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This one girl.

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by damn liar, Jul 22, 2013.

  1. damn liar

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    So it's been quite the struggle to come to terms fully with the fact I'm gay and I've not reached total acceptance yet. But there's this one girl who's a very good friend, we're close (even though we've not seen each other face to face yet, she's from another city) and I'm wondering if I also have feelings for her.

    It kind of sucks, because.. I don't know, this may sound dumb, but ultimately I want fall in love and be with a guy.. I don't know, it scares and confuses me.. what does this mean? Do I have feelings for this girl? And if so, what should I do?
     
  2. Azrael

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    Good day to you my friend.

    Perhaps you are trying to label yourself, as in gay, bi, etc... and you've come to a conclusion that you are gay. Just because you are gay doesn't mean you can't have romantic feelings, sexual feelings for the other sex. Sexuality is very fluid, it's not set black or white.

    If you love her, then you love her, that's it, no issue with that. If you don't then you don't. If you love her as a friend, then you love her as a friend, if you love her more than that, then you do.

    Don't try to categorise yourself, it brings you stress, just love whoever you want to love. If you are still questioning, don't act too hastily, be careful with every step.

    Good luck.
     
  3. damn liar

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    Thanks for replying, Azrael! :slight_smile: I just read that one thing that differentiates platonic love from romantic love is a desire to kiss that person.. which is not the case here. So that gave me about 5 seconds of peace, before I started overthinking it again and second guessing myself.

    Le sigh.
     
  4. AudreyMarie

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    The only person that can tell you if you have feelings for your female friends is yourself. Nobody else can read you :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
  5. CuriousBunny

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    Many homosexual men actually have feelings towards certain women, hence the Kinsey Scale was invented. Nobody is a perfect 6 on that!
     
  6. alwaysdreaming

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    Just because you think you're gay doesn't mean you couldn't have feelings for a girl too from time to time. And It's possible that you think you love her because you're such good friends, but you really don't.
     
  7. HeyAshley

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    you're the only person who knows whether or not you like this girl, you can't ask someone else whether or not you like someone. but considering that it's even on your mind, i'm sure you do feel at least some attraction / emotions for her.
     
  8. cm81990

    cm81990 Guest

    I think you are in the stage where you acknowledge and possibly accept your same sex attraction, but you are grasping for any piece of evidence to prove yourself straight. The doubts and confusion are natural. I know it's tough to accept yourself as gay. It takes a lot of time to get used to. Your mind will play tricks on you.
     
  9. greatwhale

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    You need to find a guy, my friend.

    I know it's difficult, but you need to experience the difference between what it's like with a guy before you go any further with her. Only then will you know the difference.

    For most of us, it's obvious, but for many of us it's not, I was that way for a long time, until I shed the illusions...I'm not saying find a guy to experiment with, you've been here long enough to have lived a "gay life", at least on the inside, for this to be more than just a passing whim. Find your guy, you can't be the only one in Romania who's gay!

    Best of luck!