Goodbye God... Hello Gay, anyone relate?

This is what I say. Pagans unite!

 

I hate that I've lost my relationship with God. I honestly wish I could just turn back the clock to the time before I decided to act on my bisexual urges and just decide not to explore that.

Being bi has not been a joy. I'd absolutely change it if I could. Unfortunately, I can't pray it away and I certainly tried.

The loss of God in my life has been quite painful. But keeping God in my life kept the internalized homophobia at a higher level than what it is at present.

I'd gladly return to God and being straight. Life was so much simpler.

 

I can't tell you how much I relate to that. In my own way, I think I still have faith...but I can't stand to be near a church anymore. I grew up in a very religious, conservative environment, and those Christian friends I grew up with just aren't...real. And they'd never accept me for who I am. I can barely stand to be around them anymore.

It's been hard to accept this very different version of myself, very different from what I was even as little as just a couple years ago. I can't just pretend like everything's alright anymore, though. I feel lost and confused most of the time, and my former support group, well, I can't turn to them anymore. What're they going to give me? Some empty promises of prayer, a pat on the back, and a "Jesus loves you"? Those things used to comfort me once, but not anymore.

 

There's been similar threads and I'm sympathetic to your pain. In the end, you'll probably come away with many reasons for losing faith. Gay and religious is not mutually exclusive, and there plenty of hetero atheists.

Given that i was dragged to church regularly, i did not identify as atheist until recently, years after realizing that I'm gay. It wasn't particularly painful or duplicitous of me, because my "faith" was never really that secure. I didn't care about any of that, and when you're 12, who does care about the afterlife? Being gay was a far more pressing issue. I also was not aware of, more like i was shielded from, the realities of the gay rights movement, that we were for the most part oppressed *because* of religion. I simply thought at that most everyone was anti gay.

So fast forward to the past year, when i gave up on theism/deism completely. I was by this time a lot more comfortable with my sexuality. I was never torn up about the religious tension and hatred. When i discovered the conflict, that most all of my classmates are atheist/agnostic/apathetic and also pro gay rights, it confirmed that i wanted nothing to do with religion. But that's intellectually dishonest to stop there. I had settled on atheism because *i simply don't believe in a deity/creator*. This is ultimately what constitutes atheism. That label really had very little or nothing to do with my sexuality.

 

I enjoyed reading this, I even see myself in most parts of your post. Best of luck to you: )

 

If anyone's interested I found a network of people that believe you can be both gay and Christian. What would it hurt to take a look? The Gay Christian Network

 

my thought is gay people think just because they are gay they can just stop being religious and bash god. I on the other hand have thought about it and slowly coming to terms with not believing in got.

 

This is not the same, but similar, my faith struggled when i got angry at the whole sex before marriage is a sin, but at the end only my religion changed to my own interpretation, while my believein God remained the same, but now i feel closer, and i like him more now that i dont believe in the meaningless arbotrary rules that some people says he haves for us.

 

Religion and even faith are tricky, especially because of all of the voices that come out of organized religion. I cannot speak to the texts of any Pagan or far eastern religions but as far as monotheism goes, most of the conflict comes from interpretation. The Torah and Old Testament both say that homosexuality is an abomination; however, of equal sinfulness is eating shellfish and wearing garments of multiple fabrics. Moreover, this was written during times of non-existent healthcare and specifically target gay males. 3000 years ago, if you ate under-cooked shellfish, you would have a high changes of dying. If you were wearing mix-fabric clothing, there could have been economic significance to that (i.e., you might have been mixing with the fabrics of your enemies). And from my limited understanding of sex between males, there is a considerable risk for internal tearing if lubricants aren't used - there was no KY in Biblical times. From these facts, I deduce that those who wrote the Torah/ Old Testament were scholars who were trying to give guidance (and control to an extent) their people; they mostly had good intention, I feel but it's created tumult in the long-run. Moving away from this one passage (there is only one to my knowledge), we face the condemnation of the people of Lot. The tale of Lot is found also in the Qu'ran, with which I'm more familiar. The actions of the people of Lot are condemned but if one reads these passages, they'll see that it is rape, promiscuity, drunkenness, theft, murder, and kidnapping that are condemned. In fact, the Qu'ran doesn't address homosexuality at all; the only relevant passage states that a man shouldn't act as a woman and vice versa. Again, all of these things depend upon how you read them. A major problem "religious" people have is that they actually diminish God; for example, if God is responsible for the existence of all things, then things are as they should be because God cannot make a mistake - it's outside the scope of what it means to be "God." Therefore, if you are truly a "person of faith" and you happen to be gay or trans, you must conclude that it is because you were meant to be this way. In short, Lady Gaga is right. ;P

