What are you thinking?

At school one day: I can tell my parents I'm gay, I can tell my parents I'm gay, I can tell my parents I'm gay.

At home same day: ._. Maybe tomorrow.

(repeat for basically 6 months)

 

Don't worry, don't feel pressured to come out. Come out when you feel ready to. If you need any advice, I along with other members would more than like to help.

And Bryan there is an amazing guy out there that is just dying to meet you, I'm sure of it.

 

Happy Valentines Day EC

 

I am thinking that I play a TON of candy crush!!!

 

Good: Working on a new book for a week

Bad: Realizing everything you wrote sucks

Better: Getting struck with how to make it better

 

Finally bought all those snickerdoodles that I owe Pearson.
I'll have to give them to him on Valentine's Day.
Awkward, considering that I'm not interested in him.
Eh.

 

This morning when I woke up, I thought to myself: "Yesss! Saturday!" ... Only to find that it's only Friday, and "Get-all-stupid-day" at that :bang: :dry:

Got a bunch of flowers from a colleague. Ugh, I really didn't want to be reminded of this stupid day.:dry: Now my day at work is going to suck even more. Weekend, weekend, where for art thou weekend?!...:eusa_doh:

 

Someone wrote me a card for Valentine's Day
I'm still surprised. It is the first thing I've ever received for this occasion.

 

I just started crying really hard because I don't have many books. What the fuck is wrong with me. Why am I such an over-emotional fuckwad?

 

So there was this guy in my writing class. I was all "oh, he's probably FtM, that's awesome- another guy like me." See, the guy had an exotic name, looked like he might've been pre- or early T, passed a hell of a lot better than me. I got put in a peer review group with this guy, hoping to hit it off.

As it turned out, she was a butch lesbian. And we never hit it off- seriously, couldn't relate. Nothing in common- she's a stepmother, I'm a young guy, no common ground. Most awkward peer review session I've ever had.

And this is next to the one I had on Tuesday, where I was slotted with another (kind of good looking guy), he (accidentally) misgendered me (was good about right pronouns when I brought it up though) and I fucking giggled like a twelve year old girl.

 

It's not always obvious, either, as there was one friend of a friend I assumed to be "just" an androgynous lesbian, but they also had a male nickname and had a picture of a woman looking into a mirror, with a man looking back in their reflection. Then there have been gay men who seriously blurred the lines between cis and trans, with make up, female clothing, and femme mannerisms.

Add the fact that plenty of trans men and women come from LGB subcultures and communities like butch or drag queen, and that further complicates things. I'd like to think I could tell them apart most of the time, but that's not always possible, and in those cases, I'll either wait for the "answers" to slip out, or if I'm really curious, bluntly ask when it's comfortable.

If nothing else, you're both into women? Even if those women happen to be of different sexualities and look for different things in a partner. I can definitely relate to working with a good looking classmate, and it always seems to be the popular, laid back guy who is very successful with the ladies. They probably seduce people all the time and aren't even aware of it. :lol:

 

Lets me know if you love candy crush.

So I wanted to make an entry however after reading the person above me saying they make it through morning to they keep WaNTINg to come out and you just keep thinking it will happen, and then the afternoon nothing in the end it's been six months it just seems really rough and makes me sad.

So good night. I just hope that I can actually sleep.

Last question if you cannot really sleep would you see your primary care doctor to get meds or to get referred to maybe Get meds??

 

As far as I know, a regular GP can prescribe sleeping tablets

 

Yeah, see. I like to think I'm good at "knowing" but see above. A lot of butch lesbians honestly look like they could pass for male, and a lot of them pass a hell of a lot better than I do now. :lol: Would it be awkward to ask them how they do it?

She was kind of, abrasive honestly. Like, it's so easy to tell with people when you know they think you're not worth their time. But I do prefer people who don't keep a stick up their butt.

I want to know their secret, lol. Hard not to like a guy like that, I admit I'm mad jealous.

 

Anyone know a good method of fixing a 2-dimensional combination lock to a piece of cardboard?
I need to make a file. It's currently falling apart. :dry:

 

I can't get shit done.

 

It's raining, but it's still too hot to fall asleep. I can't wait until autumn.

 

Going to have one less piercing soon, upset

 

Not having many books is a serious matter..... ;___;

 

Debating whether or not I want a cup of coffee or a cup of tea.....decisions decisions....