HELP ME! This is my last option!!!

You're still reasonably young and you've got a lot ahead of you. I think you should take it slow, that's my biggest advice for you. You could first try and see where your eyes wonder off to when you're walking down the street and check someone out without realizing, is it towards men or women? Maybe you could try meeting someone who is gay, have a friend who is gay, and if you feel comfortable maybe you could experiment. It all takes time unfortunately and no one could give you an 100% accurate answer, it's all guesswork at the moment. Good luck

 

^this is almost exactly what I was thinking. It does take time and you'll figure it out in time. The best thing is (as silly as this might seem) to try not to worry about it too much. Think about it and try to find your answers but try not to obsess. We're here for any questions you have (*hug*)

 

I guess . . . keep your mind open and don't worry about the results?

Maybe you're gay. Maybe your bi. Maybe you're straight. Those could all be true. Maybe.

What's 100% true, for sure, is that you're 16, and it's pretty rare for people to be certain about their sexuality at that age. So you can torture yourself over not "figuring it out," or you can surrender to the fact that it's a process and that you'll learn with time.

And you will learn. Know what the difference is between you and the 40 year-old guys who are still not sure? You have a 24 year headstart. Those guys grew up in an era where being gay or even bi could result in some pretty terrible things, so they had no option to explore themselves. You do.

So just have faith in yourself. You seem like a guy who's willing to put his head into figuring things out, so just trust that you will and don't try to force the process overnight. If you can do that and not worry about the result, if you can say, "Hey, I'm Brushogun, and I'm not 100% sure about this detail about my personality, but I AM 100% sure I'm still a good person, and the rest can come later," then I think you'll be OK.

 

Well welcome to EC while you're here!

 

Majority of us here know how hard it is, and how easy it is to spiral into those negative obsessive thoughts! But the best thing you can do is keep fighting and try to stay positive and push away those thoughts. If i ever get negative tonights I try to envision a stop sign in my head, and then immediately try to think of something positive. Maybe see if that works?

 

You should just calm down. You are still quite young. If it would help you, go out with a guy for a little bit and see how you feel. Then try a girl and see how you feel about that. It could help to further see which Gender you are more attracted to. But just remember that you don't need to rush this and that everything will be okay.

 

It sounds like you're really over thinking everything. It's hard not to listen to other people's stories and it's really easy to come up with reasons you might like or dislike a gender. Basically, it doesn't matter if the feelings you had for someone were just sexual or not sexual at all, or maybe you just mistook the feeling of friendship for something else or whatever. It doesn't matter if there is or isn't an underlying reason for your attractions. If you're attracted to someone, you just are. Overthinking it can make it really hard to know if you are or not. A lot of the time I look back on feelings I had for girls and I wonder if it was all just a big phase, my feelings for guys and girls are a little different, but I know when I had those feelings that they were still real. I think there are different types of love and attraction and it can make it hard, especially when we overthink. Sexuality is never easy especially when you're not 100% gay or straight.

 

As MossyCave said, "if you're attracted to someone, you just are". That pretty much sums it up. Whether or not you overthink, the end result will be the same and there is very little you can do to control your attractions. Thinking won't do anything much more than confuse you more (at least coming from my experience), so it doesn't achieve anything.

Just have the "it is what it is" mentality, because really that's all you can do. You don't have control and you can't rationalise it so easily.

 

I don't really see how sexuality relates to drawing...

Maybe it is your personal view on your drawings, or your perspective? I don't think many artists are happy with their drawings, but that's why they work on improving, right?

I remember when I was a teen, having uncertainty of my sexuality while juggling school was hard. I wanted to focus on school, but i can't help but think about who I am. Personally I would suggest try to think about it only at your free time? Try to focus your important time on your drawing first?

/not the best advise :x

 

If you don't do anything about it, you should if it is interfering as much as you say. Try meditation to help calm yourself down, and if you need to, try talking to somebody that could help.

 

Breaking it down and making it really simple might here...

Clearly, your penis gets hard when you think certain thoughts about either gender, so sexually speaking, you are bi.

But would you have a relationship with a guy? Like, is that what you even want? Because as someone who is bi, you have some options. If you want to fall in love with a girl, you might identify as straight --- and for all intents and purposes you will be. If you want to fall in love with a man, you might identify as gay, and for all intents and purposes you will be that.

Lastly, you can always just say, "I will fall in love with whoever I decide I love", and leave it like that.

There's no reason as all to be worried about this. You are going through something that is completely normal, and it might feel confusing or scary, but you're going to turn out perfectly fine --- if anything, I'm very proud of you for looking at yourself at such a young age.