who has homophobia worse

I'm a bisexual, but when I say that I am, some people tend to think that it's a cry for help or something. I tend to be 'pushed' towards heterosexuality more often than not because it's apparently better for me to show my straight side than my gay side.

 

Historically, gay men have been targeted by anti-sodomy laws, while women have more-or-less slipped under the radar, and it's still this way in some parts of the world. Also, I think society as a whole finds the idea of male-male sex and relationships as more threatening, since it practically flies in the face of gender norms: people assume all gay men have anal sex, associating it with a "woman's" position, or see feminine gay men as the direct opposite of what a "real man" should be. A butch lesbian might be discriminated against, too, for being unfeminine, but at least being "like a man" is seen as something of a step-up, not seen as weak, inferior, or knee-slapping hilarious.

This isn't to say lesbians are accepted 100%, since, a lot of straight male "approval" is often times nothing more than shallow objectification. That, and because women are already assumed to be close to one another and permitted certain thoughts and behaviors, lesbians sometimes struggle to be taken seriously and maintain the type of visibility and visibility gay men have, even within LGBT circles.

And women can be just as homophobic, but in different ways. Cases of women taking part in physical violence against gay men aside, I can definitely say I've heard my share of "faggot!" and threats involving their boyfriends, male family members, or friends. I've also experienced objectification from "supportive" straight women first-hand.

It's difficult (and divisive, unnecessary) to try and figure out who has it worse, and these discussions tend to go in circles, because you have gender, sexuality, and dozens of other variables. We have unique problems to be addressed and should try and support one another, since the problems are usually shared.

 

Lesbians don't have it easier for being tokenized...

 

I'm going off work related experiences and college experiences.

I think gay or bi men have it worse, if detectable, than do lesbian or bi women. If a woman pushes herself, and excels in academic and athletic competition, competitiveness is a value the U.S. (and Canada) appreciate, so they sometimes get a pass. Comments are minimal, like "she's really athletic, you know," or "she's really competitive in school."

If one stumbles onto a gay or bi man who is atypical of standard gender norms, there is a tendency to think less of him because he may be more individualistic, less of a conformist, and has interests which are not mainstream. If the person is fairly mainstream, they also risk some ostracism because there's a "I though you were .... " sentiment. Kind of sad, really. BTDT.

 

Really, there is no group that has it worse then a whole, because it really depends on several different factors. For the most part, I have found that men are more accepting of gay women, and women are more accepting of gay men. I have had my fare share of "Women doing it is hot, guys doing it is just gross" From guys, and "Look at that disgusting dyke" from women who openly support gay men. (I tend not to come out to those kind of women...)

It's all just a big homophobic mess of jumble!

 

I think in general lesbians do have it easier to find acceptance but that doesn't mean that there's a HUGE difference. I think most people have a problem with people of their own sex being gay.
My school friends are a great example.
Once in arts lesson, one of my female friends said "Aww I wanna have a male gay friend, that would be so cute!"
And I was really shocked and said: "Wow, that comment is really sexist!"
And she answered: "Why? I like gay people! But not lesbians, ew, they're disgusting. Guys only love them cause they think they're hot like normal girls but they all look like men." I was already exploding at that moment (because did she really say "normal"???) and then she added: "Besides, I don't know how they have sex."
Haha, seriously I was so close to explaining it all to her.

So yeah, lesbians don't always have it easier but I think generally men tend to be more aggressive and that's why it feels like gay men aren't as accepted as lesbians are.

 

There are different aspects to the struggles. Gay men have to deal with prejudice as to a perceived loss of masculinity. Lesbians have to deal with being fetishised. And multisexuals have to deal with prejudice from all sides. And of course, we all have to deal with a general prejudice as well. So its not really comparing the same thing. I think we should stop comparing how much of a hard time a specific group is having, and just work towards ending homophobia.

 

Transsexuals have it the hardest. There is no point in the rest of us playing the oppression olympics though. We all have our difficulties.

 

women are generally fine with gay men, men are usually fine with lesbians.

I'd say it's both about the same.

 

When anti Homosexuality laws were passed in the UK during the 1800's, Queen Victoria refused to include Women in this bill, as she thought it was ludicrous to even contemplate, that Women would do such things with each other, so being a Lesbian was never made illegal

 

:roflmao:

I think they might have had something to say about it, if they hadn't been absolutely delighted that they wouldn't be prosecuted for loving eachother.

 

My first response - "oh shit, here we go." This thread will probably be blocked quicker than Usain Bolt on a racetrack.

We can all argue until the cows come home about who has it harder. I definitely have my own opinions, but no matter how bitchy I am right now or how tired I am of this cold, I won't say them because I refuse to add to the fire.