Every time I see a lesbian couple in public (at work, at the grocery store, at a bar, around town) I think to myself "I want that" and I feel jealous. I have been currently identifying myself as bi but I wonder if I'm a lesbian. I've been in a relationship with a guy for over a year now. We live together and honestly...I'm over him. I want to break up with him but I can't wrap my head around even handling that situation. I just can't at the moment, plus he has a whole set of emotional issues that I would only add to by complicating his life further. He knows I like girls, we've talked about it before, but he doesn't know that I get jealous of out lesbians couples I see (even when we're together) or that I check girls out on a daily basis (there's a lot of cute girls in my town...). I never enjoy sex with him unless I'm thinking about girls or drunk. I think the whole being jealous of lesbian couples thing is a sort of a manifestation of my frustration with my current relationship. I don't know if it means I'm actually gay or if I just want something different for now. I've not yet been in a serious relationship with a girl but I find myself wanting to. Whenever I finally break up with him, should I tell him I think I want to date girls, or should I just let the breakup happen without talking to him about it, in an attempt to spare his feelings?
Honestly? I think your best bet is to tell the truth. I was with a guy for about a year and a half maybe before I really realized that most signs pointed to lesbian for me. So I told him the truth, that I thought I was probably gay and had to leave to find out who I am. He was real sad, but he knew he had to let me go. What else could he do, y'know? Making up another reason is not only dishonest, it's not going to spare his feelings. He's going to be upset either way--and he has a right to be sad, but at least this way he knows you're telling the truth and that it's not his fault.
You should definitely tell him, the last thing you want to do is to continue the relationship only to end up resenting him and never getting what your heart really desires which sounds like it would be a relationship with a woman.
Tell him. He would understand better how do you feel and why your relationship is not working, he would see that it is not his fault, that now you have to continue growing and find who you are. I wish you good luck!
To me it sounds like you are much more into chicks. I don't think sexuality is black and white. I prefer the kinsey scale. Either way, you should be straight up about the situation. Stop the misery and dump him already. You are not obligated to tell him your plans after him...isn't that a bit awkward? As for your uncertainty, have you always been into chicks or has it just started/more prevalent during this relationship? Remember sexuality is fluid.