Going back to the immediate problem, I will admit that I struggle a lot with religion. I've always been extremely spiritual, was brought up Catholic (actually wanted to be a Marianist priest) but had a fundamental problem with the idea of Jesus as the begotten son of God - hence, I'm not Christian. I considered Judaism (my great-grandfather was Jewish) but it just didn't resonate with me. At the age of 13 or so, I discovered Islam but I'd long known about my sexuality and gender identity so, I pushed religion (not spirituality) to the side. Furthermore, I'm a scientist so, I'm always fighting between my spiritual and rational selves. I'm now 25 and stuck somewhere in the aether between Islam and just wandering between schools of spiritual thought.

I think the important thing is to find YOUR truth and not worry about the rest but that's easier said than done.

Best of luck!

 

I am bisexual and I still believe in the Lord.
I find it very sad how people realise that they are gay or bisexual and then are like "Oh dear, God hates my guts now."
Well, God loves everyone for who they are, and has made us all in our own special ways. Even though some Christian groups believe being a homosexual is a sin, it really isn't if you look at it overall. Also, people forget that God didn't create the Bible, it was humankind that did. And funny thing about humans is that they make mistakes along the way. Another thing is that Jesus didn't mention anything about homosexuals.

anyways I am blabbing on.
Just to say, I am a Christian and am bisexual. That isn't an oxymoron, it doesn't contradict each other. People just need to realise that sexuality isn't a sin, it is part of what makes someone...

 

And this, my friends, is why Religion hurts.

 

I feel you. Letting go of faith is not easy for anyone. What you describe makes sense. I mean if you remove all the bells and whistles, it's just going into a building and well, the sense of something more is just gone. I still don't get what gay has to do with it though. "Gay culture" has become a lot less promiscuous from what I can tell.

In the end, you just have to sit down and think on what makes you happy, no living by others' rules. Gay is absent from god, where did you get this idea? Pretty sure others have drilled it into you. You can be gay and believe in a deity who isn't a complete judgmental douche, and just not go to church. I think that's no less valid than any other belief system. Well, make an intellectually honest decision is all I'm saying. You don't have to rush it either.

---------- Post added 15th Sep 2013 at 05:59 PM ----------

Nobody realizes they're gay and just instantly drops their faith, and bashing religion and god are two different things. You thought about it. Well, so has everyone else.

 

Why I am no longer a Christian - YouTube Why I Am No Longer a Christian.
i think anyone who has had a mega belief or world view crushed can relate to this guy.the real interesting stuff is in his latter you tubes.

 

Well if all you were taight was that God would hate you (which he does not) for being gay, then it would seem that you also would feel that God can't be with you if you are embracing that which you feel he hates you for. So by choosing one in your mind you had to eliminate the other.

 

I first came out to another man at church (who was also gay). I used to go to church regularly but, since I came out ... I go even more frequently. I never hide my sexuality, and it's never been an issue. (I'm a member of the Church of England, by the way, although I sometimes attend Roman Catholic services when there's no Anglican service at a convenient time).

It's very much possible to be religious and openly gay, but there are difficulties. There are, of course, homophobic people in churches (although I must repeat that I've never experienced any homophobia in church), and there are also may people in the LGBT community who are very much anti-Christian. But despite that, it's very much possible to be very religious and very gay. Andy Warhol would be another example.

 

I am right in the middle of finding myself and losing my religion. It's really weird. A few years ago I was super conservative Christian lady. Now I'm not sure what I believe. I repressed my sexuality for years because of "God". The more I learn about scripture, the more I see that it's really been badly translated and then widely spread. Soon after I opened myself up to possibly being gay, I found this. "Being gay is not a sin." - Matthew Vines While it comforted me because I really believe he;s right: gay=/=sin. It also left me unsettled because it raises the question of what else have we gotten very very wrong?

I don't have the answer. I'm still trying to decide how important it is for me to figure out.

 

I have SERIOUSLY struggled with my faith in the last couple of years. And since the wife asked me for a divorce, it's gotten even worse. I have lost ALL my friends, most of which I knew from church.

Last year, I was in LA and went to an MCC church. I cried the whole time. I can't accept God's love. I'm just not there yet. I've always heard that "God hates fags" and I tried so hard to stop being gay so God would love me again.

I was talking to a UM pastor online last night (a friend of mine) and telling her all the bullshit that has been told me to me. Her response was "What a bunch of fucking idiots!" I laughed so hard at her response. It was so refreshing to hear that someone understood and that I wasn't abnormal.

I don't know where God is in this process. I really don't. I hope that someday my faith will be restored. But for now, I just don't see it.