Hey everyone, im 19 years old and came out to my family and friends about 6 months ago. It hasn't been a change at all for me, no one really expected it and no one actually seems to care since I haven't changed from who I was before. Now that I'm out, how do I find guys to date, have fun with or just be friends with. Im in my second year in college but every gay guy I see is flamboyant, or stereotypically gay. Not that I have any problem with any of that, to each is own, I just would like to find someone who breaks those stereotypes similar to me. I know there are gay guys out there with similar interests who do not act the stereotypes, but I find it very hard to find. Im sorry if this is rude to anyone I really dont know how else to put it, I am looking for a guy who enjoys the outdoors, sports, and things I also find enjoyable that don't include many of the annoying stereotypes people place on gays. And unfortunately, I dont have any gay friends so I dont know who else to ask. Thanks everyone
Uhm, are you referring to very masculine gay men??? :O If yes. They're very rare D: Maybe you could start looking for "Mr. Right" is dating sites?? Hope this helps. lol I'm sure there's other good advices out there.
That's the dilemma... You only NOTICE the flamboyant ones.. There are plenty of non- flamboyant gay people. You just don't notice them. U r not alone....
Yep, stereotypes only mean that they are extremely noticeable. As for those who are gay but not stereotypically gay (by that I mean not feminine although might not be extremely masculine), me for instance, go unnoticed so it is quite exasperating since I, too, am looking for someone masculine and hopefully gay. But in this society, the consensus is that those two don't overlap well.
Exactly. Your best bet would be to make A LOT or new friends, or to find online communities like this one.
Ok, so here is the flip side. I am gay, love duck hunting, football both college and pro, have a low voice, more masculine than most straight guys that are my friends, but many think I am straight! For Gods sake, I get hit on and asked on dates by women at church! My problem is throwing enough gay "vibe" to attract a guy. Even our music director at church is openly gay, but treats me like I am straight. Maybe I should wear a bear bracelet. I don't really care if a guy loves sports or not, I just want him to be a honest loving person. I rated so alpha male on the gay index, a more feminine partner would probably be better for me. But enough about me. To answer your question, I found alot of masculine, gay sports camping kinda friends in the Bear community.
Someone tell me that masculine gay guys do exist? I would consider myself one, as in, I don't fulfil any of the stereotypes -- nobody would have a clue about me being gay. Those that I've told were completely surprised and sometimes even forget in front of me! They're talking about something related and then suddenly they say "Oh wait! I forgot that you were..." Actually if you think about it, the "no femmes" category exists and is well known... so despite people being closed-minded jerks, it shows that there are manly gays looking for other manly gays.
It's kind of funny looking at my local craigslist missed connections ads because there is this one gym "24 hour fitness" that apparently has a lot of gay/curious guys because almost every week you see someone posting about seeing a hot guy and wanting to talk to him. Actually, this says a lot about those guys: they are so shy they can't even talk to their crushes directly.