Is it normal to not care about or want sex?

It is normal in the sense that a lot of guys feel the same way, but really most guys do care about sex (at least in their 20s). I never had any interest in relationships or sex throughout high school and into college (I never had a girlfriend/boyfriend/crush, was never jealous of couples, etc.). I was/am a very shy, introverted, and depressed person, never very confident in myself.

Then in my 2nd year of college I befriended a gay guy who I just happened to be attracted to at the time (both romantically and physically). I realized that I was indeed gay and masturbated for the first time (yes, when I was almost 21) but wasn't really looking forward to sex (I thought anal would be weird too). I ended up doing some kissing/cuddling with him but nothing more (turns out he was a jerk! =P).

Once I met my current boyfriend though, I became more confident in myself and had sex for the first time. Now I enjoy bottoming for him because of our emotional connection (tried it with other guys, not the same). I'm still a shy, introverted, and somewhat depressed person, but at least I am confident in my sexuality now.

Anyway, my point is that maybe your experience will be similar. Once you meet the right guy, you might become more interested in sex (at least with him). From my perspective that is what happened to me and in hindsight I can see it happening to other people too. Some people do seem to be truly asexual though, but for me it had more to do with self love and self confidence (and just plain ignorance of what sex was and felt like).

 

No there's nothing wrong with it, it's just what you prefer. It might be because of depression, but you stated you felt this way before you became depressed so maybe you just like intimacy more than sex at this current point in your life.

 

This sort of describes me...I want a relationship, have someone to cuddle with and develop and emotional relationship, etc. The sex isn't nearly a priority for me. I'm also the same way with anal. I do have a sex drive though, so I think once I meet the right person I'll be comfortable enough for sex. If tmjdg is right then I'll meet someone and then have sex, but the sex won't come first.

Being in the closet doesn't make these kinds of things easy to deal with though.

 

You're only 19, and even when you are older, it doesn't matter if you're not interested in sex. You will probably care about it and want it when you get into your 20s or 30s, but you will know when you are ready. Don't worry about it, enjoy what you already have!

 

I'm the exact same way -_-

 

im kinda feel the same way too and im close to 22 now

 

Wow. I feel the same way. I'm glad there's someone else who feels the exact same way! :eusa_clap

 

Yup, hi-five there. I don't really see it as important and find that it can be quite detrimental to the relationship if there is too much of it

 

I feel like that as well. Cuddles and hugs!~

 

That's how I feel too, anything more would just seem weird right now...

 

Hooray for cuddles! (*hug*)

 

I feel that way too. Don't worry about whether it is normal or not, its just you. (and others too, obviously).

 

I feel the same I don't want sex I've been with a guy for 4 weeks now and I don't want sex it doesn't interest me

 

Its weird ive got a relativly high sex drive and I have only a brief sexual encounter, still a virgin though and I think thats fine especially at my age.(Im not out yet btw)
But my gay friend (who is also 16) is the exact oposite he can't fathom sex and would just rather cuddle. But he has already had a gay sexual encounter but didn't like it. (He's very much out)

So my advice would be that its ok to not feel the need for sex, ive got an asexual friend who has never felt any sex drive to speak of. It could be related to having deppression or self confidence issues but it is also pretty normal so I wouldn't worry. Just find someone who can understand your views toward sex and can help you get through it.

Big hugs from one closeter to another!
BTW sex is legal at 16 in australia so please dont freak out at me guys

 

This is basically how I feel too

I've never dated or anything, but I think I want a relationship, have someone to kiss/cuddle/be close with, and eventually a meaningful/emotional relationship (rather than just a sexual relationship.) ... but i'm also getting old

 

I was kind of like this until recently, when I met my first boyfriend, I mean I'm still not as excited as him, It seems pretty normal because in the gay community,(sorry to say this), but there are a lot of sluts. Its probably just the fact that you haven't found anyone youre comfortable around in that way yet