Hey guys! So now that I'm out (yay!), I'm planning a second date with that awesome guy I talked about in my other posts . We actually have a joke that it's more of a 1.5th date because the first one was rushed and secretive, so it only counted for half, lol. Anyways, I'm trying to figure out where to take him - any ideas? Ideally it won't involve dinner, mainly because my diet is kind of weird :lol:. I was thinking maybe I'd take him to the movies actually . Any thoughts on that? What kind of movie should I suggest? And most importantly, is it okay if halfway through the movie I put my arm around him? :icon_bigg
A movie sounds good, but I think it'd be better if you took him to some park or something so you two could actually talk and get to know each other better. This is not an advice, and I won't even get mad if you ignore it *evilgrin* since my love life equals to zero, it's just a suggestion.
Movie dates are... interesting. Though I've never been on one, it essentially can turn out in two sorts of ways, or somewhere in between. 1. Watching the movie, perhaps making small comments to each other throughout 2. Doing couple-like things, such as the yawn-stretch-into-arm-over-shoulder move, or holding hands, or even making out. With that said, it could also be crowded and loud. #2 may not be possible in such a case. #1 is quite tame for a date, and you or he may consider it a slight waste of time, even though you are together. After all, it's hard to get to know each other at a movie, and you two may want to spend more quality time together. Movie dates may be best for when you both know each other quite well. That way, #2 is pretty much guaranteed to be okay, as you'd have in theory already kissed or hugged and such. Plus, you'd both be more comfortable with each other physically and just in general, so sharing an experience while not talking much would be fine, and wouldn't be even a slight waste of time. I think it's perfectly fine to put an arm around him. It's not like you're doing anything overly physical, like a kiss. For kisses, it may be best to ask permission, or pay attention to the atmosphere and how you both feel at the moment. As for what movie... It could be a scary one, or a romantic comedy type. Dramatic movies, or tragedies, may not exactly be date-like material. It depends, but that is my opinion. You could do other things, perhaps. Star-gazing, walking or biking at a park, window shopping or actually shopping, coffee shop... Any combination of anything can work. The important thing is that you're spending time together. Even just sitting on a bench somewhere can be nice, as you're both getting to know each other. You could talk about anything and everything, really =)
The cuteness of this thread is too much for my single life. lol The movies sounds fun. There are some people that recommend going to a certain type of movie, but personally, I would just recommend see a movie that both of you would be most excited to see. It would allow you to have more to talk about/discuss. As for the arm, I don't think many people would have a problem with it. It would probably depend on the person, but most would probably be fine or prefer it. Oh, but I would recommend picking a theater at a social center(Like a mall, or galleria). That way you will have somewhere to walk around and talk after, rather than going straight to the car, unless you have another destination to get to.
I have mixed feelings about the movie idea. Not that it's bad, but it wouldn't give as much chance to interact. Although this objection is reduced if you went back to what I gathered from one of the comments in one of your other threads is the traitor coffee shop, and there discussed said movie. Assuming, of course, there is anything to discuss. 1.5 hours of various explosions, car wrecks, etc does not allow for much intellectually stimulating conversation afterwards. As for movie ideas...who knows. I have no idea what's out, frankly, since I always wait for the movie to appear on DVD at my local library, which enables me to watch it for the everyday low price of zero dollars. My very favorite price. But...what movie interests does Sebastian have? And of those interests, what are you interested in? And what local movie aligns with those interests? Dinner might be worth a second thought. Just how weird is your diet? This is an era of diverse diets; in my area, at least, one could probably find a place to eat that would be acceptable for "normal" people, and also people with restrictive diets.
Thanks for all the responses so far! You guys are fast :lol:. Sebastian will pretty much watch anything, haha - though he tends to be a really emotional person, so I imagine something along those lines would be good. On the other hand, I happen to know he's not a huge fan of romantic comedies, so I'm not sure... how about something like Now You See Me? Would that be a good choice? How weird is my diet? Weird, trust me, :lol:. Though I really have a thing for breakfast for dinner! So maybe a little family-owned restaurant that serves breakfast all day? That could be fun . Would it be a good idea to give him a couple options and ask which one he'd like better?
