Reactions when you came out

"That's all right, I accept you for who you are."

Is the reaction I got.

 

All acceptance...but another option not on the poll was

"well duh"

Foxface

 

How about the ever so wonderful "It's a hard life you're choosing for yourself! Remember Matt Shepard!" courtesy of my mother? I can only imagine all the lovely discussions about Brandon Teena and the transwoman cast member she used to work with, complete with botched pronouns. Fun times.

 

Mom- "Are you sure?" and we just cried afterwards.

Male Friend 1- "Wow!!! Some of us joked about why you never had a girlfriend and one said, 'Maybe AlamoCity is gay,' and then they all proceeded to dismiss it. I never expected it. You know I'm cool with it, right?"

Male Friend 2- "Yeah, I kinda knew. I suspected it cause you never stared at all the hot co-eds walking around campus. It's all cool."

Male Friend 3- "You always struck me like you had a secret or something you were hiding. Now I know what it was. Anyways, I don't judge you. Let's go to Panda Express."

Female Friend- "Oh wow! Well, I can now see it. I love gay people!!! Now I gotta find you a husband!!!"

Uncle- "REALLY?!?!?! I thought you were just shy, no wonder you've never had a girlfriend. Anyways, I accept you and don't judge you." He then hugged me (which was weird, because he never hugs).

 

Like AlamoCity, I got different reactions from different people, at different times:

Mom: Oh - I love and accept you. But that's a hard life and I'm concerned about you.

Friend: Ok - You know I'm not gay right?

Roommates: Mostly 'ok' and one or two 'ok, but I'm straight'.

Co-worker: What?! No way! You're just messing with my head! You can't be gay! You don't fit my stereotype!

Male Boss: Congratulations! Cool! Now we can check out guys together (which we did from time to time )

Todd

 

"Eh, whatever. (Indifference)
Well, I hope you're not interested into me.
Are you gonna ask me out?
Can you stay away from me?"

Plus "well, no shit".

 

Yeahp, three types:

1. That's ok. I accept people for who they are.

That relatively rare response seems to only come from people who are LGBT* or have at some point questioned (for example my dad, who couldn't possibly be more straight sexually, had questioned before...and much to my surprise that was his response).

Honestly, these folks just seem to "get it" in a way others don't. I don't know, maybe I'm reading too much into it...


2. Eh? Whatever.

Now, I'm not sure what the intent was for the nature of this response by the OP - but for me I always take it as, once I've referred to liking guys in some way, a quick moment of realization (the "Huh?" or "Eh?" part), followed by immediate acceptance and then a moving on with the conversation as if it were completely trivial. (Which, I'm of the opinion it is that - trivial - so I quite like that type of response).

3. I'm shocked.


Typically from people who have a stereotyped notion of what "gay" ought to look like. Always feel the need to point out, since there's usually a claim of "but I can always tell," that the reason one can always tell, is because they see the people that are easy to spot - and fail to note all the ones where you can't "tell."

Heh, it's better than getting a homophobic response, I suppose. Just don't see the need to turn it into something to be "shocked" over.

 

I've never actually said the words but I think they know. I spent almost the whole night thinking about this. I realized I might have been easier to read than I thought. My grandparents raised two girls after all and had four nieces among many other female relatives who are all heterosexual.

Basically, they think if I don't sleep with women than I'm not a lesbian and it breaks my heart that despite knowing (or suspecting) I'm gay, they still expect me to find a boyfriend and live a 'normal' life.

Anyway, I chose 'Perhaps, you're just too young to know.' and 'You'll find interest into the opposite sex one day.' but here are a few others I heard when I was hinting at it.
"It's unnatural."
"Don't become one of them!"
"They're ugly"
"That's disgusting!"

I also chose '(Preaches christian values)' and '(Insert rants about homosexual)' because that's what my grandmother did when I said I supported equality and same sex rights.
Here are a few other comments she made "They have more than enough rights already." and "Marriage is between a man and a woman." and something about abomination, showing off and alternative lifestyles...
They love me very much though...

P.S. I forgot to pick 'Other'. Sorry.

 

I got mostly acceptance and whatevers since my family "always knew".

 

First reaction had normally been one of the first two options, I've had a few people who are shocked/ don't believe me too.

 

I get a lot of "Oh I'm amazed it took you so long to figure it out" people.

 

"I know" is what I got from nearly EVERYONE. I guess I was just really terrible at pretending to be straight. *shrugs*

 

KARISSA: "Maybe we should go out some time" (she puts her hand on my leg) "I like you a lot."

ME: "I have a boyfriend."

KARISSA: (stunned silence)

ME: "I'm gay. And yes, I have a boyfriend."

KARISSA: "OMG who is it? Are you the top or bottom?"

 

I'm only out to one person but she took it very well. Basically a that's alright, I accept you kind of thing

 

I just had to add that when I came out to my dad, I really just showed up with my girlfriend and was like "Dad, Here's my girlfriend. What's for dinner?"

and he just went along with it. My family is pretty awesome.

 

Quotes from Mom:

"What's transgender?" :dry:

"I'm just concerned for your sexuality."

"You're able to do many things and have different styles as a girl." sorry but in one way or another, they all are way too girly!

"You know, lesbians do make themselves look like boys." Her completely confusing transgender with someone different completely. :eusa_doh:

"You know, your aunt was always confused with her sexuality and people would always tell her she acted a lot like a boy. They always said she had hands similar to a man's." Which, would've actually been good news (seeing there is actually someone in my family who has faced the problems I'm having and could've possibly been a mentor) except my aunt is a severe alcoholic and drug abuser, as been on the streets, jail and housing for years and barely has a grasp on reality. So, with that, I earned this question from my mother: "You do know to stay away from drugs, right?" :bang: Not only am I transgender and sexually confused, I'm also a possible drug and alcohol abuser to her.

Quote from my best friend:

"I'm completely excepting of anyone." All in all she is very excepting towards me but she doesn't quite understand what it means to be transgender. However I'm thankful she's willing to learn from me.

 

When I came out to my mum, I was expecting her to cry but I'm the one who blubbered like a gigantic baby about it. She was cool with it, a little disappointed and I could see it, but she said, "I accept you and if you need to do this in order to be happy, then so be it." And we got on the topic of how I was always boyish as a kid and maybe it was really some sort of genetic mess up because I have two brothers and I'm the only female-born out of my parents' kids and something got messed up. Or I was either really influenced by my brothers and my dad when I was growing up. Stuff like that.

When I told my dad, he just said, "So you're brining this up again, for the first time in four years? Well, I don't care what you are, I'll still support you." My dad doesn't really care what I do.

My best friend and other friends basically said, "We still love you and you've always acted like a guy from the start."

My girlfriend was in shock and it took her a while to come to terms with it, but now she addresses me and views me as her boyfriend, so she's come pretty far. I thought we were going to break up when I mentioned it, but I was wrong. 4 months strong as of yesterday.

As for everyone else, mixed feelings. Most of them positive, a lot of them confused. I'll definitely say that I have an awesome family who would never abuse me in any way or disown me for my sexuality/gender/ect. I'm pretty lucky.

 

My friends accepted me but my parents were sort of like "Pshhh you're not a lesbian don't tell anyone else you might ruin our sparkling reputation *evil death glare*"

 

I've got really good reactions from everyone. My male friends responded with "that's cool, dating women sucks" for the most part, and a few of my female friends responded with "aww, that's cute".