What Are You Thinking?

^that's gonna take some getting used to.

 

Yes that is going to take some getting used to.

Wish I could use the chat room.

 

Yeah... Going to take some getting used to myself.

-

Sort of wanted to apply for Advisor but figured better give it a couple years when I've got it worked out and actually have some credentials to speak of.

 

You don't have to be an official adviser to help out. It seems like this place is growing a lot and that's really exciting!

 

I applied. I have no credentials. I'm confident.

 

Been thinking a lot today about why life is so hard. Come to the only logical conclusion (for an atheist) that karma must exist in some sort of natural law. I'm being punished for all the bad things I've done throughout my life. Instead of coming to me one by one, they're just punishing me all at once. And then I'm so weak minded that I'm overreacting to everything and just crying at it to go away. And it isn't going to stop. Because I'm a bad person. I'm going to carry on doing bad things and life is going to carry on punishing me. And it seems like it would be so much easier to just bring attention to the get out clause of this particular deal.

 

Might get a early night

 

Link.. if I become a full member, you and I are going to have a nice long chat. I have some experiences behind me that I want to talk to you about and I think that you can come out of this with the right mindset. I really do.
Also.. (*hug*) but I kind of also want to just thump you in the forehead (in the nicest way possible, of course) or something and hope something clicks.

 

(*hug*)

---------- Post added 18th Aug 2013 at 11:06 PM ----------

---

In other news, my friend sent me another new Facebook message - this time I'm pretty glad he pretended the one I sent him didn't exist, but I apologised for it anyway. However, I have now changed my Facebook to the correct setting such that everybody relevant can see my depressing statuses and realise why I may be sending them angry messages.

Also, I have a long overdue doctor's appointment tomorrow. Checklist: - Ask to get off these antidepressants. Not sure whether I want to try any new ones out, but I definitely know that I am done with SSRIs forever. - Get a referral for a dermatologist. Not even sure if that's something you can casually ask your doctor for but I will happily have a breakdown in her office if that's what it takes.

 

Immature? Maybe. Seems attention-seeking? Perhaps. Will it make you sound crazy and desperate? Probably. Are you still going to do it? Yes. I'm too curious, and I have to know what they both think. I feel like maybe if I ask them directly...
I'm going to send both of them a message, and then I'm going to go jogging.

 

I just want to look boss in a tuxedo. :tears:

 

You know how you just want to hug someone through the computer screen, sometimes?...

 

I just want to put this out there - this is my 1000th post on EC. :newcolor:

(!) (!) (!!) (!) (!)

:wow::music::wow:

*takes a bow*

:eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

:thewave:

:starwars:

(!) (!) (!!) (!) (!)

 

It's back to college in two weeks time and even before that the orientation to my program. I'm not as anxious about the curriculum as I know what's happening this time around, it's more so about history repeating itself. I've managed to start climbing out of my rut during my time off and I'm scared I'll fall back to my old ways.

 

Orientation Police | The Amazing Adventures of Bill

Where do I find gay men like this, who are willing to date transguys? :icon_sad:

 

Why do we have to pull our wisdom teeth? I had all 4 pulled out and I'm feeling so bad

 

That was cute. :lol:

Honestly, the orientation police can shove it. There are plenty of gay men who are willing to date transmen, and picking up on other qualities they find attractive should outshine any, er, shortcomings you might have, physically.

Yet another reason for trans awareness.

 

I assure ya there's plenty out there who'd be more than glad to =] A relationship at least in my mind is friendship so amazing as to exceed friendship and I for one dont see any reason I couldn't find that with a trans guy as easily as with any other guy. Otherwise the comic sums up most all of my feelings on it cutely~

 

May be hard to find, but we're out there. (*hug*)

Sidenote, don't know why, but I found the tiny afternote, "Also, why are you so obsessed with my boyfriend's junk?" strangely funny. Almost like a visual whisper. :lol:

 

All the damn time.