Lesbians that have sex with men ?

Well , recently I came out to my cousin as a lesbian because she complained about lesbians hitting on her and post a homophobic shitty status on FB . I did that because I couldn't make her understand a thing about bisexuality and all . I just wanna make her understand homo people can be anyone around her , that those girls are not disgusting just because they had a crush on her . She's hella homophobic so I just ended up telling her that I'm a lesbian and next time if she wanna say homophobic shit , don't say it in front of me . However I still identify myself as a bisexual . I don't get the idea of still identifying as lesbian while enjoy having sex with men but maybe they have a reason to do that . Just like me .

 

But what about straight girls who make out with lesbians and "kissed a girl and liked it" thing goes on and on? I even know few straight girls who enjoy sex with girls and they are straight. And nobody says them that they are bisexual or something. I just noticed if a di*k is involved, person's orientation changes... I just don't get it

 

Well, I don't know about everyone else, but I certainly don't give straight women who sleep with women a pass. I think they're just as bad as the 'lesbians' who seek and enjoy straight sex.

 

For the most part I wouldn't consider those girls to be straight either...Especially if they constantly seek it out and enjoy it because that isn't what being straight means.

It just makes no sense. Like I said before, going around and seeking out/enjoying sex with men while calling yourself a lesbian, is like going around seeking out casual sex and calling yourself a virgin because it wasn't 'intimate' enough yet. That's how I see it.

 

But a lot of people are okay with them being straight even throught they make-out with other girls.. it seems like in our society what a girl does is not taken seriously.

 

That's because lesbian relationships and sex are seen as inferior and less serious than straight ones.

 

I agree with you . It's what pissed me off . I had many guys telling me that there is no such thing as a relationship or sex between 2 girls . They said i should wake up or something like that and seek for a real relationship with a guy , and let him make the woman out of me . Seriously I tried damn hard to not laugh at their face . *sigh* .

 

That's the funniest thing I heard today

 

Yeah that may be so in your eyes and others and I'm cool with that. A truth for me still remains that someone can call themselves whatever they want, live their life how they want and it doesn't make them actually insane--you just think they're insane. Your perception of someone isn't a fact about them, so it is my belief that they shouldn't have to go out of their way to be a person you don't perceive to be insane. It's not their problem that you see them that way. It's not my problem that you think of me this way, which is why I'm not angry or anything. I don't have to prove to you that I'm not insane and childish. I can only state what I think about the topic at hand and you'll feel about it however you feel about it. Sooo, I don't believe it's necessary get on a person's case and try to regulate their life in anyway just because they're doing things I wouldn't do or don't fully understand. I just don't see the point in all the fuss over what someone does and the decisions they make in their personal life. Isn't this what the community is always asking straight people not to do? And yet, you all are doing the same thing to each other. Feels like a pointless waste of time and energy and appears through my eyes very arrogant and judgmental. At the same time, I'm not surprised this is happening because this is human nature. The second the common enemy is gone, the united start turning on each other because someone has to be wrong so someone can be right, someone has to be a villain so someone can be righteous. It happens in all communities, with all sorts of people. When my race isn't united against white people, they're yelling at each other over who's amount of melanin makes them more "real." And when this community isn't united against straight people, they're yelling at each other over who's being "true." I shouldn't be so broad and say you're all being judgmental, so I recant that and say, this just doesn't look very good in my eyes. A lot of you are coming off judgmental. It's not nice and I feel it's a waste of your time. But you are free to spend your time doing what you like, so for you, it may not be a waste at all. Anyway, I just wanted to add this perspective, however of a minority it will be, to the thread. Go on with your arguing.

 

That's why I list myself on here as bi, because I do enjoy having sex with my guy. I haven't come out to my homophobic parents yet as a bi though, because I've already went through hell when I came out to them once as a lesbian. I don't know how I'm going to explain this to them. If I say I'm with a guy at the moment, they're going to think they've prayed the gay out of me or something. Trying to explain being bi to them is going to be a challenge.

 

I feel a bit worried about all of this. For a community that's supposed to be all about self-expression, self-love, and all-around acceptance, we sure can be as harsh and judgmental as the homo-haters here in the deep south.

I just feel as if it's a bit hypocritical for the LGBTQ community to preach the whole "finding yourself" gig, then turn around and say "Hey, you're not really a homo because you enjoy a highly sensual and arousing act with someone that isn't the same sex! Liar!"

I actually have an online friend who is technically asexual but classifies herself as a lesbian because she only ever develops romantic feeling for women. But she doesn't have sex. Does that mean she's a "fake" lesbian? Should we look down on her for something she can't help, and be all like "FOOL YOU WRONG."? Shouldn't we just generally be supportive, or are we just gonna go around saying:

"Nope, you're not gay because you don't fit MY definition. But here, have a cardboard consolation box. I even labelled it for you, though that was mostly for my own piece of mind. I figured you could use it as a shelter, y'know, since you've been outcast by both the straight and gay community and all."

