So Im telling my dad tuesday. I had a couple of my friends online look at it. Now its time for you guys to tell me what you think. Dad, As you have likely noticed, over the course of the last year, I have become noticeably more depressed. I feel very anxious and pessimistic all of the time. These feelings have caused me to act out in less than ideal ways. I feel awful about the yelling matches that me and you have gotten into recently. The last thing I want to do is fight with you or mom, I love both of you so much and I want you to know that without a doubt! Now to get to the point of this letter. There is something that I have been battling with for many years, about 8 years to be exact. I know you might be wondering when I plan on getting a girlfriend and starting my life. The reason I don’t have a girlfriend is because I’m gay. Before you throw this letter in the trash and go lock yourself in your room, I want you to realize that I'm the same son you've always had. The only difference now is that you know something about me that you didn’t know before. I'm not going to suddenly change, except that I'll be much happier now that you and mom now know this secret that I've been keeping locked away. This isn't anybody’s fault, its not caused by an absent father figure or an overbearing mother. All we have to blame for this is genetics. I couldn’t have asked for better parents, I love you both so much! September 17th is the one year anniversary of the day I came out to mom, I wanted to let you know before that date. It took mom quite a long time to get used to it and I suspect it will take you just as long, and that’s okay. I'm leaving to go to <censored> house for the next couple of days to let things cool down. And to answer your next question, me and <censored> are not together...gross. If you need to talk to me, please email me. I will not be taking my phone will me. Your son, stridenttube
looks really nice! there is a typo in the last line though, "i will not be taking my phone will me" i hope it goes well! (*hug*)
Hi there! The only suggestion I would have is to print out one of the resources from PFLAG that you could include with the letter: Our Daughters and Sons. It might help your dad to understand things better. I am glad that your mom has come around to it, which could have a positive influence on your dad. The other suggestion I would have is to make the emphasis, on why you are coming out to him, a tad stronger. What are you hoping will change as a result of your coming out to him? A lot of youth come out because they want a better/stronger relationship with their parents, and be able to share with them a part of their life they otherwise could not have. If that is the case, I'd include it.
The letter seems fine. However, the tone does seem a bit defensive. I get the impression that you are anticipating a negative reaction. I don't think it is good that this is apparent from the letter. As I have said in other threads, I like the idea of projecting a positive and confident tone which does not give the reader any sense that a "normal" person would react in anything other than in a happy and supportive way to this news. Besides, many people react in a way that is very different from what we expect. Allow for the possibility that this might be one of those situations. Be aware that the tone and content of your letter could actually CREATE the response you fear. Expect the best but prepare for the worst. Good luck!
In particular, I'd get rid of the "Before you throw this in the trash" line. I'd also change the part where you say "I suspect it will take you just as long" to something more open ended (maybe, "If it takes you a while to get used to this I understand" or something of that matter). Ultimately though, it's a good letter and it's really important that this comes from you, so if you feel like those lines are important then you should go ahead and keep them in.
I would leave that line in because it signals how scary this is for him... To finally open up to his father.
I'm leaving as soon as I give It to him. That way I don't have to deal with it for a couple of days and can just let it set in.
Not trying to be harsh but if your dad doesn't except you then hes not a true loving father I have never have any hints or came out to my parents but when I do I know one of them will except me it's always the mom
It`s a good letter, here are a few tips: 1) after the word gay, start a new paragraph. It emphasizes the word and lets it sink in before he continues reading. 2) I'm with Chip on this, emphasize how you hope that this will strengthen your relationship by being more honest with each other. 3) No need to mention the possibility of his throwing the letter away, he won't, it also assumes too much about his reaction, it's just a little too defensive, which in turn may also provoke him to raise his defenses. 4) try not to "blame" genetics, that implies that being gay needs to be blamed on something, because it's somehow negative, try "it's just genetics, like the color of my eyes or my shoe size". I wish you the best of luck!
It's a strong letter. Really, if he can't accept it, you've done your best. I hope it'll go well and you can start to recover from depression Best of luck!
