I guess what I intend to ask in this post is if it's normal to be so critical of your appearance, or if maybe it's just a personal issue. I guess what I'm saying is, is it normal for me to think the way I do about how I look? To elaborate more, whenever I look in the mirror, I always point out the things that I see wrong, or that I think people would think is unattractive to myself. I see every little scar, stray hair, my crooked smile, ect. I get so paranoid about it sometimes that I've missed hanging out with a friend multiple times because of my self analyzing thinking. I just don't know if I'm crazy, normal, or what. :/
I think it's normal to feel a bit critical about our body appearance due to social media bombarding us with images of what the "perfect body" is. However, it seems like your case seems a bit more out-of-the-ordinary than most people as you stated that your paranoia causes you to miss out on social functions. I suggest seeking some counseling as soon as possible as it seems like you might have body dysmorphic disorder. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Body_dysmorphic_disorder
The reality is everyone does this. We see out own flaws because they stare us in the face, but most other people don't even see 90% of what we see. But, if a scar or a freckle or a mole is the deciding factor a guy is going judge you on then you're better off without them. People that wear superficiality like a damn suit of armor have nothing within and nothing to offer you, so don't even bother with them.
I wish I knew what I did at 18. I picked myself apart, every little flaw. Now that I'm in my 40s I realize just how cute, and thin I was! I try to appreciate what I have now, knowing i'll look back in twenty years and probably think the same thing, lol. But if it is affecting you socially, then it might be a good thing to talk to someone about. Social anxiety, over anything, is no fun.