Of course, that's just my measly take on this situation.

 

And what exactly is the point of even having the human language if you just choose to decide what a word means for your own benefit?

I could also label myself a unicorn or a goddess because I felt like it, but it doesn't make it true. I could call myself thin, because I don't like being clinically overweight, but it doesn't make it true.

And so on and so forth...

 

Lol...You hit the nail on the head. Any "lesbian" that continually seeks out men for sex PLEASE tell whatever woman you want to date about this. This is one of the most common ways females who have sex with females *exclusively* get STI and STD's. I know for a fact that I would NEVER date a woman who occasionally has sex with men just for the hell of it. What a turn off!

 

With certain things what is "True" is not a matter of fact, but of feeling. You are all talking about identity, right? This community has established a person's identity is up to them. So why are you, people of this community, trying to regulate and put guidelines on the very thing you said was up to the indiviual? "Be free, express yourself! But within these perimeters." Do you see the contradiction? I'm called insane and childish because I'm saying people can do whatever they want...but is that not true? People are free to do whatever they want in this situation because it's all subjective and personal.

You are arguing over words. Words that people made up and continue to make up for their own benefit. The whole reason language was invented and expanded is for people's benefit, to use as they see fit, so that actually is its very purpose and people have the right by ability to continue to use and invent words in this way even though there are already established terminology out there. That's why pansexual and demi-sexual and bi-romantic exist today. Because people made them up to use for their own comfort. I could say to those people "oh that's silly, just call yourself this because it already exists, it's basically the same thing" if that's how I feel, but if that's not how the person feels then they don't have to do it and I choose to respect that and not throw a fit over it because that would make me an unnecessary asshole. Furthermore, people have the right by ability to feel strongly or not feel strongly about words and their meanings. People can choose what things mean to them personally and to what degree they matter for their own life. Their feelings on the same subject may differ from yours, but that doesn't make you right and them wrong or vice versa. Accepting differences. Isn't that was the rainbow supposed to be about? Supposed to, yes, but we're all human at the end of the day and some people just have to take things to the ugly place this is right now.

What I feel is what is one person's truth doesn't have to another's. For instance, there are people who believe they are vampires. They get the false teeth in, do blood stuff, form clubs with other vamps, the whole nine. I don't think they're real vampires, but that's because my definition of a real vampire is different from the one they've made for themselves. And we can argue back and forth that my definition is the real thing and theirs isn't, but my definition is just as made up as theirs, only mine has been established as a "fact" based on it's acceptance by the masses as "This is what that is." Ultimately, it does me no good to argue with them and scream at them that they're not vampires because what does their vampiric lifestyle doing to my life? Nothing. Let them be vampires how they want to be vampires. Let a girl call herself a lesbian and don't worry about who she enjoys having sex with while carrying a certain label. You're always telling the mean straight people don't worry about what goes on in your bedroom, yet here you are doing the same thing to each other. That's just bullshit. Sorry, not sorry.

Basically, you guys are trying to tell people how to live. You're telling people they can't live how they want. You're creating an environment that perpetuates living for other people when this community preaches the opposite sentiment. And you feel justified in doing that because you're all of the community, knowing good and damn well that when straight people say anything akin to this, you flip a shit like no other. So the lesson is not to live for people not to live for themselves, be their own person, no no, it's really be X kind of person for you? Do I have that right? "Yeah come into our open, safe place so we can scrutinize and criticize everything you do and say, if it doesn't fit our agreed upon definition of normal. It's not right for them to judge you, but we can because we're on this side of the room." <---That is what it feels like is happening here. You guys are mobbing up over shit that doesn't concern you. You're trying to make a case out of it like it does so you have a platform on which to judge people because it's in human nature to create exclusiveness and villainize just as much as it is in human nature to do the opposite. Right now the lot of you are doing the former and it's not cute. You look mean and worse, hypocritical because you're trying to justify being judgmental and regulating people's lives just like bigots try to do with their arsenal of reasons. If you feel you're not doing any of that, I can accept that. That is how it looks though, is what I'm saying. This is how you're coming off and it's just two-faced to preach and promote inclusiveness and acceptance out of one side of your face and then behind closed rainbows tear each other down and shame people over the very differences you were just defending to outsiders.

---------- Post added 22nd Apr 2014 at 05:48 PM ----------

:rolle: And here is the arrogance I was talking about. So you wouldn't date them, so what? There are obviously people who would, so you not being interested isn't a punishment that certain women have to save themselves from. Ooh ladies, you better redeem yourself or some chick is gonna think horrible things about you and not go out with you. Aww, they're so sad now. Your opinion matters so much they now have to change their ways and live how you want them to, so some random person might have a nice thought about them, a thought that doesn't have any effect on their lives whether it's good or bad.

