Dano218, I never said people could not be healthy at an older age, I was only pointing out the phrase itself compares something real versus something imaginary. Age is not just a number. (0),1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, these are the only numbers all others are just combinations of numbers. Once a number or combination of numbers is used to describe something: 10 apples, 25 years, 9 messages, 0.0001 chance of occurence, these become tangible and real. Infinity and 0 are imaginary but that is it so if it were possible to have an age of 0 or infinity then the saying would be proven correct. Sorry to Gingerblond93 for the combative response in the thread.
Dano218: It has to do with the saying "age is just a number" being an inaccurate portrayal of something real as something imaginary. Thus the phrase should be viewed as an invalid statement, and as such not advice that is useful. It was assumed the reader would make an intuitive leap to understand. Sorry for not clarifying. I also assumed you would understand I was rebutting your statement that my "argument was dead wrong." My argument is indeed valid, and the logic has been explained. Getting back to the point of the thread, I gave advice I thought would be useful answering the question presented in the initial thread and added a logical analytic that I thought would insight thought processes to help with the situation at hand. It was not meant to start a debate with another person posting.
Gingerincloset, thank you very much for your well thought-out and kind response to my message. See Dano218 and I are both dating older men and when you love someone you tend to defend them, even when statistical research is in front of you. However, let me try to answer your questions. As you stated my relationship with my family and with my partner is not one dimensional, black and white. It's far more complicated than I could write in one posting. With my parents, my father and mother are very different from each other. My mother, tends to be very narrow minded and very set in her ways. For example, if she is following a map, she will follow that map even if the road's have changed. If you try to tell her there is now a cliff up ahead, she will argue back and say "I'm following that map, I'm committed to the way of the map" and blindly ignore the danger up front and drive right over the cliff. My dad on the other hand is much more open minded and if he see's an alternative or different option he will analyze it and alter course. Needless to say, my parents divorced many years ago. I've been living with my dad since I was 15 full time, as I could not deal with my mother. My younger brother also lives with me and my dad full time and my sister goes between both houses. My mother has through most of my life made anti gay comments, and I remember he saying that gay people should not be allowed to be teachers, get married, etc... Now my dad has friends who are gay and supports gay rights and marriage and speaks of this openly. When he questioned me on my sexuality last summer, he told me he would love me regardless. However, I just froze and I lied to him and sometimes I feel bad that I lied to him. I think the reason I was not open with him is that although my relationship with my dad would be fine with me coming out the closet, I feel my relationship with my mother would be seriously strained and most likely even non-existent. My partner is also in the closet and he has not put pressure of any kind on me to come out, as it would also mean he would have to come out with me, as my lover. He said he is not afraid to come out and will only do it when I am ready, considering he is not facing the same family constraints. My partner and I have discussed long term and the age issue, as time goes by. And yes he is in his 30's, he works out five days a week, takes really good care of himself and is in amazing shape. Energy wise he can easily keep up with me and sometimes he out do me. I know if we were to get married when he is 80, I will be 62 and for some-reason the age difference to me does not seem that bad. And unless he or I are struck by an unforeseen illness, which can happen at any age, I think he will always be a healthy and vibrant man as he is today. At this point, I don't want to hide any-longer who I am and who I love. I'm pretty sure my dad will be there for me, support me and even my younger brother and sister. But I feel my mother will have a major melt down and shut me out. And I know she will blame my dad and say that he made me gay. Anything that goes wrong is always his fault in her eyes.
Thanks I understand that point of view better like the OP has said you tend to get defensive when you are in love and people criticize that relationship.
Gingerblond93, I wish you luck in all this. I definitely think you need to come out to your family, as you can't hide your feelings forever. It sounds as though you really love your boyfriend, and if that's the case, the age difference shouldn't matter. I only hope that your mother won't take it so hard.
