So I've told my closest friends and my sister so far. And actually one gay acquaintance that I needed advice from. I want to tell the people that live with me in the same house: my parents, my aunt, and my cousin. They are the hardest of all the people I need to come out to. I really don't care if random people know, all my friends and co-workers etc. I would rather they did. But I feel like I can't tell certain people if it comes up in conversation until I tell my family. Tomorrow I'm SURE it will come up with a 2nd cousin of mine. And I don't want to lie. I'm really bad at it and I just don't want to try and make up stories or have awkward moments where I constantly try to change the subject. But I don't want her to tell other family members and have my parents be the last to know. And she might not say anything... I don't know. Has anyone had trouble with timing and trying to come out in the right order? I've been trying to find the right time to tell my family but I'm giving up on that right now because it's too stressful. But I'm completely comfortable telling others. Is that a bad idea?
I don't think it's a bad idea at all. There really isn't a right order it's just who you feel more comfortable telling first
If you don't want your cousin to tell others just let her know how personal it is to you that you don't tell anyone. Unless she's pure evil or something, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't tell anyone else.
I understand exactly what you mean. I think it's a good idea to tell your parents as soon as possible, if you can handle it...
that's exactly how i feel. i want people to know, but until i manage to tell my parents i feel like i have to lie
It's good practice to tell others first. It builds your confidence and makes you more comfortable with being out. You also build a support system to help pick up the pieces if coming out doesn't go so well.
i recently started to come out to some people, but in my case, my family is not in the list, they wouldnt never accept it :/ well... i'm choosing who to tell first by the level of friendship and acceptance... i have some friends who always make homophobic commentaries so i'm still planning on how to tell them while i tell other friends that have been very supportive so it can help me on step 2
The fact remains: This is difficult no matter how its done and people will surprise you. Some will laugh and cry or offer support. Others will judge and ridicule while still others will be more curious and inquisitive than anything else. Its also important to keep in mind that while you feel you may have someone's reaction pinned-its best to go into it with zero expectations. I think the best defense is a good offense. Sounds cliche, but coming to terms about how YOU feel about yourself will help you establish your confidence and preparation for those difficult questions. What I'm learning in these early stages myself is that while some of what's said may crush your heart, there is respect to be had in self-honesty and the relief of self-truth is the most gratifying thing I've ever experienced. Good luck! <3
