Should you date someone even though they're not attractive to you?

Personality is obviously the most important trait. But looks is almost just as important in my book. If there ain't a physical attraction I don't see how it'd work. I often think about this, and how I can find some people having attractive personalities and maybe not be very attractive physically to me.

 

I quite often find myself attracted to people that I initially wasn't attracted to. For example, there was someone that I had seen around for 5 years, but never gave a second glance. Then, once I got to know her personally, I became attracted to her because of who she was as a person. Physical attraction then followed.

 

For me there has got to be some sort of initial physical attraction. It doesn't have to be a huge spark or anything, but there needs to be something. Personality is really really important, vital even, but if there's no physical allure, nothing will happen. I have several friends whose personalities I love and we're really close, but I'm not really physically attracted to them at all, and so even if I found out they were gay, I still wouldn't want to date them. We'd just be really good friends still.

 

I'd rather be rejected than having someone date me from pure mercy. Like "I don't really like him but he's a nice guy so I can't really say no to him". I hate this kind of stuff. And since I don't wish that it happens to me, I'm certainly not going to do it to another guy. Truth hurts, but I'd rather tell them the truth and get this over with instead of raising their expectations and then crushing them.

 

I've done it...and it was a horrible experience each time. I basically went out on dates with guys I wasn't attracted to because I didn't want them to feel bad by refusing them. But the dates were miserable and my eyes kept wandering around looking at all the cute skinny guys that I wished I was with instead.

So it's just not fair to anyone to force myself to go out with someone whom I am not attracted to. Physical attraction is an important part of the equation; a pretty face, fit body, flat chest, tight ass, hot legs, sexy dick, and nice dangly balls, the whole package. Maybe I'm shallow and have unreasonably high standards. However if I'm not going to be physically attracted to someone, I might as well make my whole life easier and just marry a woman. But I'd rather take my chances in the hopes that I can really be happy and make some guy I'm really attracted to happy one day.

 

No, I don't think you should... there isn't really a point in dating someone just for the sake of it or if you are not attracted to them, whats the point? Its like saying "should I eat a raw onion, even if I don't like the say it tastes"... Like I could but what would the point be.

 

I'm kind of the same way. I knew the person I fell for the hardest for a whole year before I began to like her. Personality can definitely play a role in people's physical attributes.

That being said, sometimes people are just meant to be your friends. If you've known this person for years, you are compatible, and you love them as a friend but you still can't stand the thought of kissing them, then it's probably time to accept that you aren't going to replicate those feelings. It doesn't make you a bad person, it just makes you a friend.

 

Yes, physical attraction is somewhat important when it comes to finding a mate, but then again, beauty is in the eye of the beholder - the type of guy I find attractive might not be your type, and vice versa. For example, one person will look at me, and see Jabba the Hutt, but another person will look at me and see a cuddly, hairy teddy bear.

Also, as previous posters have said, a person's personality can also make a person look more or less physically attractive. However, you shouldn't force it if you aren't attracted to them, even if their personality is perfect.