What Are You Thinking?

Rundown of my ranting of my horrible day: Don't read

First, the damn pharmacy isn't answering my calls, and I'm fresh out of medicine that I need so now I either wait til later or drive down there and chances are they are closed, or my medicine isn't ready in which case I get to sleep with the pain tonight.

Second, I don't know why I even try with dating. This guy is awesome. He's really cool, and likes the things I like. He's considerate and nice, but wayyy out of my league. He's thin and muscled and beautiful. And what am I? Fat. Why would a guy like that ever look at me. We've been talking for a while and he's cool and I think he's into it, but the minute he looks at me, he'll change his mind. My body and face were made to be love repellants. And you know what sucks? I don't care what he looks like. I never did. I liked him before I even saw him. But because I look like an ogre, he'll run away.

And lastly, the disposal is broken so I can't cook anything for dinner...

Alright, my rants over.

 

I hate this...texts keep coming through, but my screen is smashed so I can't respond or even see who it is....and since I'm a drama queen, in MY world that means multiple people I know have died this week. Or decided that they were gay and are madly in love with me (I mean they *couldn't* just be checking in, right?). Regardless, I need a new phone, grrr.

 

(*hug) Sorry to hear that. Does your mum know that he's accusing you of that? What's wrong with uni?

Hmm. Some things that people use as positive outlets for frustration are playing a sport, working out, writing a letter to the person who's upsetting you and NOT sending it, talking to a friend or counselor, etc. Are any of those things that you think would work for you?

 

I want to cuddle so badly right now. Why ya gotta be in Alabama?!?

 

Just in case there were any questions...

 

I need to find a good Harry Potter RP.

 

Ooh, yay, I have a date for next Sunday we're going to drive up to DC and hang out. And BONUS, he's cute and actually 100% my type! Awesome sauce, I'm excited

 

Something today made me remember this feeling I had for quite a while about a year ago... it was such an odd feeling. It was a good feeling but I couldn't really figure out what it was. I still don't, but I kind of miss feeling that way.

I guess it all just has to do with how I went to school, had a job, was recovering from a breakup yet developing a crush, etc - stuff was happening. Whereas right now all I feel is emptiness and worry about my money and when I will finally get a ***** job.

 

just watched a israeli lgbt film , and feeling very sad for a reason that i ignore since the end of the movie is pretty nice actually , weird !!

 

When a really minor acquaintance of yours randomly comes to you about his problems (namely, bullying and some LGBT related stuff) and you want to help out in some way, but aren't sure of what to do.

What on earth can I do really?

 

Parents are out of the house- yay. I'm honestly beginning to crack. Feel guilty that I can't stand being around my family but can't keep being their daughter and continue to do so with sanity intact.

 

My husband says there's nothing wrong with being one of the guys and that I can be a guy and still be a mom. Does not compute. My brain is broken. :dead:

What I'm saying is that I am a man. I'm not "one of the guys". I'm just a guy. I'm really afraid that he's embarrassed of me. He tells me to just take a "don't ask, don't tell" type of approach when dealing with my family, which I guess probably really is best, but if I really do decide to say something, is he going to try to stop me? Why can't I just live my life as a man? I hate being a "wife". It seems like the only times he ever encourages me to be a man is when he can throw in my face how unmanly I am at this point in time. I don't even know how to talk about it anymore. I understand why he doesn't feel it necessary for me to label myself, but I just wish it didn't always come out like he's trying to talk me out of it.

 

Yeah, I drive around town with Britney Spears singing "work bitch" on loud with all my windows down. What of it?

 

I'm not really sure why I come back to EC. It hasn't been that much of a help to me. There also doesn't seem to be much trans support, either. What little there seems to be tends to be more geared towards MtF than FtM.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe other's have felt like they've gotten support, but I'm just not seeing it.

 

I feel like this site is actually pretty well split. I've seen a LOT of sites that are basically ALL gay boys, and everyone else is treated like an outsider, but this seems to have a nice variety of gay guys AND gay girls, trans*, bi, etc. regulars.

And actually, truthfully, it feels like there's more FtM's than MtF's, to me, personally. I always felt like I was pretty much the only MtF who used the site as much as I did, besides a couple others when I was still in transition, but then there's loots of FtM's, around, who post often.

And then in terms of support, I dunno, I feel like people on here try to help where they can, but there's only so much that can be done over the internet, ya know? But I feel like the users on here have good hearts and offer support when possible.

 

[YOUTUBE][/YOUTUBE]

Ask and ye shall receive. Got to put in what you expect to get, man.

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Is it just me or has my family been using more female pronouns/gendered terms since I came out...? My dad never calls me miss and yet I'm now "miss (legal name)".
:dry: Nice try...

 

...Yeah. I'm not going to give advice when I'm (mostly) confused myself. That's just a bad case of the blind leading the blind.

 

Shoes
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shoes
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shoes
shoes
shoes
shoes
shoes
shoes

 

I'm so glad I was born in the mid-90's and didn't have to listen to the music of those days