Ok here goes. I'm am a 30 year old female lesbian (I know, i'm old as dirt :icon_bigg) and I have never been in love. I was wondering if I should start looking, or just settle for anyone including men whom i've also never dated, nor fallen in love with nor attracted to. I do get lonely when I see couples holding hands and making out and I go to bed all alone every single night, I celebrate the holidays only with family, I totally ignore Valentines day and I have no one to even look at on New years. What should I do. Oh yeah I have no car so I can't get anywhere lol. Am I just hopeless? I used to be ok with being alone, there was a time not too long ago when I preferred to be alone and now i find myself crying alone almost every night.:help:
Don't settle for less. I used to be the same way but then I got tired of being lonely and sought out a lover. One whom I can really call my own. I've found him and he loves me more than anything. Searching for him might have been easy for me but in the end he was worth more than the trouble I went through. I even came out of the closet to my family because the love I felt for him was so strong. Love is really worth the fight, so keep fighting and searching for love because it is the best feeling in the whole world when you feel it.
I'll second that settling is no good. Even if it did work in the short term, it wouldn't in the long term, and you'd be right back where you started. Try meeting people for friends, as well as dating. Volunteer at a local (or not so local) lgbt club/group/organization. Look for gay-themed events or gatherings. If those aren't your thing, try talking to anyone you're out to and asking them if they can fix you up with someone. Online dating (or even just socializing) is a possibility too. Finally...you better not be old as dirt, cause I've just got you beat there.
30 yr old is young for me. Try socializing. Try it first online. If you are ready to go to a date, go for it. There is no harm in trying. You are still young.
That's the feeling that I want like it's the best feeling in the world to love someone. I feel like my life is passing me by and I'm gonna expire soon lol. Thanks for all the answers guys. I'm scared of the online dating thing I guess it's because i'm so pathetic so I avoid it.
Two things: 1) Thirty is young. 2) I settled and endured 20 years of hard marriage. Any questions? :dry:
Wow I'm so sorry to here that. 20 years is a long time. I guess being stuck in a hard marriage would be worse then being single for a while longer :-(
The kids are adjusting well, they know they are loved, and that is the important part; not saying it's easy, but there is much less tension at home since I left.
That they know that IS important. I think this offsets what some friends have reported about feeling like they're being wedged in the middle of a battle. GW, how long have you been on your own now? That took courage in and of itself. (Funny, when I say GW, it usually refers to our first President and the bridge in NYC). Chic30, you are YOUNG. I forget, sometimes women are on a different schedule. Don't settle. Everyone who settles seems to get bitten somehow. Also, if you feel you are lesbian, per your identification, don't settle for "the man you never knew." I think others would concur.
Tightrope has it right, settling is the worst you can do. I've heard it said that so many of us accept the love that we think we deserve. Loving yourself, or not, has a lot to do with the decision to just settle, just knowing that we deserve better is a very important step. Tightrope, I've been out of the house since the end of April, a lot of work but I'm much happier on my own. If I could see the kids more, it would be better, but being away from her is priceless...
I agree. 30 is not old. I'm over 30. But yeah, that means I totally understand what you mean by "old." I also feel you when you say you feel alone. I've been single all of my life and have just slowly started to come out. I've got some good friends, but I hope to start making some gay friends soon. Possibly go on some Meet Ups that you find readily online, etc. I think it all starts with friendships. Then let things blossom from there.
It's like we're the same people lol. I've been single all my life too. I'm so afraid of what people think of me so I refuse to date anyone and people flirt with me at the most awkward places so I get scared and turn them down. I was hit on by the girl who was a little older then me but my mom was right next to me with the most horrified look on her face...kinda embarrassing lol.
Just noticed this thread and wanted to chime in as well against settling! I am also just dealing with these things at a ripe age but figuring out my sexuality has been the key to that clique I always thought was a crock... That once you love yourself you will attract others to love you as well. And since I only came out of denial recently...I spent my life looking in the wrong place for the connection I truly craved. And I had some serious internalized homophobia so I had/have to work on breaking that down so I can see that I am "lovable" before I could even be comfortable to start looking. But that is me. . Sounds like you might have more acceptance of yourself than I do.
