Thank you ,good luck to you too ! It sort of reassure me to see there are others around my age group that are accepting their sexuality just now , I was sort of feeling like a late bloomer until I found this forum... I am calling my local gay helpline tomorrow to see if there is some support group around my area , I think I should start there first before telling my family.
32 is BY NO MEANS too late to come out. Heck, I'm 34, and I'm just going through this process myself. Like you, I'm a virgin. In this process, I've always felt that "I don't want to end up 'The 40 Year Old Virgin'" . It's not too late, and it's easier for some people than others. I'm on the side of "not easy", and I've been in psychotherapy (which I highly recommend) since accepting myself. I'm out to some people, as you can see, but still somewhat in the closet. If someone asks me right now, I'd be completely honest with them. Be yourself, a whole new life awaits!
I came out at 52, and I am happier than I've been in a long time. I wish I were as young as you and coming out then...
You made me laugh with the "40 year old virgin" comment , I actually often think that to myself as well ....
Like I am--er, I mean a guy I know really well is. ---------- Post added 25th Aug 2013 at 01:17 PM ---------- Seriously, I really don't know that it makes much of a difference being a 40 year old virgin vs. a 39 year old virgin. It's just numbers. Plus if losing virginity is all that matters, that could be done pretty fast by a hookup. But at this point, the hookup idea makes me cringe. It works for some, but not for me. I'd rather wait until I find something better. Not necessarily Mr. Right, but certainly something better than a guy I meet Friday evening, have sex with Friday night, and never see again after really early Saturday. Besides, in today's world there aren't too many people who beat the 40 Year Old Virgin character at his own game!
I agree with you on that but seriously before this forum I believed I was a special case for being a virgin at my age , its nice to see I am not on my own.I don't regret , If I had full on sex with the girls I had dated , it would have made my coming out even more difficult then it already is...
Hi there, and welcome to EC! As others have mentioned, you are never too old to come out. I started coming out when I was 31. Though I as well, wished that I would have come out earlier - especially when I realized how much energy it took, and the stresses associated with 'hiding' or not being myself, I had. Once I started coming out, I started feeling quite differently.
I have been in the closets for decades. I was afraid of shaming the reputation of my parents. I always wanted make them proud. However, how could having a gay son make them proud? Also, a lot of my family has issues with discrimination and bigotry. Therefore, I have stayed comfortably in the closets. Was I happy there, not at all. However, there was no conflict or chaos. You question is: Are you too old to come out? I do not believe so. I knew that I was attracted to boys when I was in the seventh grade at the age of 12/13. I have repressed these feelings. I am now 54. I started coming out in late July. At the time I was 53. My birthday is in early August. If I can come out late, so can you. Is this easy, not at all. You, if you are like me, will experience some wonderful feeling of being who you really are. That being said, there are emotions and denials that will also take you down. I wish you the best of luck!
I can't really understand your situation - I'm only fifteen - but in my opinion it's never to late to come out! You'll feel free and happy after!
I agree with this like 1000%. You'll feel so much better in your life knowing that you're yourself and happy. Never feel too old. Plus you're only 32, you're not old at all.
Forgive me for skipping all the responses, but I turn 41 next month, am also a virgin, just discovered what Genderqueer is and that I'm it, and, also, I think, my bisexuality, and I am impatient to come out! It is never too late! …now to go back and read what everyone else wrote.
Let's say you wake up at 2 pm outside the gates of Disneyland with an all-day pass in your hand. You can bemoan the fact that you missed all the fun stuff in the morning hours, or you can get your ass through the gates and have a kick-ass time for the rest of the day. I know which one gets my vote. Lex
LOL had to laugh when I saw that comment I've never seen the movie/don't even know its story-line but I am just that..40..and virgin :eek:
Wow, seems like there are a bunch of us that are 30-40 year old virgins! Me, too. I also avoided that movie like the plague, but now that I'm slowly embracing my homosexuality, I'm like pshaw, who cares, I'm gay. Who cares if I'm a virgin?! I'm not sure if that makes sense, but that's how I feel. (It probably doesn't make sense at all.) But now it's like... what's next... because... uh, I want to have sex now, just not with women and not necessarily with sex-o-maniac gay machines. I think I just have to figure out what now are my sexual boundaries? What do I believe about sex? I think people assume that gay = free sex buffet. But it was only when I realized that being gay was about a love that I've never experienced before, then did I realize that gay was not just sex. Heteros in the media also are sex crazed maniacs. God... where is the love? Anyway, I'll get off my freakin' soap box now. Sorry for vent-ramble-verbal gangnam style dance on your face. (!)
I have been thinking a lot about that myself to be honest , I have been refusing straight sex but I want to experience sex at some point but what is gay sex like?But first thing first I have to adjust to my new normal and I will discover those things as they comes along...
Hey there , just an update. I just got in touch with a local gay support line , we spoke for about 30 minutes , although he did not really told me anything new , it really helped me telling someone. He think I should write a letter where I explain everything to my mum/sister so that I don't get nervous , I just might do that. He also told me about a local gay bar I could visit and that I should not be nervous going there on my own (I had the notion that I would look like a perv on my own lol) - My mother is coming Thursday, my birthday is Saturday .. Although I'm off work Saturday maybe I should give her the letter/tell her Friday , it might sound weird on my birthday :"Happy Birthday to me , mum I'm giving myself the birthday gift of you knowing that I'm gay!!" Yes,probably not the best move. But I am definitely coming out to her first , wish me good luck! And thank you guys for all the support , might sound corny but it means a lot to someone like me....
Not corny at all - in some ways it will be the best gift you could/ will ever give yourself- an honest life! As to you comment earlier about feeling like a teenager. I think that's totally normal, and common. Think about it you are dealing with feelings and emotions that our straight count parts deal with as teenagers. PS - came out in stages between 35and 40. Best thing I ever did. Hard yes, but my only regret is that it took me soo long to love myself the way I deserve.
