Outed in workplace by colleague

I have the same impression as Tightrope. Sounds to me like the guy is very conficted about his own sexuality.

I have never acted remotely like this guy, but certainly when I was younger and more or less totally in denial, I was extremely ambivalent about gay men I knew. I'd flirt but not admit to myself that I was flirting, fantasize about a guy then completely shut down. I can recall times I came onto guys and then acted as though it had never happened, and then I'd be cool toward them.

But there's a big difference between that and harassing someone in the workplace. This guy's behavior has crossed a line, and he needs to be called out.

 

As a former Human Resources Director for a Hospital system, mediation can be very helpful. Hopefully your HR office is welcoming and confidential. I have been outed at work when I was not ready...it was not fun. I have been the boss of an employee that was very homophobic. I guess the goal is to do the best job you can do and report the idiots. My best to you in this situation!

 

"My instinct and the sum of the evidence tells me there's something reciprocal going on here, " I'd trust those instincts. Sounds right. Don't know how that helps, or what you can do with it. But hard to imagine this kind of reaction (from him), not drivrn by reciprical feelings out of denial and self-reproach.
I hope this works out for you ... both. People hurt, and then turn and hurt others.