A lot of this depends on what the first date was as well... I don't mind movies if they are coupled with something else like a walk or food or coffee. I like going to a movie and then doing something after because it automatically gives you a kick off point for conversation. I wouldn't usually just pick someone up, take them to a movie, then drop them off. To me that is in line with how everyone else placed the "movie date", but as part of a longer date I think a movie is totally fine. However, peoples taste in movies can be really different, but if he is easy going I don't think the actual movie would matter too much as the movie is never really the main point behind the date, and a bad movie is not the make or break. I always prefer some sort of fun activity that can combine talking with doing fun stuff. It is a lot of pressure/can be awkward sometimes to literally sit on a bench and talk to each other for a long time. I like to build conversation into an activity so something fun like an arcade or biking on a trail (since its summer now) or a water park or something like that thats a little more active. Just my opinion though. That way you are able to make some fun memories too and get to know each other better.
Well the first date was more of a 0.5th date because it was so short (45 minutes in a coffee shop), I was nervous, I wasn't out, and it just generally was more of a catalyst for me to come out and learn to be myself. So me and him have a joke that is is more going to be a 1.5th date, haha :lol:. That's exactly what I'd do if I took him to the movies - we'd go to the really nice coffee house across the parking lot and just talk for a while . So back to the million-dollar-question, how do I steer the date towards a kiss at the end?
You could have two approaches. See which you like more, and which would perhaps be best for you and him and your relationship. 1. Ask/explain "I really want to kiss you now... Would that be okay?" "Can I kiss you right now?" "Is it okay if I kiss you?" "Do you mind if I kiss you?" 2. Go with the flow (You can still ask permission) If you're ever in a situation where you're both leaning in (for example, on a bench and being somewhat forward-leaning towards each other) and just generally being more serious and romantic, that sounds like prime kissing time to me. It sounds like you both like each other a lot anyways. I doubt he'd turn you down for a kiss, but even if he did, it's not the end of the world, believe me. If he doesn't reciprocate and/or keeps on denying physical affection, that is when you should get worried. It happened to me and my 'ex-boyfriend', and it is sort of why we broke up.
I'm figuring #2 is probably what'll end up happening - perhaps I'll offer a hint/excuse for him to get closer and that'd make things easier . What do you think of lightly commenting that my neck's a bit sore? I read somewhere that that gives him an excuse to touch/massage/get closer. Also, do you think it's appropriate to kiss in a coffee shop?
That could be fun. This is one of those things that varies from person to person... But personally I would not be bothered by a strange dinner. At least strange within certain limits. I guess we have this vision of dating dinners being fancy restaurants with fancy service...but I don't see why it must be this way. A guy taking me out someplace unique--even if I end up hating the experience--would get points for creativity. ---------- Post added 10th Jun 2013 at 11:43 AM ---------- It may have been only .5 date--and yes, I'd be making jokes, too, in your position--but you did really well.
As for kissing, I guess I'd suggest just going with the flow. It's tempting to try to micromanage every detail. But in life in general, that doesn't seem to work...things always end up going in directions you didn't anticipate. I personally would probably skip the sore muscle excuse. It might lead to something, but, again, it might not. Try that on me, and I'm afraid I'm dense enough to not pick up the clue. You need to wrap clues around a brick, and toss them in my window. Although maybe Sebastian is better at clues this like this. I can't say for sure, but I suspect the physical stuff will come easily when the time is right. ---------- Post added 10th Jun 2013 at 11:51 AM ---------- I probably would not, but I'm not one for big scenes of PDA. However...if it's OK for straights to kiss there, I don't see why gays shouldn't be allowed to do the same.
My BF and I went to a movie for the first time this past weekend, after 5 weeks of dating... I think it was wise to wait for that, until then we've had so much to talk about that a movie would have interfered with the precious little time we had together. It was more fun at this stage because we could discreetly hold hands throughout the movie or teasingly grope each other when in the dark
@greatwhale that is awesome lol, glad to see your date went well! Have you thought about going to a museum? You could grab some coffee and then walk around looking at some funny art. Plus, you will be able to talk there!
Thanks for all the awesome responses so far, guys! . Thank you (*hug*) :icon_bigg. :lol: Sounds like me! So what kind of clues-around-bricks would you suggest? :icon_bigg Very good point! I'm not concerned about PDA at all - long as the store can't legally force me out (they can't for kissing), I don't care what other people in the coffee shop think .
yo! you should go out for Indian food.. nothing says I know how to treat a person like Indian food! ..true facts.. (you can go to a movie if there is one you really want to see... ONLY THEN) hehe
I think movie seems like a great way to start. Or you guys can do a fun activity together like sports or smth?