 

Um...this is like a FORUM?? Thenpiint of a forum is to discuss ideas??? Not necessarily to agree with people. We get that. But through conversations like this, sometimes people can form their own character and decide for themselves how they want to go about life. I mean... Seriously? If you didn't give a damn, why do you care to explain something that we kinda already knew ?? Oh the butthurt of people who can't discuss a simple topic....

 

Yes it is a forum. Yes that is the point of them. And forming my character, etc is what I'm doing also. A forum is also a place where I can call something dumb if I feel so inclined. As far as saying things people already knew, well I have no way of knowing that people already know anything. I only know what people present and respond to it.

Now is your response about asking me why I said who gives a fuck when clearly everyone on the thread gives a fuck about the issue? My answer to that is to add the point of view of someone who doesn't. The manner in which I gave my first post (the one quoted), if the rudeness of it is what you're taking issue with or don't understand, was an emotional one. I started out giving my thought on the whole existence of the thread itself because I saw some people being jerks about the subject, that made me angry. The post you quoted is a manifestation of that anger and frustration, it's how I felt like responding in the moment. In my further posts I participate in the forum accordingly and explain my point of view a little better, less brashly, if you want to check those out. So, I'm not so butthurt that I can't discuss a simple topic. I just didn't like with what I was reading at first and wished it wasn't a discussion at all initially, so that the mean things I was reading wouldn't be there. But they are, I accepted that, calmed down, and went on to discuss the subject at hand and my feelings on what the existence of this thread means to me, how I perceive it. Which is something I can do in a forum, too, right? Now that I have discussed and explained my actual thoughts on the subject along with everyone else, do you have anything to add to those thoughts?

 

Yeah, I might add...

Calm down and
Listen to PJ Harvey

People might be jerks but don't sink down to their level. Oh well. At the end of the day they will believe in what they do and good news is that, like you said, it won't affect you regardless...

 

Sure, and their own perception about themselves isn't a fact about them either.

Don't you see the contradiction? If everyone calls themselves whatever they want - words lose meaning. Ok, you say a woman can blow guys and still ''proudly'' call herself a lesbian. Sure. Can she blow more guys than she sleeps with women? And why can't a woman who only likes men call herself a lesbian? Yes, of course she can - you'll say. Because she is, if she sees herself as one. And why not a man too? Surely, a man too can call himself a lesbian - after all he is sleeping with women. Or maybe men. Or who cares, it doesn't matter! Next time when you speak of lesbians, please don't exclude lesbian men and lesbians who are only attracted to men. Don't be judgmental! Who are you to say they're not?

 

Words don't lose meaning just because people create their own for their own comfort and happiness. Meaning still exists, the levels are just different. Everyone doesn't have to feel the same level of importance about something for it to be valid. There was a thread way back when someone was iffy about some straight guy calling himself "queer" and I had the same thoughts about that. So what? Words, hell anything really, doesn't lose its meaning and importance to you just because they might not mean much to others. If you think they do, then you must also think that Christianity means nothing because atheists exist. Is this true? No, of course not because there are people who hold God dear in their hearts while some people think it's utter bullshit. The latter people thinking it's bullshit doesn't have to affect the person holding God in their heart if they don't let it because God stills means something to them--the reverse goes for atheists--and that's all that matters. So yes, I am saying that a man can call himself a lesbian and I wouldn't have a problem with it. I wouldn't get angry about it or feel put upon because I don't feel that I own the word just because I'm a girl who likes girls. Honestly, I'll just end up repeating myself, so there's really nothing more I can say except I just do not agree with fuss over this. I don't like it and it feels mean to me and contradictory to the whole "be yourself" routine this community is always pushing. My point's been made and my goal wasn't to change your mind or make you think/feel what I do, so I won't argue with you. You and others obviously feel very strongly about this in different direction than myself and that's fine. Your label, your word is very important to you and you don't want anyone treating in a way you find personally disrespectful. Understood. I accept that your feelings are your feelings on this matter. I've presented my point of view on the subject and this whole situation, so now I'm done. Thanks for the chat. Have a nice day.

 

All right Willow. Way to end it. this may be one community, but even i had to come to learn that the gay community as a whole and then the branches have different colors and shades to chose from, as you can see. So we don't all have to agree. It works out in the end, when we need to stick together, we do. Trivial little things that make us unique I wouldn't say threaten the fabric of who we are as humans with thoughts and feelings and ego coming together to achieve the ultimate goal which is to find acceptance for ourselves.