How long should people typically need to date before they get married? Are there special circumstances where a couple can date for just a few months and then have a lifelong happy marriage? Do high school relationships stand a chance? If you choose the option "depends," here's a challenge- list five things a relationship should have (or be, or resemble, or whatever) to prove it's ready for the altar.
As long as it takes for them to get each other well enough that they both realise they want to marry. Which could be a short as a week or as long as 5 years. Things like these can't be objectified into set parameters imo.
Not every marriage or relationship for that matter is founded on the same principles or rules. Ergo you cannot simply quantify this issue.
I chose depends 1 Trust 2 Honesty If you are hiding something from him then there might be a problem 3 Intamcy (no not sex) like just enjoying cuddling up on the couch watching tv 4 Arguments yes thats right arguments. Not knock down drag out type arguments, but if you still agree on everything then you probably don't know him that well. 5 BEER. Okay I panicked, but wanted to make 5 for you. ---------- Post added 20th Sep 2013 at 04:29 AM ---------- new 5) acceptance of most of his friends/family because the people he chooses to be around are probably people with similar beliefs and interests to him. Yea, you may say 'he's nothing like most of his friends' but you are wrong that means you probably haven't met the 'true him'.....yet. And I said most not all because almost everybody has a friend/family member or two that is a complete tool.
I picked the length of time that I would date someone before considering marriage. 1 to 2 years, probably closer to 2. I think that gives more time to really build up a solid connection and friendship simultaneously with the romantic relationship. Personally, that's how long I think it would take to really get to know someone. I'd want to see if the first months of the relationship would actually lead to feelings of legitimate love, or if they were just infatuation. But, I suppose it's different depending on the people.
I chose 'depends'. Obviously, I want to love my partner before we get married, but loving someone can happen in a very short time and there needs to be some real getting to know each other, the good, the bad and the ugly. there has to be some life experience and communication between partners before legally binding themselves. For me personally, I'm thinking about tying the knot because: 1. (by the time I ask) we'll have been together for 2 years and known each other for 3. 2. we have lived together with all the attendant good things and bad things. 3. we have interests and friends and time in common and separate from each other. 4. we have weathered a lot of hard life stuff. sometimes we did it well, sometimes we fumbled through it, but we made it and we're okay. 5. our future plans, for the most part, mesh. we are both on the same page about what we each want for our futures. we've talked location, careers, school, kids, finances, etc and all that stuff works out or can be compromised on just fine.
I'm a bit old fashioned about this kinda thing [I know, ironic isn't it?] but I think that anything less than a year is just not long enough. You're making a commitment to spend the rest of your life with someone, that's not something you jump to without some serious thought first.
Everybody moves at their own pace. I'd probably want at least 5 years, just to make sure both of us were happy and set in the relationship - one of my best friends got married after 7 months and she's incredibly happy with her husband.
I'd say 8 years. Probably because I don't believe in divorce and you can't pretend you're the best partner for 8 years if you're not. You'll mess up if you're faking in 8 years. And you want to know if your happy. And to know if your partner is a complete jerk.
The thing is people can encounter each other in pretty tense situations and through that get to learn the worst and the best of the other in a relatively short period of time.
Sometimes there are practical reasons that take priority over "madly in love" and other romantic considerations. Friend of mine is marrying because her fiance has no access to health care and is having serious health problems. That's her call but i worry. There are tax concerns, immigration, aggressive parents. Now, i'm sure some marriages fail because they were pressured into marriage by these concerns, but most were probably just bad fit. I would say 2-3 years but you *also* need to be mindful of those mundane life issues like job security.
I chose atleast 3-5yrs because u can't possibly know someone enough only being together for a year and get married. That's just my opinion...marriage is expensive and divorce is more expensive so just stay together for as long as possible get to know ur partner inside and out and then get married when the time is right...no rush lol why the fuck marry after a year or before a year? But if it works for some people then good for u
For a rule of thumb, I put two years. It is perfectly reasonable to know that you are meant to be with a certain someone very early in a relationship; however, I fail to see why that must mean you are obligated to immediately begin thrusting yourself into a marriage. What exactly is the motive? Personally, for myself, it would more likely be around the 3-5 year range. It has nothing to do with commitment; it doesn't get much more monogamous than me. Though being in a marriage and a LTR relationship wouldn't vary that much until I am at least 28 as then I would probably be looking to adopt, solidify my income, etc. There are definitely benefits to marriage. I just don't see the point in rushing into it unless you are planning on merging finances, having children, etc. Its not as those it is necessary to solidify commitment in a relationship.
As long as it takes them to click and trust one another. It could happen in a few months or a couple of years.
