Coming out: What are you most afraid of?

I will tell one out of my million of fear. One sister loves to post any news on fb If came out, in about one hour there will be about 30-100 post saying "are you joking?". Ect.... thats one of my fears.

 

Rejection; however, I have a pretty good safety net. So I guess it's the fact that I think people will think less of me even though people's attitudes say otherwise.

 

Rejection from friends and family, physical violence since I live in a homophobic country as well as denial of economic opportunities because of my sexuality.

 

I used to be afraid of the changes in my life coming out would cause. But now I am more afraid that rumors will spread like wildfire and soon someone will use that information to my disadvantage. Physically, psychologically, socially or professionally.

 

I have no idea how my family will react, and I'm scared of finding out. But they probably wont believe me if I tell them.

 

Not sure considering I know that my siblings are LGBT tolerant. My sister asked me when I was 14 if I was gay (before I even realized I could be gay or bi) and told me that If I was that It wouldn't matter and that she loves me anyways. Biggest fears would be my parents (laugh at gay people a lot and assume people are gay. Go by stereotypes a lot but I know they wouldn't hate me for it) or females knowing that i'm bi and not giving me the time of day.

 

Totally know that feeling!

This is a really interesting question. Thinking about it, it's made me realise that most of my fears about it don't really make sense. I mostly don't worry about a bigoted reaction, it's more like a fear of an awkward reaction. Like, what if they just stare at me, speechless? What if they say something ridiculous or they're embarrassed? What if they doubt me and question me?

And I suppose, yeah, rejection, like what if I see something in their eyes and expression that shows they are seeing me differently now? The scariest ones are my parents - I know they will accept me, but I also know my dad is going to somehow make me feel uncomfortable about it for a while first.

Oh, also, I do get the 'what if I'm wrong' fear as well. But then I'm like, do I still like women? Yep. Do I still like men? Yep. Then I'm bi, shut up.

It upsets me that female friends might think I'm into them as well. But then, I don't think that of my straight male friends so it's probably just paranoia.


---------- Post added 12th Oct 2013 at 01:22 AM ----------

Bless you, I really admire how you are putting your children first in this difficult situation.

---------- Post added 12th Oct 2013 at 01:24 AM ----------


---------- Post added 12th Oct 2013 at 01:25 AM ----------

Totally know what you mean.

---------- Post added 12th Oct 2013 at 01:32 AM ----------

Personally I think that until you're dead, it's never to late to do anything you want to do. But I know it's easier said than done. Why not make some gay friends, maybe join PFLAG or go to some LGBT events or even join dating sites as they sometimes have a friendship option rather than romance and you could meet someone in a public place (for safety) just as a friend, no reason for your wife to be suspicious about you having a friend.

 

Mine is coming out at school, something I hope to avoid until college where people will be more accepting. Coming out to my girlfriends gonna be pretty hard too.

 

My number one fear is, surprisingly, not rejection. I only have my family left to come out to and I know for a fact that my mom and brother will accept me. To be honest, I think they already know. I'm a little concerned about my grandparents but I think they will accept me in the end because I will still be their granddaughter. We may live in Florida but we are from an area that accepts our community willingly. I am, however, afraid that this news will get out to the rest of the family that I could care less about and that would cause tension between family members. Most everyone else in my family is homophobic and I don't want to tear my family apart because of who I am. I mean, today I posted a status saying "To those that it applies to, Happy National Coming Out Day." I have a few gay people on my facebook and even though I'm not out, I want to show my support for them and others. My great aunt, my grandpa's sister, commented "Best not to advertise that." I mean, who would want to come out to a family like that? :icon_sad:

 

I'm worried about being pushed aside and finding out who really cares and who will accept it.

 

I really don't know. I'm not too worried about what people think, it's impossible to make everyone happy and life's too short to care. My friends and close family already know so I don't have to worry about that. I have nothing to be afraid of, but I still am.

 

being judged? bullied? gossiped about.

 

I agree. Nobody should have to struggle leting out their true selves. But i am still a bit young and for me? Manythings. My mom wants granchildren, i want kids, i dont want ppl to treat me differently or badly, and its a hard thing for ppl 2 except. I feel no one should go through that and they should express themselves freely no mattet lgbt:icon_bigg

 

I wasn't actually worried about rejection. Locally I was just worried what my mum would be against it but she's fine with it, I knew she'd never kick me out or disown me or something like that, and at school it was people being weird because I'm gay (it is a boys school ) and that they'd think I'd try and hit on them, which I did actually do on some people :roflmao:

Now I've basically reached a point where I just don't care tbh, so I'm open about it. Once you come out to enough people you get that power, don't know why, I guess I have enough positive reactions to be confident with it

 

Tbh, I wasn't so intimidated in coming out to my fellow schoolmates as students are very accepting or at least tolerant of gay people and gay in my school. I was just most concerned about my parents as they are the total opposite.

 

I was terrified of peoples reaction at school i would have been a sitting target for being bullied & I was right about that.

It killed me that mum and dad would think I was a disappointment .they didnt they were fine with it .

despite the fact I couldn't care less what people thought it still hurt when people judge you for who you are .I will always feel like that .

 

I'm mainly afraid of being treated differently. I don't want my sexuality to be the only thing people see when they look at me. Also, a part of me keeps wondering if I'm really just a confused straight girl. Which is stupid, because if there's one thing I know, it's that I'm not straight.

 

rejection, losing what I have, and fear inside myself

 

I have started to want to tell some friends that I believe could understand (one of them I kinda attracted but I have no idea how to tell if he is gay or not, have dreamt about it though). I fear after that they will see me different and act different and probably they will not know how to behave and me neither so i choose to hide it till they REALLY ask or they find out by their own. Generally I would like to introduce them to my boyfriend if I ever have one even if I don't tell them he is my boyfriend and just a friend.

My parents are another matter. I don't think they will not "forgive" me eventually but they will get so sad and disappointed and I don't want them to ever feel like that. They don't have a big problem with LGTB but it is different with strangers and different with family. Better they don't know and thankfully I will not live with them forever....

 

I'm not going to come out. I'm not sure how my family would react considering they are practicing Muslims.