What Are You Thinking?

i wish i could keep this personal understanding of life and things all the time. i wish i could just keep this peace with myself and my mind all the time. but i know another storm will come and wreck all the contentess i have built inside my head. but for right now im just going to enjoy the silence and peace. for just right now everything in my life and all that i am.. it's all okay.

 

Wishing the best for you, mate. :\ Hope it's all able to work out... (*hug*)

---------- Post added 10th Aug 2013 at 04:32 PM ----------

And btw, anyone read this comic? This is going to sound really fucking cheesy but I think it saved my ass. Made me feel okay to be a queer transguy, which I was having loads of trouble coming to terms with.

What's Normal Anyway? - What to Expect…

 

I've already thrown out most of my female stuff like make up and nail polish lol. I'm still finding things now and then that gets chunked. I didn't really have much to begin with which makes it easy.

 

If someone doesn't stop me I will eat this entire bag of spicy nacho Doritos!

 

Oh shiz, I was taking a nap and i return and stefani is banned now o_0

In other news, my sister's friend got their citizenship and we're going to their party in a few.

 

Same. Back in the femme ages, I had that shit around but couldn't even be bothered to mess with it then.

But seriously. Read through the whole archive. It's great shit.

---------- Post added 10th Aug 2013 at 04:49 PM ----------

Wait. What? :|

 

I realized I didn't adequately explain something in the last part I wrote, causing one of the character's statements to not make any sense. Now I'm too self-conscious to even go back and edit that part, let alone continue working on the next. :/

 

I had make up, supposedly look great in it, but hate how I look in it. I don't recognize it as me and think I look ugly in it.

Also, am reading the archive.

 

Yeah. Always felt like a drag queen at amateur night. :lol:

 

I get tired of the women that go "But you need make up for interviews"

..No I don't. make up is ew.

I have one on a game I play that's constantly giving me shit for not being feminine. I grumble about the potential cost of a new wardrobe, namely men's button down shirts "just get blouses, they're cheaper".

Oi.

 

Yeah. Too much of a pain anyway. Never figured out how the hell to put it on. :lol:

Since when are they cheaper? Any decent thrift stores in your area, seem that'd be a good place to acquire a male wardrobe. Planning on hitting one myself in the next couple days.

 

The only time I'm looking forward to wearing makeup is at my graduation. I'm only doing so because my school still recognises me as female so I'll have to go in a dress and whatnot, and why not I guess. Might as well do drag for my own highschool graduation. And the best part is that staff won't even pick up on that.

 

Still recognize you as female? Aw, mate. Might as well play it up if anything else, I suppose.

 

I know where there's a local thrift store. I might see about going there. The only reason I knew how to put on make up was because mom showed me.

Oddish: I only wore make up for my highschool graduation, but at that point, i wasn't questioning. Oddly enough, I looked back at the picture and don't really recognize the picture as myself, which is interesting 'cause I was fairly pretty. I didn't wear anything for college graduation, and I hate how I looked. Stupid woman next to me in the chairs kept doing fist pumps and knocking my cap off center, so in the pictures, my cap is at an angle.

 

I am getting tired now, ich bin mude

 

I'm in the Laundromat again...just watching my clothes tumble-dry...and texting a potential date tonight...

 

Yup, even though I've come out to all of my teachers and my mum and I had a conference with my principal about the whole ordeal and bathroom situation and whatnot. It sucks, but whatever. Only 2 months and a couple weeks; I can manage.

That's why I'm excited about it. I get to fuck around with gender roles and not be called out for it, or even be noticed considering how oblivious these people are.

 

You should go all out like LaRue.

 

Every time I write/type/say something about my gender identity, I feel like I have to throw up and shit myself at the same time. I'm going to call this feeling the trans flu.

 

Crossing my fingers on tomorrow.