Didn't this would ever happen to me. I have been settled as bisexual for fifteen years. Then I watch the video Tears For Bobby. I can see myself in Bobby so strongly. It was the way he had girl friends but when one wanted sex he couldn't go that far. He didn't want to hurt her. I have gone that far and hurt two beautiful ladies deeply. I told each of them at different times that I couldn't love them the way they deserved to be loved. In retrospect there are many things that point to my being gay. One was sex with a woman. It was mostly mutual masturbation. It was so plain that I got in to watching Pokémon at the same time. Hetero porn used to turn me on but not any more. I enjoy theater and musicals. I LOVE shopping. For so many years I passed for straight that I have the act down cold. I wanted you all to be the first to know that I'M GAY!(&&&)
Congrats, Biguy50! I saw "Prayers for Bobby" when it first came on TV 5 or so years ago, but have not since. It would probably have much more impact for me now that I've actually come out. And I wouldn't feel so bad about the two women you think you hurt. In reality, they probably had some sort of inkling that you were gay. Or can at least look back now in 2013 and connect the dots, so to speak. It would be one thing if you'd consciously lured women into your bedroom and then derived a sick satisfaction from rejecting them at the last moment. But clearly, you were honest to the degree that you were most comfortable. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Again, congratulations!!! ---------- Post added 27th Aug 2013 at 09:42 AM ---------- LOL, Lex! Right there with ya'.
Congrtulations of finally figuring out who you are! Wonder if I am the only one whose first thought when seeing this thread was: "man, his username is so awkward now."
@SeniorDiscount One lady was extremely sheltered and a virgin so nothing was going to happen there unless we got married. The second was bisexual and my fiancé. She knew what was up but acted very hurt. @Adi I was just thinking the same thing about my username. Although, it could be read as Big Guy 50.
Sort of the opposite for me. Originally I thought I was gay, but eventually I realized that my attraction to women was still strong. I didn't seem to want to have to choose one way or the other.
These lyrics are how I feel right now. Farewell To The Old Me by Dar Williams How can I ask love to hold the mystery When just look at me It's all push and pull collateral I don't want to be the one who gets the next surprise I'll plan it out this time Though I used to think that things were meant to be So farewell to the old me Farewell to the old me My life is working better now It's always changing anyhow I danced a lot of nights until the grass was wet It wasn't over yet 'Round 'bout 3 a. m. you made a friend And I followed a lot of vital crazy thoughts Because it's where the meaning was And I tried to find it every other way So farewell to the old me Farewell to the old me My life is getting better now But always changing anyhow But I can turn on the charm Show them nothing more Than what I've done before It's nothing much new But it'll do 'Cause I don't wanna be the one who makes you laugh out loud I wanna make you proud And you always said you knew what I could be
This is interesting as I was in a similar situation. Had a GF after a long marriage ended in divorce. Never really considered anything with guys until I meet a guy that opened up the " gay" world to me. For six months I told myself I was bisexual but in fact I was losing all in interest in my GF especially sexually. In the end I knew it was over when I had to use a ED drug just to be intimate with her. Over those six months I slowly came hate every minute of intimacy with her to the point of being ill over it. ( Of course unfair to her but I couldn't help it) I knew then my transition was over, and I was 100 % gay. That was three years ago, I have never looked back. At least in my circles I now see many more men and women abandoning heterosexuality via a bisexual path to fully embracing openly homosexuality. I am glad I am one of them. While is was not easy it was the right thing for me. I think there are many many more of us out there that first thought living straight but in fact gay. Good luck to all.
Interesting story. Glad things worked out for you. I think the thing to remember here is that this isn't One Size Fits All deal. There's a lot of variation in what people think and feel.
YAY! Congratulations! (*hug*) Now I'm not the only one on this thread that's openly gone from bi to gay. I might still be the only one to go from straight to bi to gay.