am I butch or am I FTM

Hi

Well, it's not too easy for me to say (I'm not an expert when it comes to transgender etc.) but I'll try to help you even though.

You say that you really like wearing boy clothes and think that it would be cool to pee like a guy but on the other hand you felt offended being called "him" instead of "her".

You also say that you would switch boobs any day and would like to have a male body and thought about being a guy who kisses a girl.

Maybe there could be signs of being transgender (there are also transgender who don't transition when it comes to their bodies etc.)

I also would like to have more muscles like a guy and I like it that I have more slim hips than other women instead of being really curvy etc. but I don't think that I would want to have my breasts and genitals removed. (I don't actually identify as transgender) and I think I could miss being a woman (and my long hair) and don't think that it would feel totally right being a guy for the rest of my life...

I think an important thing to do is to ask yourself who you are inside. Do you want to live the rest of your life as a guy or a girl? Try to imagine it and how you feel about it. Does it feel right or are you being very happy thinking about it?

Maybe you should think about that before you'll go further.

It is important that YOU feel good, not other people around you who expect you to be like they want you to be.

 

OP: Lucky you; you're definitely butch.
You do not have the definite trait of being transgender- gender dysphoria.
I.e., you are fine with being female. The parts where you imagine yourself as a guy? Probably fantasies.
I think the reason you are upset is because people made fun of you for the way you dressed.
If you don't like your tits, use a chest binder. There are methods for girls to pee standing up; you could learn how (since you do not want a penis, the "stand to pee device" wouldn't be a viable option).

 

I think i have a similar issue as you, supermanfit.

So I'm pretty sure I'm gay and not trans. Yet I've always kinda wanted to be one of the guys ever since I was little. I used to dress as boyish and possible and try to be one of the guys so that the girls would like me or think I'm cute.

Currently I dress a lot more feminine than I'd like, due to the clothes I've been given and budget constraints. I have this dream style of being rather androgynous and I crack up at being mistaken for a guy sometimes.

I prefer male clothing at times, especially things that conceal what little hips I have. I don't like my breasts most of the time and wish they were smaller, but I don't like male private parts. If I could get most of my breasts removed, I would. If I could go shirtless in the summer and not have people bat an eyelash, I would. If I could have bigger muscles and be stronger!

I don't prefer labels, but sometimes they are helpful in getting an inkling of what I'm dealing with. But yeah, I do agree with some of the previous responses. Just be yourself and who cares what label people try to put on you? Does the label really matter so long as you are comfortable with yourself?

 

I don't think it's for us to say one way or the other how you identify. You could easily be trans* and not FtM, look into gender queer, androgynous, and other non-binary identities and see how those feel. Also, one thing that has helped me is to imaging myself on a deserted island, not another soul around, how would you want to look? Also, though this one is wicked dorky and only makes sense if you've seen the Matrix. When they re-enter the matrix and are in the weapons computer program, part of the program is that it projects your mental image of yourself on the outside, however you look in your head is what everyone see's. If you could step into that program how would you look? Dorky but effective hope this helps.

 

Don't worry, once you will be adult, no one will give you any looks. There are lots of women who don't wear skirts for example and nobody is bothered or thinks that it is weird.

 

I define transgender as anyone who feels an incongruity between the gender they were assigned at birth and the gender they mentally feel themselves to be. Anyone who feels dysphoria, whether social, physical, or both, is likely trans*. Social confidence comes from self confidence and self confidence comes from being comfortable in your own identity. The only way that I can see for you to combat the fear is to step back, take some time for yourself, and do some self discovery. Write everything down, what makes you uncomfortable, angry, happy, afraid, etc. and when it comes up. Try to think of what gender expression, name, clothing, etc. that makes YOU the most comfortable, forget about what makes everyone else comfortable, what makes you feel good. And most importantly it's ok not to know. As for feeling afraid for being butch, is there anyone you know or anywhere you can go (discussion group, pflag meeting etc.) that would be accepting? It seems that your current situation with your family is causing a lot of your discomfort and having a place (even on an online forum like ec) where you can test what feels comfortable with your self expression, without judgement, would help.