Every time it happens, I start to hate myself even more and wishing I was dead. I can't stand sexual attraction and I don't know why. I feel disgusted with myself for wanting to sleep with women I don't even know and because I know if they were willing, I would do it without a second thought.:icon_sad: But on the other hand, I know they wouldn't like me having those feelings for them (even if they're gay) and that makes me hate myself even more. And then I can't deal with my emotions so I end up cutting myself and restricting the amount I eat, drink, sleep...:rolle:
My friend is like this and I'd like to know more info about what could cause this and how a person can cope so that I can offer him support.
I think you're giving yourself a hard time for something that you have no control over. It's okay to be sexually attracted to someone of the same sex. Is someone making you feel bad for being a lesbian? Cutting is not going to solve your problems, so please stop. It's a very addictive habit that's hard to stop cold turkey, but please try. Start by wearing a rubber band around your wrist and or ankles, and every time you feel the urge to cut, pop it. And you have to eat or else your body is going to start shutting down. I hated myself for years due to my attraction towards women, and I used to self harm. Every little thing was a trigger for me, but I learned to cope with my problems. It's not easy, but you have to try at the least. What you're doing to yourself is not healthy at all and perhaps you should seek therapy. Please believe that there's nothing wrong with being a lesbian; your attractions are natural and absolutely normal. You have nothing to be ashamed of, and I'm here if you ever wanna talk. Take care (*hug*)
Listen, you are who you are and you shouldn't be ashamed or disgusted by it. Don't beat yourself up over something as wonderful as your own sexuality. Remember that here at EC, we all love you, no matter your flaws! (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)
I wish I could be half as nice to myself as you are to me. (*hug*) I'm not even sure if same sex attraction is the problem. Just any kind of sexual attraction to anyone (who in my case happen to be women) and the fact that I have no control over it. I feel like I need to be in control of my own body at all times but I can't even do that anymore.
first things first: cutting yourself is the stupidest thing that you can do, or that anyone can do for that matter. all it does is cause more pain and it fixes absolutely nothing. there is nothing that you get from cutting yourself other than more pain than you're already dealing with. and probably a bloody mess. there's nothing about it that makes sense in any kind of light what-so-ever. secondly, there isn't a damn thing wrong with being sexually attracted to another woman. 99% of the population of this website are attracted to the same sex and i'd guess over 75% have a sexually active mind, if not mind and body both. and there's millions of other lesbians out there who are sexually attracted to females. there's nothing wrong with it. nothing to be ashamed of. don't feel like you're the only one or that it's wrong. killing people is wrong, being sexually attracted to other girls is not wrong.
I know there isn't anything wrong with it but I still don't know how to deal with it.:icon_sad: It always makes me want to kill myself because I know how out of my league these women are. I shouldn't have cut last night (and this morning) I know, because now I can't go anywhere with arms like this, clearly I didn't think it through..as usual.:rolle: It doesn't hurt by the way, so there is literally no pain, but I'd feel so ashamed if people found out about it!:eek::icon_redf -- And the worst thing about it is, I'm still tempted! All the time. It feels too good.
You can't control your sexual attractions or your emotions. Why does that make you angry? How do you know another woman wouldn't like you? You won't give them a chance. Is control so important that You will risk your health to keep control? Just some things to think about. BTW I have control issues as well.
I know but I want to. I used to be able to repress attractions so well until I came out to myself.:dry: It only makes me angry because I know I'll never have a chance with the kind of women I seem to like. I don't even like myself. And the women I fall for are too perfect to even look at me. Or at least I think they're perfect but others can't see what I see in them.:rolle: That's like saying I have terrible taste, but there's nothing I can do about that. I'm not into feminine girls and if my family found out what type of women I liked, they'd be disgusted with me. It's either my health or my sanity...But I'm not risking anything. I'm not even thin.:icon_sad: ---------- Post added 17th Jul 2013 at 06:24 PM ---------- Okay, maybe it's not just my family's judgement I'm afraid of. I might not be as comfortable with it either. I mean, I am okay with it but I still don't understand why I'm attracted to these women. Why do I find them so attractive? And I'm also a bit scared of people saying I might as well find a man then because I prefer women who are masculine and dominant...But I really don't like men. It's women I want and I know that by now but what if others will question it? What if they'll say I'm not a real lesbian because I don't like girly girls?
I've gone through some of these bad feelings myself (thinking people are out of my league)--I still sometimes do. I'm praying you find the inner strength and peace to stop hurting yourself and to accept yourself. (*hug*)
