What Are You Thinking?

Basically took the words out of my mouth. My girlfriend dumped me two days ago because in the six months we were together she apparently lost all attraction to girls. I'm fat and plain and can't walk unaided and can't hold down a job and crippled with depression and anxiety, and she's this amazing gorgeous talented person who's far too good for me. I'm screwed up enough that people don't just turn away from me, they turn their backs on my entire gender. I'm just that unattractive.

 

^ (*hug*)

I wish I could give the both of you a good real-life hug.

 

i suspect my barber has always been jealous of my hair, that's why he cuts it badly, yes, that's why.

 

4 days after coming out to my wife, things are still pretty much calm and rational at home. Lots of questions, lots of worries that I will simply disappear and leave her with the kids and a pile of bills, and lots of panic about the future--all things I totally understand her worrying about. I keep waiting for some anger or accusations, because she would have every right, and I know it won't all be rosy and amicable. But so far there has been no hate, no viciousness, no bitterness, and I am impressed and amazed and thankful. We may come out of this friends after all.

 

Lost my voice due to cold. I somehow am not too cut up about this...

 

I don't know what to do with myself right now.

 

I just made an idiot of myself in front of my neighbour by telling my friend out loud (not releasing neighbour could hear) that a colleague in work many years ago 'accused' me of being a 'rug muncher' before I even knew what that meant.

 

Going to my first Pride Alliance meeting tonight [as a "Straight Ally"], very nervous, but also excited.

 

Today is my 2nd anniversary of joining EC. Tomorrow is my 20th birthday. Idk how to feel.

 

Me too. Do you have any voice at all? If you do, try laughing. It's hilarious. :lol:

 

For class, I have to update my C++ compiler to be compliant with C++11. "No problem," I say, "I'll just update to the newest version of GCC."

But life is never that easy. I've had to update five other libraries so far. So much for getting it done before lab...

On the bright side, this is letting me learn more about computers, so I won't complain too much.

 

My voice is coming back (and it's deeper, see how long this lasts ) and yeah, I've got a stupid laugh regardless. Now it just sounds like I've gotten back from a cigarette break.

 

So much homework.. so little time.

 

haha. At least your voice changes in a good way:icon_bigg (for you!! I answered the phone and the person thought I was my brother!!:rolle.

 

...

...

...

I think I broke the Ubuntu side of my laptop. >.> I can't open anything, it wouldn't shut down, and now it won't start up. [Edit: For future reference, don't mess around with glibc. Or, at least, don't overwrite the current version unless you're 100% sure of what you're doing.]

Oops.

If worst comes to worst, it shouldn't be too hard to just reinstall the operating system (it's only "loop-mounted", whatever that means, rather than an entirely separate system). But I will lose some backup files from my summer job. Hopefully they won't be needed...

 

A suit and tie would be nice...

---------- Post added 5th Sep 2013 at 11:32 AM ----------

So my dad's got a job interview and he's basically a shoe-in for the position. Were he to get it, he'll be back on day shift and while still having to commute, no more commutes at eleven pm. And slight chance family's going to then move up to the Portland/Vancouver area to be closer to the job while I stay back in Salem.

Going to be interesting to see what this job's going to mean if he gets it...

 

Cars suck...

Adults acting like children suck...

Last minute plan-changing requests suck too, but I can cope with that... But due to the previously aforementioned things that suck, plans probably won't change. I'll just have to grow a set and say "No".

Other than that, sunshine and rainbows. Sunshine and muthafuckin' rainbows.

At least my ability to fix things has improved slightly. And I'm getting better at handling people's tension-provoked overreacting. Both are valuable life skills.

I just want, as Freddy Mercury so poetically phrased it, Somebody to Love.

Obviously it wouldn't improve my problem, but I sort of thought of that earlier today.

Now that I'm back in my wifi, my thoughts just sort of stream out and clog up this thread again...

I wonder if emoji work here. I am sort of addicted to emoji.

 

Oh sure, random online stranger. I'd love to answer your inquiry and let you know what I've got in my pants and I'll be sure to measure it for you too. Just as soon as you do the same. And tell me how you pee.

 

So I'm just sitting here in a park watching two guys I was with today play tennis. It's hotter than hell v_v

 

It's sad getting an invitation for dinner from people you've not seen for a while, and your first instinct is that you can't go because you're on holiday, but then you realise that you wouldn't want to go even if you were available... Depression stopping me wanting to do things, or just part of the inevitable realisation that my life is irreversibly changed and I have to move on from beings friends with all of these people?