So, for those of you who are in the closet or were, have you ever pretended to be homophobic to create a false impression that you were not gay? To what extent did you do this?
not really, in fact I was so for gay rights at a young age (prior to discovering my pansexuality) that people assumed i was gay
Yes, I am ashamed to say that I did, not to anyone, but in general...I learned to shut up though because I learned that, in the words of Shakespeare, "though dost protest too much" is also quite revealing...and I was paranoid about never revealing who I am.
I never persay acted homo/transphobic towards anyone personally but I despised transgender people and held some pretty transphobic views (that transpeople were sick and delusioned, that a transgender person was just a gay/lesbian who couldn't accept their same sex attractions). Still dealing with looking past that today, got loads of internalized transphobia as a result.
I used to think transexual people were just didn't want to accept that they were gay/lesbian w.e (tried to say they were born into wrong body) but after seeing lots of videos and hearing about children believing that they were the opposite sex changed my view but that was a loooong time ago.
Nope, but I'm not above using phrases like "Suck a dick" or "Stop acting so gay". It's not in a homophobic sense, its for jest and wisecracks.
I wonder what was going through someones mind when they acted homophobic... did they felt really guilty afterwards???
Yes, and I'm ashamed to admit it. Some boys in the group home (where my mom was houseparent) surrounded the boy I had been secretly having oral sex with. They taunted him and beat him with a belt. I joined in so they wouldn't turn on me. My dad came in and broke things up before T got seriously hurt. Everyone was grounded for a while after that.
Yes, sad to say, I did. I lied to myself the whole time and to others, because I was afraid to be me. I no longer do that though, and even though I am still in the closet to some, everyone knows I support gay marriage, equal rights, etc. It's a all a process. I can't wait for the day I am completely out, so I can feel that freeing feeling. Rejection and abandonment, that's what scares me. Longing for the day, I can be brave. But baby steps now, is all I can do. I remember in high school, there were two girls, who were lesbians. I use to do the wrong thing, and say things, like, ewww, or gross, or think of them as freaks, etc. I did those things because thats what my friends were doing. But deep inside of me, I wished I could be like them. I carried the guilt of being ugly to them, and hurtful for years. Now I am happy to say, that I am friends with them on fb. Yes, they are still together almost 40 years later!
That's too bad for that kid, biggayguy. So the kids were sort of on to him, then? No and yes. In a group or through active behavior, I have not. In my mind, I have. I don't care for some urban gay men who are alarmingly narcissistic and pissy. Again, that's my perception, since these individuals were also snappy and rude in the general course of things (waiting on you at a store, if you bump into them in a crowd, etc.) I don't think laughing at a gay joke, sometimes told by gay folks themselves, is homophobic. There are certainly some funny ones out there.
I still sometimes use the word 'fag' but only in the right company when I know they'll understand the context of the joke. I always was confused why my bullies thought being gay was something you could effectively be made fun of for. Some of my bullies in the hardest two years of my life (the years that buried me in the closet for the last 10) came out a year after I left that school. I don't recall ever acting homophobic or anything like that, but I was certainly surrounded by people who did.
Yeah, he always acted a bit different. All of the boys were juvenile delinquents to some degree. They taught me a lot of bad stuff. I tried to find that boy's number several years later to apologize to him. I never found it. He must have moved out of Ohio.
Well, I was young (13) and during middle school I discovered that liking the same sex was not a good thing. I knew that I liked girls then, but I agreed with my friends and said that it was gross being with a girl. However, I didn't know it was considered homophobic at the time, but I never treated anyone who was gay badly. I just didn't want them to suspect that I was and stop hanging out with me.
i did a little when i was younger but that was before i knew and after i sort of figured my self out a bit i was still a little bit to try and hide my self
I've never really been overtly homophobic. I used to try and laugh along with the homophobic comments of my friends however, and on rare occasion I would say something derogatory towards gay people. I only ever called someone a fag maybe twice, and I felt really guilty about it. I also used to be really bothered by really overtly flamboyant people (whether they were gay or not, I just assumed they were). That part has been the most difficult aversion to break, but I would say I'm much more comfortable around them now than I was before, an I've learned not to judge them before I know them. Though I'm not out yet, I generally scold my friends when openly and blatantly putting down gay people. If it's a joke that's not terribly offensive, I just keep quiet.