Tops and bottoms

I also disagree as it is impossible for me to top anybody ever. I have never had any control of that area sexually as it is incorrect for me mentally which makes things physically impossible for me to do so and I am quite sure I am not the only one. I have frustrated quite a few women and both my bi boyfriends. June

 

I think this is one of those things where you need to actually get out and try it before you really know for sure, but in my fantasies I'm usually the one on the bottom.

 

Both are great.

 

There are many guys that do seem committed to one role or the other. However, I would think that most guys would be willing to negotiate with their partner based on their preferences. I personally am a versatile bottom, have topped before and liked it, but I usually take the bottom role. I would prefer a relationship with a guy who is at least somewhat versatile. However, even if he isn't, there is still the potential for good sex and a good relationship.

 

Same here. Just the thought of being top is uncomfortable to me.

 

Well I prefer being on the receiving end because I like not being in control, sexually. Sure, sometimes I'm in a more 'active' mood rather than passive and I'd love to try topping once but I'm not really capable of doing so. Maybe I will once I have a long term partner but I generally have erection problems. Which is fine (sort of) if you're a bottom but topping isn't going to work. So I guess it makes sense.

 

I, personally, find it amusing how many people think its boring and polarizing to limit yourself in one role, when I find it far more daft that anyone would believe that something so simple would hold that much weight in the dynamics of a relationship to begin with. It reminds me of the discussion of feminine with masculine homosexual relationships and how so many people frowned upon it because they didn't want to be put into boxes.

To be frank, if the position in which you put a sexual phallus in the bedroom or flare at which you or your partner chooses to express themselves would have any reasonable effect on how the two of you form as a unit in your mind, than it is probably best that you stay with someone versatile for your own sake. Though just because you can't look past those things doesn't mean you can apply that mindset to the rest of us.

Considering being versatile to having a more open mind or gaining more satisfaction is not less ignorant then a polysexual claiming the same. The only reason you enjoy indulging in both is simply because you sexual desires have the capacity of being sated both way. Those with strong preferences are going to walk into the bedroom with no less enthusiasm as their desires are likewise being sated. Its not simplistic matters that cause polarization; its the human imagination that makes things far more dramatically important and sectioning than they actually are.

 

I have to wonder how this would pan out for those of us who don't necessarily engage in penetrative sex every time? If it means imply submissive vs dominant, what would that mean for those who describe themselves as submissive or passive tops and power bottoms? Lexington might have mentioned something similar before.

I suppose I'd be a versatile with wild fluctuations in preferences, but still think how ridiculous how far some people take bedroom preferences. When you immediately reject someone for having a strong preference, it seems even more so. Also, strongly identifying with a role is a lot like adding which side I sleep on to my identity.

Personally, having one type of sex, and ending up in the same role each and every time would be a special kind of hell for someone like me.

 

For me it's not so much that the idea of being on top is uncomfortable, it's just that I find the idea of being on bottom so much more appealing.

 

Even though I have yet to have my first sexual experience with a woman I know I'm surely a submissive bottom.

 

I would consider myself a vers, with a slight preference towards being the top.

 

I want to be open to make love... even if a one time thing, and that means caring about what my partner desires. Had my first experience as a top... mind bending, in that I was very much the passive partner. No. Can't classify top = power bottom = passive. I was the fetish older queer my partner desired, and that meant--entirely new for me-- accepting that role for his pleasure. Being 'cute' 'adorable' ... never been any of that for anyone in my life! But then... I don't even know who I was, the person before coming out--what the person has to do with me now. It's all new. I wouldn't rule out anything at this point.
Two things I learned in Boy Scouts: Be Prepared, and how to suck cocks. I carry Astroglide and condoms with me now. Faeries appear and vanish and appear again where you never expected them.

 

I suppose I'll just see where it goes, when it happens. I like the idea of both

 

While I can be both...I prefer the top. And it works as my fiancee prefers the bottom.
I don't respond well to being on the bottom and penetration does NOT get me off. I hate being dominated, except rare occasions when I need to be held.
I like for my girl to be hanging on to me. and wrapped around me sort of. I like to do the holding.
Yes we lesbians have a top and bottom

 

I think I'd like both, but I probably would prefer to bottom. It's just more appealing to me.

 

Both (in my fantasy)... top in real life... i tried to bottom but i ain't fully open to it yet...

 

It's like...I dunno. Two kinds of food. Burgers and nachos. Some like them about equally. Some like burgers more than nachos. Some will only order nachos if burgers aren't on the menu. And others will skip eating if the only option is nachos.

None of them are doing it wrong. They simply know what they like, and order accordingly. The burger-only folks aren't necessarily closed-minded.

But for those who say it doesn't matter in a relationship, I'll simply say this. I have no trouble ordering nachos if I can't have a burger. But the longer you have me on a nacho-only diet, the more I'm going to start craving that burger.

Lex