I know how cliché this may sound, but I'm really lonely. I go through each day miserable and unhappy. I do play it off as though I'm happy and I play around a lot, but the truth is I am slowly dying on the inside. I can already see the comments "it's ok, just wait a bit, you'll find someone". That's sweet and all, but i have honestly heard it too much. Granted my mom doesn't want me to be committed in any relationship, neither does she want me to come out. I have posted before about wanting to come out, but I am unsure on what to do. I used to be suicidal in my early teens when I tried denying my homosexuality and tried multiple times to off myself. Those thoughts are beginning to return and I sit depressed at night thinking of all the reasons why I'm absolutely flawed. I feel miserable and alone. I'm not saying that getting a boyfriend will fix this, but I just feel like it's a start. I keep trying to keep control of my grades so I don't cause any attention to myself (I have an unfortunate status of being "very intelligent"). I just don't know where to turn. I feel like I have everything I want as far as materials, I have a job and I don't feel greedy towards getting new things, I just simply wait it out until I get it and that's that. Sorry for the super long post, but I just need to vent. I'm sorry to say this, but I hate being gay sometimes. :bang: :icon_sad: :icon_redf :tears::tantrum: :eusa_doh: :***:
I feel you bro, I encourage you to join youth groups, volunteering or sport, basically have another focus other than studies. It will give you the opportunity to make new friends and get new skills! Take it a day at a time, and vent here if possible! You're way too good-looking to die young! so don't go there!
Hi there, I will say this I do not have much experience with dating or sex in general. I am highlyn intelligent just like you. I also have an over protective mother. She also didn't want me having relationships in high school. I am 33 and I am a virgin. The only advantage you have is that you discovered who you early and if it is who you truly are you should begin to appreciate it. It took me 21 years to figure out that I might be a transgender female but it took me a very long to come to terms with it. At least at your age you know who you are. When it comes to being lonely just look for the right people to be friends with. If your in high school still and u feel like one of the nerds like myself u should seek other nerds to hang with like I did. Fortunately for me I have lots of people in my family that look up to me which is my motivation to not commit suicide. I do have a very important question what aspirations do you for the future that will motivate you not to commit suicide? I know it must be really difficult but you have us to support you in your endeavors.
Hi there. (*hug*) I know exactly how you're feeling. If it would help, try making new friends. Options to help you include joining school activities, community groups, etc., etc., etc. Also, try to get to know your classmates better. I do realize your mom doesn't want you to tell anybody that you're Gay. But if it would help you feel more comfortable in school around your closest friends, go ahead and come out to them. I do realize that you are not doing what your mom said, but it does take a load off your back, knowing you have friends that care about you and support you. Just make sure that they don't tell anybody and your mkm doesn't find out. I hope this helps. :smilewave
