When two guys or girls marry who takes on whose surname ?

Out of curiosity: I noticed you're bisexual. Why only get your name hyphenated with a guy, not when you marry a girl?

 

In Western societies, the woman traditionally takes the man's last name, and it's very rare that it's the other way around.

 

This is something I've always been curious about. Even though I'm fairly steadfastly against the idea of getting married, for the sake of this conversation I think I would never outright drop my name and take somebody else's. And I would probably only hyphenate if I liked the other person's surname and it sounded good when paired with mine.

 

Yeah, but we should be able to move beyond that sort of shit. I mean, it may be better to abandon the concept of giving up a name (unless you hate yours, like me), but then there would be the inevitable argument over which name the child got - and in the case of heterosexual couples, that may well end up being the man's which is just another form of sexism. You could hyphenate, but then the you'd start getting quadruple names, which is ridiculous.

 

Rachel Maddow explains how married women's change of name is being used to prevent them from voting in Texas:

[youtube]6SOhqnvoD0A[/youtube]

 

I know, we have the same tradition in the Netherlands. I just think it's weird that, in that tradition, men seem to be more important than women. And guys usually keep their own name. So if you're going to hyphenate and use two names in a m/m relation, alraedy breaking the 'be a guy keep your name' tradition, why not do that regardless of gender?

But like I already stated, I'm not into the tradition of taking on a name anyway.

 

I want her to have mine. If not, then I at least want the same last name as her, and I want our kids to have our last name.

 

I guess it depends on values. I personally would want to change my last name therefore emphasizing the fact that we wouldnt be just gf and gf but rather a family.

 

Whoever I marry, girl or guy, I honestly would want to take their last name (I have a really long last name that is hard to pronounce)

 

I'd say take each others last name. Add a hyphen to your last name and then your partners last name. Each name would still be unique because of the order!

 

Hyphenated is probably the way I would go.

We could just come up with a whole new last name though. Skywalker would be cool, at least for a laugh

 

Here we can choose to keep our own name, to take on our partners name or to get one of those double barrelled ones

 

This. It's important to me that my future wife and kids and I share the same last name, hers or mine, I'm not that bothered. Its that we have the same name that is important to me not whos name it is.