I have a friend who's from Hawaii and is attending UConn in the fall. He Facebooked me and told me he's staying with a family member in Connecticut for the time being before he moves into the dorm. Tomorrow, he's going to go and meet his roommate for the first time and is worried about what his roommate will think about the fact that he's gay and if he should tell him. Does a college roommate have the right to know?
If your friend has an active social life, how can his roommate not know? It may not be a question of rights, but rather common courtesy...but I've never lived in such arrangements, so I wouldn't know for sure...
I fail to see how he has a RIGHT to know, that implies that it requires some sort of approval...a better question might be if he finds out now that his roommate is a homophobe, is it too late to change his living arrangements
He's never meet the roommate before. All he told me was that he was meeting the roommate halfway to meet him for the first time.
Resident Advisors can move people around if roommates don't get along. That's always an option. The question is whether this friend is comfortable outing himself to people... If yes, then it cannot hurt to come out and see if the roommate is a homophobe or not. If yes, alternative rooming arrangements can be made by talking to an RA. If not, then things could be peachy!
A persons sexuality is really nobody else's business. I think what you're asking is if your friend has an obligation to tell his roommate that he's gay. My thought on that is absolutely not. Maybe I'm wrong in that as I still hard have a hard time telling people I'm gay. If anyone thinks I'm wrong here please say so. But my train of thought here is a persons sexuality is their own business and only needs to be disclosed or discussed if that person is comfortable with it. In my eyes homophobia is still very prevalent and care needs to be taken when discussing ones sexuality.
I never tell anyone, unless I've known them for a long time and feel it appropriate. I'd give it a while. Just don't be inviting random boys over every night. room mates suck all the time, doesn't matter who they are.
I mean, he doesn't HAVE to tell him but I would imagine that living with someone they would eventually find out, especially in a college setting. He doesn't have to though. He could meet the guy, talk with him for a while, see how the guy is, if he's nice and what kind of a guy he is, then decide if it'd be a good idea to tell him. My 2cents.
Does his roommate have a right to know? No! But if he want to have a honest relationship with his new roommate he should tell him. This way it gives them time to react. If his new roommate is not into gay people then he can go ask for a change in roommates before the year begins. But then who knows his roommate might be gay also.
A college room-mate doesn't have the RIGHT to know, but think about the cloud your friend will be living under for the entire year to come if he doesn't tell him he's gay. It may be a moment of discomfort, but it will be easy in comparison to struggling with this issue for the whole school year. If the room-mate has a problem with it, it will also be much easier to deal with it at the beginning of the semester than later on. I say, tell him.