Language and transgender people

I describe myself readily as 'sexually abused'.

I may not like that it happened, but it has shaped who I am, and I see no reason to be ashamed of that. I would much rather speak openly about it in the hopes of helping someone else who's gone through what I have.

 

I'm a male.

Within the trans* or LBGTQ community, I don't mind being labeled FtM because it highlights an element of my experience that (in the context of sharing personal experience, facing discrimination, fighting for rights, etc) is important. Outside of sharing life experiences like that, though, I don't need to be labeled FtM because I'm just male. Outside of supporting others, I don't need to be labeled as "sexually abused" because I'm just a person.

So my gender isn't "transgender," it's male, and if somebody asks my gender that's the answer they're getting. But my life experience is transgender, specifically FtM, and I'm alright with it's use. I don't see FAAB as meaning the same thing as FtM because there's no vector-- there are females and males who were (are?) FAAB, not to mention non-binary folks (and vice versa), so that term in itself doesn't communicate everything that FtM or MtF communicates. The whole point of labeling is to quickly and efficiently communicate a bit of information about a person. I don't feel like F/MAAB accomplishes that.

It's a matter of context, for me, and I don't resent any label used respectfully.

 

I feel as if you are trying to guilt and shame me because I choose not to be out and I'm [not] sorry that I will not own your guilt.

I'm "out" here as trans and to some of my friends. I'm "out" here so I can help other people when I can. I'm very far past transition and am not just coming out. I doubt you would go around publicly announcing that you were sexually abused. I'm not ashamed of being trans, I just don't see the need to broadcast it, particularly in my line of work where if my trans status were known, I could be fired and I would probably get a lot of shit for it. I lost a very good job due to transition and I am just now finally picking up the pieces, and none too soon. My house is in foreclosure and I don't need to end up unemployed again.

I have in the past helped some trans women IRL. Mostly I don't anymore because I can't deal with the drama and I have very little patience for people who want to whine about circumstances and problems but not do anything to really change them and many trans women are pros at that.

Call it selfish or whatever you want to call it, I don't care. I help people as I can and I have a family I take care of. Just because I don't put myself out there to everyone doesn't make me wrong or a bad person.

 

I hate biological female/male
Just because they were born with the opposite sexes parts does not mean they're not biologically their gender. Nothing in the mind changed! Gender never changed! It's been like that since birth!