guys at this point. Maybe he doesn't even realize it at this point. In case he's at this point in his "evolution" don't try to force him out, he may reject it, reject you, not a good idea at any rate.

Or he's just a str8 dude who is more comfortable in small groups and acts more reserved in larger groups.

 

Re: Need some advice - Yes it's a case of is or isn't he but I could do with some hel

Again I would not speculate on his feelings towards you based on fairly neutral passive behaviors. The fact that he doesn't talk to you as much in public could mean any number of things. Maybe he's just more of an introverted guy, and stiffens up in groups. Maybe he's not feel uncomfortable at all and is just quiet. Maybe he wasn't feeling well. Maybe something was on his mind.

No matter what I get the impression you've only just yet. Since you have a crush on him, the times you spend together are going to seem super special, and the times not together super anxious. He may still just consider you a new friend. Either way, you're just speculating and could just as easily be wrong. So I would just avoid getting to worked up about behavioral patterns at this point, you'll drive yourself crazy. Just keep talking to him and most importantly, being a fun guy to be around.

 

Re: Need some advice - Yes it's a case of is or isn't he but I could do with some hel

I was in the same situation but I approached him and we became friends, and we hung out and then I came out to him after 2 months of meeting him, then he comes out to me a month later that he's bi... So I've known this guy for 3 months now, and we've went hungout outside school 3 times now, I see him at school everyday haha. Now I'm just trying to figure out if he likes me or not.

 

Re: Need some advice - Yes it's a case of is or isn't he but I could do with some hel

Like I said, the signals are pretty weak and although they could mean something, they also just as likely might not. Either way, the only way forward is to approach him and start with conversations. As you get to know each other, you'll get a better idea of how he feels towards you and can proceed from there.