I hate my life. Please help.

Hey. I know how you feel. I went through a similar thing when I was your age. I hated school. Didnt have any friends. I would spend every day alone. It was horrible. I used to think it was my fault too... like there was something wrong with me. And I too wanted to end my life. And even tried on a couple of occasions. I also wanted to go to uni for exactly the same reasons as you. But I didnt know what to study. And in the end didnt go. I am now 21 and working. Honestly? Im much happier. The people who I work with have been sooo welcoming and supportive. There is one person in particular who I honestly could no longer live without.
What your doctor said to you was really insensitive. And to be honest... they were probable the spoilt rich kid that you mentioned that has never had a real worry in the world and so doesnt understand.
Things can get better. As for getting to know people... it comes with practice. Dont worry. If I can do it, so can you. Hope this makes you feel a little bit better.

 

What you're describing is so very similar to what I've been through. I got caught up with this idea about age and what I should be doing.

The fact is there's actually no formula to living life and due to the social isolation, it's easy to have idealised views about others that just aren't true. By the sounds of it you have plenty to offer and plenty of options available to you, it's just hard to see them. Or rather, you have quite a few options and just a hard time choosing.

If you went to uni and spent a semester doing something you didn't like, would that be so bad?
There are a lot of people who change courses or even complete multiple degrees until they find what they like. The key is to do it now, so in another few years you don't regret not taking the chance at 19. You have nothing to lose as long as you just pass your subjects.

I think it's admirable that you're volunteering, even though paid work is clearly the goal, at least you're doing something which enhances your skills in some way rather than just checking out completely. The volunteering might give you better insight in what you would like to do with yourself in the long term.

I also think you would be surprised about what others truly do think about you. It takes time but if you get a compliment, don't dismiss it, it might be trivial but it still has truth behind it. If someone truly had a problem with you, they would have told you.

If you are feeling suicidal, please let somebody know. I am happy to chat to you if you ever want to.

 

Nobody in life wakes up and just has friends one day. You'll meet some people. You have to get out and find things you enjoy and through that, you'll meet other people that share common interest. But don't let making friends become the priority. Be good at whatever activity you're attempting to do and through that, people will become attracted to you.

List three things you want to do and then go out and start doing those things. Play a sport, join a club, get a job, go to a school... You do volunteer work. How are the people there?

Real quick, let me tell you.. I played baseball ten years ago and some of my best friends now are those people. But we never kept in touch. We didn't become good friends up until about 5 years ago when we found common ground. So things won,t happen right away and you can't try to force them.

So your doctor is right. You're young. Take your time.

 

Aww, I'm in the same position. If it helps, I'd go clubbing with you if I were 18

There was an article I read a while ago about things like Facebook, it talked about "obsessive comparison disorder" (not sure if it's a real thing or not), but it made perfect sense. People on Facebook are biased, they almost always post positive things in their life, or exaggerate things, calling a shit night out "the best time ever." You look at these status updates, and you think to yourself "oh they're having so much fun I wish I was doing all those things." The thing is though, they aren't doing all these things all the time, it's just you see these updates all the time and assume everyone is having fun except you.

It's hard not to compare yourself to others though, I know I do it all the time so this post may be pointless. You're not alone though. I have no friends and passed up an opportunity to go to sixth form because I'd rather just work, I thought there's no point and it'd be a waste of my time. I really wish I did go though, because it'd be worth it just to makes friends so I can go out and have a good time with them.

The thing is, there are so many people like you (and me) out there, but the fact is we don't actively look for friends. As Joey said, nobody in life wakes up and just has friends. I could complain about me having no friends as much as I want, but it wouldn't solve anything, sitting at home every day wont solve anything. The same applies to you. I've just learned to have fun in other ways, and to have optimism.

I do understand what you mean about not sure how to meet people though. I'm assuming you're after meeting clubbers/ravers? I am as well, and likewise I'd have no idea where you'd meet them other than at clubs, and people don't really make friends at clubs, they're pretty much there to have a good time with their current mates. Unfortunately, I think it's a numbers game, you just have to make friends in general and hope they're clubbers.

I do think it's tough though. From having no friends people tend to get depressed, and when depressed they're less appealing to potential friends, and can develop things like anxiety pretty easily. If you want to talk some more then feel free to drop me a message, and if you find a magical secret trick to meeting clubbers then let me know

 

^ Ha. You know, I've been out with people and had a shitty time and see them post that they had an excellent night out.

 

Haha, well, when you have nobody you're forced to figure stuff out for yourself, I'm not sure it's maturity as much as independence, thanks though

And haha, London is easy to access anyway only takes like 30 mins, and I can easily get drink the only issue is not being able to get into clubs xD I've been to a few before by fake ID in a very poorly lit entrance unfortunately that doesn't seem to work much anymore. Oh well... 1 year 2 months to go. And like you, I know how shit it is, I'm probably going to have nobody to invite out on my 18th, but who knows, the future is ever changing, all you can do is hope it changes for the better

About the last post though, again I know what you mean. I was exactly like that about a year ago, but I just sort of got out of it. I think what's most painful is when we have expectations, we expect to get friends sometime in the future and so when it's not happening it just makes us feel shit. I'm afraid I cant help you with the meeting people part, because I'm the same way and have no idea. A lot will probably advise some sort of clubs, but I personally don't think I'd meet the type of people I want to be friends with at clubs, they'd probably be a bit too boring for me but each to their own. Saying that though, I've met a lot of really cool people online that are a total laugh, definitely planning on meeting with a bunch of guys when I got a car (woo 2 months to go). So who knows, maybe online is the way to go. Although if you do go that route make sure to be careful, meet in public etc.

About the job part though - I think that's probably laziness though right? Because I was the exact same way like 2 weeks ago lol but decided that it's about time I get one before doing anything but gaming is excruciatingly boring. I just simply handed out CVs to a bunch of places, I got 2 calls back on the day I handed them out, and got both jobs, however one was full time so I'm just taking that one. That one I happened to get though was through an add I saw on gumtree, so it might be worth checking that out. I can help you with your CV if you like? That's whats important in scoring an interview, first impressions matter for things like that.

I know it's not exactly a solution, but I've found video games make me much less depressed. They give you something you have to focus on entirely which makes your mind clear easily. But then again I've been addicted in the past so might not be the best advice lol, all I can offer really is understanding

---------- Post added 27th Sep 2013 at 10:53 PM ----------

Just to clarify here, I meant social clubs, like clubs for football or something. Raving clubs would sure have fun people in (for my tastes) but it'll be rare to make friends there.