We "choose" our Orientation?

Well, I think I decided to offer another viewpoint. Not that I picked choice or natural as there's another way to view it.

Sexuality is usually defined as the direction of attraction from intrinsic interest based from conceptualized form of sexual attraction. Using this meaning, it's no choice even if not innate.

Sexuality can also be defined by behavior, so you can choose your sexuality from which individuals you choose to have sex with. This is the essential qualifier position.

Both meanings have their own sets of problem although first one is standard to LGBTQ organizations. First meaning lacks in objectivity and the second meaning does not consider emotional states and forced scenarios. Those are the problems for both.

 

I disagree. Sexuality can't be defined by behavior, but rather can be expressed. However, with the number of people who have married and had children before they realized they were gay, it's not necessarily the case, as demonstrated by some members of this site. Behavior, in that case, is usually a result of the social stigma of being of a sexual minority.

 

Which is why the first definition is standard even if it ain't having anything objective in the first place. The second one is more objective in the sense that it doesn't deal with emotions and states, but it ignores that emotions are important aspects to one's sexuality.

 

Reptilian. I'm not gonna go against you but do you think its a choice? by some degree?

 

Well, this depends on a lot of what is the reference point. But since I am a believer of determinism, I wouldn't say it's a choice even if one is to go by the second meaning. But for the sake of the argument, assuming that free will is true and the second one is what we must go through, then yeah, it is a choice. But, since the first one is standard, it ain't even a question of having a choice. Once again, even beliefs of whether it's a choice or not is not simple as black and white as there's different types of beliefs and different conclusions for different circumstances.

I do believe that other who actually avoids emotions can answer what is my position without appeals to assumptions. I'm the kind of guy that prefers looking outside of the standard positions and look into all of the different positions possible and conclusions possible.

 

This question is still actually asked?

 

It's definitely not a conscious choice. There is still argument on what degree or % of sexual orientation is nature and the other nurture. There tends to be this assumption that sexuality is fluid or that very few can be completely gay or straight. The Kinsey Scale is often used as evidence for this flexibility and people even assign themselves a Kinsey number. None of this is scientific at all and is based on flawed research. However, the prenatal/biological/totally genetic arguments aren't as strong either. It's definitely an odd mystery. We can determine the root causes of lots of things, except sexual orientation.

 

I grew up not knowing what it meant to be gay. I grew up being told that there would come a time when I would find myself attracted to women. Not once did anyone tell me that maybe, just maybe, I might start feeling attracted to men instead of women. Not once did anyone tell me that sometimes, people can feel attracted to members of the same sex. I spent my entire life growing up waiting for and anticipating that day I would find myself attracted to women. It didn't come. Instead, a time came when I started feeling attracted to men, but because I didn't know anything about same-sex attraction, I didn't realize that this feeling for men was the same exact feeling I was waiting for and anticipating the entire time. So I was still waiting for and anticipating that day when I would find myself attracted to women. It still didn't come, and I only realized that that day would never come and that I was gay when someone indirectly revealed it to me.

How could I have chosen something I didn't know existed?

 

who was the person who voted that it's a choice?

 

That...that was touching. I cried whilst reading that. I don't know why though but that spoke to me and it said...you went through this, you know how it feels.

 

This

 

It's true. One day I decided that I wanted to be hated, discriminated against, and possibly threatened or even killed, so I trained myself to get a boner when I see guys. It's totally completely possible and logical.

 

I just died laughing :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap :eusa_clap

 

It is my belief that nobody chooses their orientation. I believe that it is something people are born with.

 

For the record, I'm not assuming the worst in people. That comment just hit me the wrong way this morning. It upsets me when people assume that people seem to assume that being bisexual means that you get to decide who you are attracted to/fall in love with, which is simply not true. I hope I'm misinterpreting your line about claiming to be straight, but bisexuals that are in opposite sex relationships (myself included) don't tend to put on a straight persona. I will concede, however, that when in a same-sex relationship people do observe you as hetero which does cause one to feel like I'm hiding themselves just because they love a woman (which could be it's own discussion).

If I am misusing the term biphobia, please educate me. I thought it just meant misperception of what bisexual means and drawing conclusions based on that.

 

That reminded me of an onion article I read a while ago

After Careful Deliberation, Baby Goes With Homosexuality | The Onion - America's Finest News Source

 

I don't think anyone redefined bisexual here? Just like with any other orientation, a bisexual person CAN (note the word "can") choose not to pursue their attraction, and in this case same-sex attraction, and claim that they "chose" to be straight. He and justinf are saying this to show the misconception and some bi (and pan by extension) seem to have about choices. No one is saying you can choose who you fall in love here. See the differences?

And I don't understand what you mean with the bold part.

As far as I know, biphobia in the LGBT is the belief that bisexual isn't real and a bisexual is someone who is in denial (aka actually gay). That is considered biphobia.

 

No way is it a choice. I was the same waiting for feelings for women, its not happening.
Yeah i can be great friends with girls, infact i prefer them, but just not in a relationship way.

 

Night Rain, thank you for clearing that up for me. And the bold was definitely not intentional, I don't know how that happened.

 

It's natural, I don't think we could ever choose our orientation. And if we did, would support sites like EC even need to exist? I'm sure the world would be a much easier place for those who spent years in denial about an orientation they didn't choose. But Our orientation is about as choosable as who your family is