I recently accepted myself as gay, and can now just say to myself, alone in my room, the words "I'm gay" and not feel weird or guilty. I've waited a while and now want to tell my closest friend. I've probably googled "how to come out" about thirteen thousand, three hundred and fifty-six times now, and I don't know if there's any more to be said about how to come out, except for how to word it, which I can't find any articles or message board posts about it except for "bring up something about the LGBT community and see how they react, then tell them if the reaction is positive," I'm almost certain he's already suspecting it and asking him about the LGBT community would basically confirm his suspicion instead of me straight up telling him. In other words, I don't want to do it that way. :L Sometimes I want to just blurt it out, but never get it to come out my mouth. I've come on here before for help with knowing yourself as gay, and coming out posts, so I know you guys can help. I was thinking just while on Skype one night I'll start sharing my screens and draw up the words "I'm gay" in Sketchbook Pro 6 and just see how he reacts. I'm not very scared of losing him, I know he won't have a problem with it, but I simply don't know how to word it. Any ideas? Share your stories of how you said it to people.
I had trouble with the wording of it as well, I dislike making it a huge deal so it took a while to come up with phrasing I was comfortable with... To a male friend who asked what my type was early on in the questioning process: "I don't know, I'm starting to think it's just not guys at all." To my mom: "I have a date tonight and she's going to park her car in front of the house so make sure there's space." To my sister: "Just so you know, it's possible that I'll be bringing dates around in the near future and they would most likely be ladies."
If you're not afraid of losing him, tell him naturally, I think that's the best way to do it, if it's naturally. A lot of the time, we are forced out of our closet from anxiety, hurt, desperation and depression, but it doesn't always have to be a bumpy ride out. You could always watch a movie together, and whenever a girl with tits come up, you can say... Damn isn't she hot...? And your friend could go... 'yeah' and you say, but you know what I think, I think (insert dude's name here) is an absolute sex god... And watch him look at you in a mysterious gaze in shock and awe and have a laugh about it, say that you're gay during that.
"I want to share something with you. I'm gay" worked for me the first time. I had other unrelated ideas to finish as a backup in case i couldn't say those 2 words. If you really can't say it then your idea is fine.
Ha. I may be an insensitive guy, but I usually text it. We're in the world of texting anyway. I think it's better because it gives the person a chance to digest what they're reading and then THINK before they respond. So it's just perfect to me. When I told my first close friend, I was nervous. So I did it before bed. I think I stayed up till 3 am before I actually sent that message. And after I pressed send, the shit was gone and I couldn't take it back. That's another reason why I like it over text. I can't take it back. So yeah, I sent that message and laid down and went to sleep and just hoped for the best. And in the morning, he let me know he didn't care I've only come out to two people in person I think.. not sure exactly, but I like text better because I don't like being the center of anyone's attention. When I told my other best friend, I knew he had gay friends and didn't care, so I just sent him a text that said, "Hey Alex, you know I'm gay, right?" He said, "Nope. But it doesn't matter dude" I think the simpler the better. You don't want anyone to have to think too damn hard. I tried that before too lol.
My choice of words for my first time coming out was simply "I'm ready to come out of the closet." It means the exact same thing as "I'm gay" but makes it a little less blunt, in my opinion.
I told most people when I was actively dating someone and I said, "i'm dating someone....and it's a guy." That was pretty much it. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be.
The first person I told was my closest friend. I'd been friends with him for 16 years, so felt fairly comfortable chatting with him about anything. I arranged to meet up with him for lunch one day last year and told him I had to tell him something and he went through a list of things it could be... In the end I just said... "I'm gay!". I tried to say it as though it was no big deal, which worked perfectly for me when I came out to the rest of my friends. Previous to coming out to my friends though I had stated that I was supportive of the LGBT community. So I guess I gave them a little bit of a heads up. Whether they acknowledged that or not I don't know. Telling my parents was the hardest. I couldn't get the words out as hard as I tried. In the end I felt a letter would be the best way to say it. I know it sounds like a bit of a cop out. But i feel it was the best way for me.
I personally like saying it in person because it gives you a chance to connect with the person and telling what you really feel, as to what to say, it really does come to what you want to say. I planned a little paragraph to say to my friend, and then the moment came, and I literally said, "Hey. I'm gay." So think about what you want to say, but if it changes don't be upset. and good luck! Congrats on accepting it! That first step is the hardest, if you can get yourself to love you, then the rest of the world will be so much easier. And I like Azrael's way I did that with a friend it's always funny Best of luck!
Thanks for all the responses, guys! I was able to come out to him. He felt embarrassed because he ate some food he thought was his, but turns out it was another person's. I told him I had something I could say to take his mind off of it, said "um" about 62 times, then uttered "I'm gay." There was a silence. He was completely acceptant, but he was really really shocked, and didn't believe me for hours. He was so excited, he had to tell others, constantly saying "Can I tell (X)? OOOH, OOH, CAN I TELL (Y)???!!! ohhh I've gotta tell (Z), can I tell (Z)???" I'll have to come out to other people in this month or other months. If I come across any other bumps in the road, I'll be sure to come here.
Yeah I think a lot of people find it more comfortable to tell people via text instead of face to face.
Any way is fine. Text or face to face or Skype. Knowing me I would probably text but it is up to. I think you're worrying a tad too much, like all of us do before we come out. If you can tackle that you'll be fine to tell your friend anyway
